Humor: Predictions for the later 21st century and beyond
scottgardener
Posts: 1,205 ✭
I thought I'd pass along some of my predictions for the coming years...
2009: Following the 100th anniversary of the Lincoln cent, rumors circulate, yet again, that the U.S. Mint will discontinue minting the penny.
2011: Appealing to the "Generation X" hobbyists entering into numismatics, who grew up on Magic: the Gathering and Pokemon trading cards, Collector's Universe introduces the PCGS Trading Coin Game.
2013: Due to limited popularity and demand, mintage of the Presidential and Sacagawea "golden" dollars diminishes to a trickle.
2014: Traditional "Mom and Pop" coin dealers face increasingly stiff competition from bulk discount stores NumisMax and Coin Depot.
2015: Doug Nelson wins the first PCGS Trading Coin Game World Series with his "nickel and diming" set, beating out expected favorite Duke "Saint" Gordens. In the final rounds, Gordens appeared to have the upper hand, pounding away at Nelson with a 1907 High Relief St. Gaudens and a rare PR-65 Stella, when Nelson played a combo Franklin D. Roosevelt and a 1933, removing gold from play before trampling Nelson with Buffalos.
2016: Apple announces a special arrangement with the U.S. Treasury Department in minting the iDollar. Unlike all other dollar coins in the 250 years before and few billion afterwards, this American dollar coin actually is wildly popular in the United States. Techies camp out for weeks in front of the Apple Store in New York, waiting for the first issues.
2020: The U.S. Mint opens a branch in Zhengzhou, China, outsourcing U.S. currency production. New coins bear the "Z" mint mark.
2021: The U.S. Federal Reserve issues a recall of "Z" mintmarked dimes, quarters, and half-dollars because of lead content.
2022: Coin grading service Numismatic Guaranty Corporation, or NGC, grades its first "MS-71" coin, one of the new "Capital City" series dimes. NGC president, when interviewed, describes happiness with finding the first "more than perfect" coin, though he expresses optimism that more may turn up soon. Long-established enthusiasts of the hobby criticize the grading.
2024: Plans are announced for mintage of a new U.S. dollar coin, the Coolidge "Orange" Dollar, which will depict Calvin Coolidge on the obverse and a flying eagle on the reverse, and will have an orange-colored sheen. Since the law authorizes mintage starting in 2025, but postage stamp vending machines are already running low, some 40,000 Sacagawea dollars are minted after several years of hiatus.
2027: Mintage essentially stops on the Orange Dollar due to low demand. A rumor circulates that the U.S. Mint may discontinue minting the penny.
2038: The U.S. Mint announces the Hilary Clinton "Magenta" Dollar, named for its reddish purple hue, but mintage does not begin until 2039. The Orange Dollar is brought back for one year.
2042: Mintage of the Magenta Dollar slows to a trickle. You'd think after the Morgan, the Peace, the Ike, the Anthony, and so on, the Mint would learn that dollar coins just don't seem to be going over, even though by 2042, inflation has brought the price of a first class letter postage stamp to $637.50. On a related note, a rumor circulates that the Mint might soon discontinue the penny.
2044: After coin grading service NGC certifies the first "MS-72" coin, a Carbon Nanotube $10,000 Eagle, hobbyist and ANA President Elaine Miller publishes a sharp criticism in response, advising collectors to avoid "modern" coins and stick to long-established staples of coin collecting, such as Statehood Quarters.
2075: The U.S. Mint brings back the Magenta dollar for one year, before beginning a new series depicting champions of the civil liberties for genetically and cybernetically enhanced transhuman entities, the Rainbow Dollar.
2078: The Rainbow Dollar is discontinued.
2092: Thomas Shann becomes the first President of the Planet Earth and begins building an empire. A rumor circulates that the U.S. Mint will discontinue producing pennies.
4012: The United C.A.T. Empire and the Utopian League form an alliance to defeat the Cozaliens, destroying their Matrioshka brain complex at the far side of the galaxy. A rumor again circulates that the U.S. Mint may discontinue production of the penny.
3,300,000,000: The Andromeda Galaxy and the Milky Way collide, the respective supermassive black holes at the center of each galaxy merge after having fallen towards each other. A rumor circulates that the U.S. Mint might consider discontinuing minting pennies.
5,000,000,000: The sun has expanded into a red giant, having long since engulfed and destroyed Mercury and Venus. Earth continues to orbit from a greater distance, pushed back by eons of gradual pressure from stellar winds. A rumor circulates that the U.S. Mint might consider discontinuing minting pennies.
1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000: A few red dwarf stars continue to emit light. The expansion of the universe has pushed most galaxies past an event horizon at which they are receeding away faster than the speed of light. More than 95% of the remaining known universe is composed of pennies.
2009: Following the 100th anniversary of the Lincoln cent, rumors circulate, yet again, that the U.S. Mint will discontinue minting the penny.
