Who wants a free baseball HOF autograph?

csmtampa · August 14, 2009 7:33PM

Who wants one? I have 600+ baseball hof signed cards.....I have been drinking my lovely Bud Light, and I want to give one away to the first person who makes me laugh the most at a golf joke.

I picked golf because I play it 4 times a month (18 holes each time) and I practice 4 times a week.

I will be good.....one day

Gonblott · August 14, 2009 7:34PM

ME

Gonblott · August 14, 2009 7:34PM

HMMM

golf joke....hmmmm

csmtampa · August 14, 2009 7:39PM

Yes....golf joke is required.. And I have a tee time of 0830

OAKESY25 · August 14, 2009 7:43PM

A Moment of Silence

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

zep33 · August 14, 2009 7:47PM

Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn't have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. 'I sure do,' he replied while he reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12-inch Bic lighter.

'Wow!' said his friend, 'Where did you get that monster lighter?'

'I got it from my genie.'

'You have a genie?'

'Yes, right here in my golf bag.'

'Could I see him?'

He opens his golf bag and out pops a genie. The friend asks the genie, 'Since, I'm a good friend of your master, will you grant me one wish?'

'Yes I will'' the genie replies.

The friend asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie hops back into the golf bag and leaves him standing there, waiting for his million bucks. Suddenly, the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard.

The friend tells his golfing partner, 'I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'

He answers,'I forgot to tell you that the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked him for a 12 inch Bic?'

84Mattingly · August 14, 2009 7:51PM

A man is getting married, and is standing by his bride at the church.

Standing by him is his golf clubs and bag.
His bride whispers: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
And the man said "This is not going to take all day is it?"

OAKESY25 · August 14, 2009 7:54PM

Couple Meets

A couple met at Hilton Head and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue the relationship after their vacations were over. "It's only fair to warn you, Jody," Bill said, "I'm a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep and breathe golf."

"Well, since you're being honest, so will I." Jody said. "I'm a hooker."

"I see." he said. Then, brightening, he smiled. "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

zep33 · August 14, 2009 8:32PM

There once was a guy who'd played golf 4 times a month and practiced 4 times a week hoping to someday get good.

One early Saturday morning after drinking Bud Light for several hours, he decided to have a contest to get someone to make him laugh.

Already under the influence, laughing should come easy to this young man.

However, he did not realize that he would fall asleep while waiting for the jokes to start rolling in.

Our young golfer then overslept, missing his 8:30AM tee time.

Sadly, he will only be golfing 3 times this month

csmtampa · August 14, 2009 8:44PM

Zep I read the first joke to my girlfriend and she couldn't stop laughing.

I read your second joke, and although not true, I couldn't stop laughing!

WOW that **** was hilarious.....haha I always do this before I golf....and it makes me shoot better!

PM me your address and i'll hook you up