Need some forum advice (all in good fun)
fishteeth
Posts: 2,264 ✭✭✭✭✭
Just married a little over a week ago. Today was the second big step; combining our bank accounts. I fought
for seperate accounts, but lost.
My wife knows I collect coins, but, she really has little to no idea of the value of my busties. I have tried to inform and
enlighten her, but her responses range from calling me a geek to telling me I need help. I was even called a dork
in her sisters Maid of Honor speech.
Now I have to come to grips that every time I pull money out for a coin purchase she will know. I am not looking
forward to the next big coin show when I have to "ask" permission to go pull out a few 1000 dollars to purchase
some shiny round objects.
My biggest concern is that I may have to double the sticker price of every coin I am looking at. I figure that she will want
at least an equal ammount to purchase her Coach and Louis Vitton (Sp?) bags with, right?
How do you married guys here keep your wives from blowing a gasket every time you bring home a new coin?
Well I should at least include a pic of what I have signed up for
for seperate accounts, but lost.
My wife knows I collect coins, but, she really has little to no idea of the value of my busties. I have tried to inform and
enlighten her, but her responses range from calling me a geek to telling me I need help. I was even called a dork
in her sisters Maid of Honor speech.
Now I have to come to grips that every time I pull money out for a coin purchase she will know. I am not looking
forward to the next big coin show when I have to "ask" permission to go pull out a few 1000 dollars to purchase
some shiny round objects.
My biggest concern is that I may have to double the sticker price of every coin I am looking at. I figure that she will want
at least an equal ammount to purchase her Coach and Louis Vitton (Sp?) bags with, right?
How do you married guys here keep your wives from blowing a gasket every time you bring home a new coin?
Well I should at least include a pic of what I have signed up for
0
Comments
Oh boy!
Let's just say I don't want to be the one to break it to you.
Congrats!!!
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working" Pablo Picasso
How do you married guys here keep your wives from blowing a gasket every time you bring home a new coin?
Separate checking accounts. In practice, however, I manage them both. I tell my wife when she is running low on money in hers.
Ray
Put the unneeded purchases (your coins, her female accessories) in your budget. You will both learn to live with it even if you both never like it.
I knew it would happen.
Click on this link to see my ebay listings.
Proud recipient of Y.S. Award on 07/26/08.
Just remember that forgiveness is easier than permission.
It just depends on how well you get along overall. Congrats on your wedding. She's very pretty.
My wife and I have 3 accounts: hers, mine and ours. Our joint account is used to pay common bills for the house and we each contribute an agreed upon amount to it each month. I pay the bills from that account but she has access to it and can see where the money goes.
My hobbies come out of my account and hers come out of hers. Not everyone can do this, but it works for us.
Good luck!
BUT...
Also reminds me of one my favorite Family Guy lines:
"Lois im the man of the house and as the man i DEMAND that you give me permission to go to that party!"
(all this coming from a married guy of 11 years...)
Lies and deceit work for a while, but if you value the busties you'll keep on the everything on the up and up or she'll end up with half of yours and you with none of hers. Honesty is the best policy. Just secure an "allowance" and stash it away in cash and start saving lunch money.
She's much prettier without that darn redeye!!!
We have two joint accounts, she uses one exclusively and I use the other. This avoids missed entries, two peopletrying to use one register will lead to errors, especially in the world of todays check/debit cards. It fine to have a joint account for access but have two accounts.
my advice: collect while you can, once the kids start coming, you won't have nearly as much time or money for your silly hobbies like coins, football, or poker with the guys.
but it's worth it. Well worth it!!
yours truly fondly remembers acquiring and studying such as this
congrats again
Liberty: Parent of Science & Industry
<< <i>Congrats.
Just remember that forgiveness is easier than permission. >>
Truer words never spoken
Joe
All in jest- congrats and good luck- tell us how you manage to spend exorbitant amounts of YOUR money on small silvery/golden discs- and not catch hell for it.
get yours today !!!
JP
Capped Bust Half Dollars by Variety & Die State Pictorial Refrence
the coin. I've managed over the years to make the coin account the biggest of the three! We do collect the little widgets
together and I ususally invite her to voice an opinion before I buy something. Sometimes I ignore her advise and that usually
backfires bigtime. If you can find a way to get her involved in the hobby it makes more sense. If not, just budget for them and
hold to the budget. Marriage is sharing and hobbies need sharing, too. Share yours with her asap. Get her involved with the
shipping and handling or ebay wording or whatever if you sell some. Just get her doing it and she'll see that there's fun and
profit (or at least fun) in the hobby.
Congrats and hope yours lasts as long and happy as ours.
bob
Have an agreement about how much should go into "hers" and "yours" (solo) each pay period/month. Have an agreement what the limit is for the joint account for purchases without each others consent (say, $500).
So, the solo accounts are for slush funds while the joint account is the vast bulk of everything and is for bills, mortgage, car payments, etc.
Works well.
I've been told I tolerate fools poorly...that may explain things if I have a problem with you. Current ebay items - Nothing at the moment
Now...you "fought for seperate accounts, but lost"?!?!?
This early in the marriage, you gotta set the right tone....you have to win this one and insist on separate accounts. A joint account for bills and separate accounts for play money is the only way to go.