2011: Appealing to the "Generation X" hobbyists entering into numismatics, who grew up on Magic: the Gathering and Pokemon trading cards, Collector's Universe introduces the PCGS Trading Coin Game.
2013: Due to limited popularity and demand, mintage of the Presidential and Sacagawea "golden" dollars diminishes to a trickle.
2014: Traditional "Mom and Pop" coin dealers face increasingly stiff competition from bulk discount stores NumisMax and Coin Depot.
2015: Doug Nelson wins the first PCGS Trading Coin Game World Series with his "nickel and diming" set, beating out expected favorite Duke "Saint" Gordens. In the final rounds, Gordens appeared to have the upper hand, pounding away at Nelson with a 1907 High Relief St. Gaudens and a rare PR-65 Stella, when Nelson played a combo Franklin D. Roosevelt and a 1933, removing gold from play before trampling Nelson with Buffalos.
2016: Apple announces a special arrangement with the U.S. Treasury Department in minting the iDollar. Unlike all other dollar coins in the 250 years before and few billion afterwards, this American dollar coin actually is wildly popular in the United States. Techies camp out for weeks in front of the Apple Store in New York, waiting for the first issues.
2020: The U.S. Mint opens a branch in Zhengzhou, China, outsourcing U.S. currency production. New coins bear the "Z" mint mark.
2021: The U.S. Federal Reserve issues a recall of "Z" mintmarked dimes, quarters, and half-dollars because of lead content.
2022: Coin grading service Numismatic Guaranty Corporation, or NGC, grades its first "MS-71" coin, one of the new "Capital City" series dimes. NGC president, when interviewed, describes happiness with finding the first "more than perfect" coin, though he expresses optimism that more may turn up soon. Long-established enthusiasts of the hobby criticize the grading.
2024: Plans are announced for mintage of a new U.S. dollar coin, the Coolidge "Orange" Dollar, which will depict Calvin Coolidge on the obverse and a flying eagle on the reverse, and will have an orange-colored sheen. Since the law authorizes mintage starting in 2025, but postage stamp vending machines are already running low, some 40,000 Sacagawea dollars are minted after several years of hiatus.
2027: Mintage essentially stops on the Orange Dollar due to low demand. A rumor circulates that the U.S. Mint may discontinue minting the penny.
2038: The U.S. Mint announces the Hilary Clinton "Magenta" Dollar, named for its reddish purple hue, but mintage does not begin until 2039. The Orange Dollar is brought back for one year.
2042: Mintage of the Magenta Dollar slows to a trickle. You'd think after the Morgan, the Peace, the Ike, the Anthony, and so on, the Mint would learn that dollar coins just don't seem to be going over, even though by 2042, inflation has brought the price of a first class letter postage stamp to $637.50. On a related note, a rumor circulates that the Mint might soon discontinue the penny.
2044: After coin grading service NGC certifies the first "MS-72" coin, a Carbon Nanotube $10,000 Eagle, hobbyist and ANA President Elaine Miller publishes a sharp criticism in response, advising collectors to avoid "modern" coins and stick to long-established staples of coin collecting, such as Statehood Quarters.
2075: The U.S. Mint brings back the Magenta dollar for one year, before beginning a new series depicting champions of the civil liberties for genetically and cybernetically enhanced transhuman entities, the Rainbow Dollar.
2078: The Rainbow Dollar is discontinued.
2092: Thomas Shann becomes the first President of the Planet Earth and begins building an empire. A rumor circulates that the U.S. Mint will discontinue producing pennies.
4012: The United C.A.T. Empire and the Utopian League form an alliance to defeat the Cozaliens, destroying their Matrioshka brain complex at the far side of the galaxy. A rumor again circulates that the U.S. Mint may discontinue production of the penny.
3,300,000,000: The Andromeda Galaxy and the Milky Way collide, the respective supermassive black holes at the center of each galaxy merge after having fallen towards each other. A rumor circulates that the U.S. Mint might consider discontinuing minting pennies.
5,000,000,000: The sun has expanded into a red giant, having long since engulfed and destroyed Mercury and Venus. Earth continues to orbit from a greater distance, pushed back by eons of gradual pressure from stellar winds. A rumor circulates that the U.S. Mint might consider discontinuing minting pennies.
1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000: A few red dwarf stars continue to emit light. The expansion of the universe has pushed most galaxies past an event horizon at which they are receeding away faster than the speed of light. More than 95% of the remaining known universe is composed of pennies.
Improperly Cleaned, Our passion for numismatics is Genuine! Now featuring correct spelling.
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<< <i>2044: After coin grading service NGC certifies the first "MS-72" coin, a Carbon Nanotube $10,000 Eagle, hobbyist and ANA President Elaine Miller publishes a sharp criticism in response, advising collectors to avoid "modern" coins and stick to long-established staples of coin collecting, such as Statehood Quarters.
>>
Camelot
<< <i>and by the way you forgot the rumor about the mint discontinueing the penny