I want my payment in gold!

goingbroke

The following series of emails attempts to playfully document one of the world's most infamous cons: the Nigerian Email Scam, aka the 419 scam, aka the advance-fee fraud.

For Fools like us, it's truly difficult to comprehend, but tens of millions of dollars have been stolen from honest, unwitting victims through the use of a scam that was first created more than 90 years ago. Astonishingly, it continues to be effective.

While we sympathize with those who fall prey, I also believe we have a duty to educate, amuse, and enrich our community as well. In that vein, please enjoy the following conversation between one mischievous Fool and his new, wealthy friend:

From: Mr. Patrick Jeff
Sent: Tuesday, November 02, 2010 10:08 PM
To: Nick Kapur
Subject: Greetinge to you my dear

Attention.

I am the chairman Debt Reconciliation committee, we wish to inform you that due to the reform going on now and the agreed meeting held last week, it has been resolved that your payment should be effected immediately through the HSBC Bank Lodon, J P Morgan Chase New York or Bank for international settlement Swiss.

You are adviced to make your choice in between these 3 Banks
You should also Note that only $10 million will be paid to you as the case maybe.

Please do confirm to us which of the Banks you will like your payment to go through.

Regards.
Mr Patrick Jeff

From: Nick Kapur
Sent: Wednesday, November 3, 2010, 2:35 PM
To: Mr. Patrick Jeff
Subject: RE: Greetinge to you my dear

Mr. Jeff,

What glorious news!

I've recently lost all my money speculating on call options for the Motors Liquidation Company. Strong bullish advances seemed like such a lock at the time ... but alas, GM stock might actually be worth zero. I swear this market is rigged!

Now, with what little money I have left, I'm going all-out on Ambac LEAPs. This is precisely why your email is such a GODSEND! I'm desperately looking for more capital.

So, how do I get my money? I choose JPMorgan as my bank. Do I get all $10 million at once? I sure hope so. I think I'm getting a margin call from my broker as we speak.

What information do you need from me to complete the transaction?

Best,
Nick

From: Jeff Patrick
Sent: Wednesday, November 03, 2010 3:01 PM
To: Nick Kapur
Subject: Attention My Dear Nick Kapur is very urgent

Attention Sir

I got your revert mail to the subject matter and will have to advice you to forward urgently your receiving Banking information without mistake as it has been noted about your choice Bank.

Full Beneficiary Name
Bank Name
Bank Address
Bank Account Number
Swift Code
Copy of your Passport

You are therefore adviced to funish us with the details of your account and your working Telephone numbers for easy communications.

Thank You
Mr. Frank Jeff

From: Nick Kapur
Subject: RE: Attention My Dear Nick Kapur is very urgent
To: "'Jeff Patrick'"
Date: Wednesday, November 3, 2010, 7:28 PM

Mr. Frank Jeff,

Glad to hear from you. I recently spoke with your acquaintance Mr. Patrick Jeff (you must be brothers I LOVE family operations!!!). Anyway, I would be happy to supply you with all my relevant banking information. That way we can surely expedite the transaction. I do have one small request first, however.

Due to lingering pressure on the US dollar, can I request that I get paid in gold bullion rather than in good old greenbacks? With Ben and Co. announcing today that they're firing up the presses to the tune of $75 billion per month, I have serious concerns about fiat currencies. Perhaps you can address this issue for me by just shipping me a container or two of gold bars?

If my math is correct, if you convert the $10 million that you accidently discovered belonged to me into gold (at today's rate of $1,343.90 per oz), that comes to around 230 kilos

FistFullOfDollars

That is funny, I think we all could use 230 kilos of gold.