OT Living In Snow Country!!!! Great Joke !!!!
thedutymon
Posts: 4,323 ✭
Afternoon, Just spent about 40 of the last 48 hours Plowing, am beat, Home finally decompressing, will be asleep for 12-14 hours here soon.
Every year start of Snow season this joke goes around....For those of us who live in it, (Snow), a lot (And I mean alot of the joke is True, especially by Mar/Apr)!!!
December 8 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our Drinks and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
December 15 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for one hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Darn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to poop. By the time I got undressed, pooped and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23 Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the man who drives that snowplow I'll drag him through the snow by his nose and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25 Merry -bleeping- Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up where the sun don't shine. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8 Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Neil
Every year start of Snow season this joke goes around....For those of us who live in it, (Snow), a lot (And I mean alot of the joke is True, especially by Mar/Apr)!!!
December 8 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our Drinks and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
December 15 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for one hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Darn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to poop. By the time I got undressed, pooped and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23 Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the man who drives that snowplow I'll drag him through the snow by his nose and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25 Merry -bleeping- Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up where the sun don't shine. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8 Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Neil
Actually Collect Non Sport, but am just so full of myself I post all over the place !!!!!!!
0
Comments
I spent 3 1/2 years in Colorado Springs Colorado and 6 1/2 more years in Great Falls Montana, all thanks to the U.S. Air Force. I vividly remember having to shovel snow. I was in Colorado in October of 1997 when 36" of snow fell from noon Friday to 2:00 am Saturday. I had to spend 4 hours Saturday morning shoveling snow. Another time in Montana, I was on snow detail at Malmstrom AFB DURING the snowstorm. They actually made us shovel the sidewalk while it was snowing. You'd get about 10 feet of sidewalk shoveled, turn around, and the snow was an inch deep again!
At least twice during my time in Montana, we went 10 days or more where it never got above zero degrees. When it finally got to 32 above, we were out there in shorts and a t-shirt, it felt soooo warm!
I'm now in San Antonio Texas, AND LOVING IT!
Steve
Jeff
Miscut Museum
My Mess
I'm sure glad it was 84 here in sunnyDaytona Bch.,Fl.
J.R.
Needs'
1972 Football-9's high#'s
1965 Football-8's
1958 Topps FB-7-8
later
jeff
03/04 & 05/06 topps black
72-77 topps baseball raw
72-75 topps football raw
any years santo,williams,banks,
payton,butkus,sayers,piccalo,ditka,hampton
wantlist
good transactions katscards,swartz1,packman,Salinas
<< <i>SDSportsFan-I live in Fountain Colorado,just south of Colorado Springs.I remember that storm in 97.This last storm was 6 inches of snow but cold (-12 this morning).Actually the winters are mild out
later
jeff >>
Mild My As$............ I'm in New Castle, 9 miles East of Glenwood Springs, I had 2 1/2 Feet at my house before I left to Plow and we had at least another 1-1 1/2 over the last 30 hours. And the last Two weeks it's been averaging High's during the day of -5 to 10 above daytime, with morning temps -15 to -20 !!!
Mild my Patootey!!!
Neil
later
jeff
03/04 & 05/06 topps black
72-77 topps baseball raw
72-75 topps football raw
any years santo,williams,banks,
payton,butkus,sayers,piccalo,ditka,hampton
wantlist
good transactions katscards,swartz1,packman,Salinas
Bob
email bcmiller7@comcast.net
<< <i>Neil -I moved here in 2000,from NW Indiana,this is mild.Most of the snow is north of colorado springs(palmer divide).
later
jeff >>
That's true. I actually liked Colorado Springs, and would love to go back there
I remember they'd always warn people when an "Albuquerque Low" was coming, since that's when the Springs would get hit (a storm would come up out of New Mexico, and get stopped by the Palmer Divide and Pike's Peak, and just sit and dump on the Springs). Normally, all the storms coming from the west and north would get stopped north of the Palmer Divide. Denver would end up getting hit, but the Springs would be spared.
I lived in the Springs from mid-1995 to mid-1998, just east of Austin Bluffs and Academy. That blizzard in October 1997 was really abnormal. It shut down both interstates through the entire state of Colorado, and I remember reading about a couple being found dead in their car out in Falcon (east of Colorado Springs). They'd gotten stranded in the snow and died. I do know it came up from New Mexico though, as the street I lived on ran east-west, and all the snow was piled up against the south-facing apartments (on the north side of the road). All the apartments on the other side of the road were pretty-much clear. Also, all the cars parked on the north side of the street were completely buried under the snow (including a jeep and two Chevy Suburbans). The cars on the other side were clean. And of course, I lived on the north side of the street and my car was buried under a foot of snow
Steve
We do get plenty of snow around here, but it's imported from Colombia.
Nick
Reap the whirlwind.
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I rode all the way to tonight's game with the window down. This is time for Marguaritaville (or choice of cool bevrage). We play in a balmy 75 degrees after the sun went down, and I love every minute of December in Florida.
When I moved from up North, I left two things in plan site of the old house - my ice scraper and my snow shovel.
I wish you a warm and safe Holiday wherever you are.
I'm going to the beach tomorrow (3 minutes walk) to read and watch the tourists (while surfing the net). Sometimes life is good !
I am blessed.