She also doesn't care how much is in "our" account as long as the debit card works when she goes shopping. That is the other interesting thing, everything gets paid from "our" account, including when she needs to get new shoes and clothes. I think the only thing paid out of her account is quilting supplies.
World Collection
British Collection
German States Collection
I would just create your own account and have a set amount direct deposited into it from each paycheck before it ever hits the "joint" account
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<< <i>Oh, one more thing. If you go tit-for-tat on handbags, shoes, jewelry, and clothes, you will quickly surround yourself with a lot of worthless crap. >>
good advice that. material objects are rarely ever able to be sold for
a similair amount at what they were purchased.
just tell the wife if you want that tit for tat mentality the stuff she buys
has to be liquid and able to resell for at least 60% of what it cost!
;-)
But truly.. i do not know. money has broken so many marriages. It
is a troublesome topic.
<< <i>What she doesn't know won't hurt you. >>
Yes it will...
good luck!
ya know what might work is to challenge her in investing as it's a healthy venture
women love competition too and ask her to compete with ya and do a yearly...let's see how eachother is doing
My advise, establish a separate "coin account". I began mine with some seed money we both had agreed on. All coin purchases and any coin sells go into this account. If I need funds for purchases than something must be sold. No sells...no buy! I use no household (combined) funds for any purchases. I treat this account as I would a separate business. Thus far there's been no problems or questions asked.
If that doesn't fly -- and I would worry a little if it doesn't -- then make a point of showing her how good an investment rare coins can be. Show her some proof. Just not the losses, of course.
Bottom line is she needs to trust your judgment (the most commonly misspelled word of all time).
Congrats on the nuptials! You both look so much better without the red eyes.
President, Racine Numismatic Society 2013-2014; Variety Resource Dimes; See 6/8/12 CDN for my article on Winged Liberty Dimes; Ebay
I must underline much of what was said above. I have seen so many great couples needlessly fight over money.
It is imperative that you each are able to blow a little money w/o asking the other. The only way to do that is if you each have a little bit budgeted for that purpose. The easiest way to account for that is 3 checking accounts, his, hers and joint for bill paying.
<< <i>Mazel tov! >>
From here on out, Buddy, you are on your own. Try not to lie outright. Squirell some money away. Absolutely keep the proceeds of sales separate so that you will not have to stutter much.
Mazel Tov, again!!!!!!!!!!!!
I firmly believe in numismatics as the world's greatest hobby, but recognize that this is a luxury and without collectors, we can all spend/melt our collections/inventories.
eBaystore
I just hope this means that you will still be hanging around here, but I know it will be tough
Many happy years ahead for the both of you!!
NGC registry V-Nickel proof #6!!!!
working on proof shield nickels # 8 with a bullet!!!!
RIP "BEAR"
<< <i>Congrats on getting married.
How do you married guys here keep your wives from blowing a gasket every time you bring home a new coin?
Separate checking accounts. In practice, however, I manage them both. I tell my wife when she is running low on money in hers. >>
Same here. I highly recommend this.
She has a checkbook and a debit card, and warns me prior to any five-figure purchase.
We've been married 26 years...
Check out my current listings: https://ebay.com/sch/khunt/m.html?_ipg=200&_sop=12&_rdc=1
After reading it I think I will re-open the 2 account idea. I have my own business so should be easy enough
for me to keep my own account filled. Perhaps she will give me a budget, perhaps X% of whatever I take home.
After all I am the major bread winner, although she doesn't do too badly either.
Hopefully I will be able to continue posting new Bustie pickups.
Chris
Congrats buddy. Glad to see you tied the knot. Marriage is a great thing if you both put the other first. Very difficult, but certainly doable. Everything works when that pinnacle is acheived.
We all know that day to day however that we are selfish and dont live to that expectation. We feel that we are getting the short end of the stick, stuff is unfair blah blah blah. It will happen. One simple way to keep it from happening over money is to do what some other posters have mentioned. Three accounts is a great idea. One for her, a joint account and your account.
What I have found to work the best is to take all income that comes into the relationship (your pay, her pay, tax refunds, whatever). Pay all the bills first. Whatever is left over at the end of the month we first split in two. Half goes to investments, half to "fun money".
From that fun money half, 1/3 goes to her account, 1/3 to a joint fun account for dates and vacations, and 1/3 to my account. This works very well in most cases. The problem sometimes becomes what to spend money on for unexpected expenses that both of you use. (Furniture, household items, outdoor items). I leave all of those decisions to my wife as I honestly try to take on a servant role in the marriage. By letting her make the decisions on these type of things, she takes away from my fun (coin) money. However, she also takes away from her own fun money which requires thought and sacrifice on her part.
Unless she works, you will find that your money at the end of the month for coins is less. This will be good in some ways though as your purchases will become more exciting, your collection more focused. You will also have a happy wife (financially), which is important. Happy wives generally want to make their husbands happy for making them happy.
Enough said.
John
siliconvalleycoins.com
My two cents worth: Cool it for awhile, as you get back in to collecting explain that coins are not spent money but an investment (try to keep a straight face while explaining this!). My wife and I are a couple of history nuts, she encourages my collecting.
<< <i>How do you married guys here keep your wives from blowing a gasket every time you bring home a new coin? >>
I haven't been able to stop it. I've just learned to accept it. Congratulations!
http://ProofCollection.Net
After holy matrimony wouldn't that statement above be classified as adultry
P.S. Congratulations on tying the knot!