LOL - Update Part II

Stone193

It's lunchtime and I'm reading this forum in my office and I overhear one of my assistants in the breakroom....

1st ssistant: "We're going to Hawaii over the spring-break"

2nd assistant: "Wow!!! That's really great...we're just hangin' in San Antonio."

1st assistant: "I'm gonna need a passport - do you know how much they cost?"

tennesseebanker

Do you only hire Blonde assistants ?
Classic Stoney !

lawnmowerman

<< <i>1st assistant: "I'm gonna need a passport - do you know how much they cost?" >>



Public education at its finest

*No offense to any teachers, students or janitors

cohocorp

Gonblott

"Will I need me ID?"




LOL

stevek

Let me guess - the assistant once tried out for the game show Jeopardy, and didn't make the cut. LOL

yankeeno7

That is hilarious! Tell her that Oklahoma customs is tough, see if she falls for it!

jamesgotpoorman

Ya don't?

stevek

And the assistant really should know better because the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor in Hawaii during the Revolutionary War.

stown

Yeah but is she hot?

theczar

One day at lunch a bunch of us were sitting around in our cubes throwing out trivia questions. I threw out "there are four state capitals with letter "u" in their name twice".

Someone says Honolulu, someone else says Columbus another says Augusta and while they were thinking of the last one......

The hottest woman who I ever worked with in my 30 years of employment was not playing but overheard us from a few cubes down and says B-I-R-M-I-N-G-H-A-M!!!

I didn't know where to start. In addition to wondering how the folks in Alabama like their capital being moved, I also thought how could a woman this gorgeous be so stupid.

(Juneau was the fourth)

Southerncards

you should ask that assistant if she would sneak some Hawaiian cigars back for ya!

stevek

<< <i>One day at lunch a bunch of us were sitting around in our cubes throwing out trivia questions. I threw out "there are four state capitals with letter "u" in their name twice".

Someone says Honolulu, someone else says Columbus another says Augusta and while they were thinking of the last one......

The hottest woman who I ever worked with in my 30 years of employment was not playing but overheard us from a few cubes down and says B-I-R-M-I-N-G-H-A-M!!!

I didn't know where to start. In addition to wondering how the folks in Alabama like their capital being moved, I also thought how could a woman this gorgeous be so stupid.

(Juneau was the fourth) >>



You're being very unfair to this woman! If it was spelled Burminghaum and if it was the state capital, then she would have been correct! And then you would have been wrong because the correct answer would have been five, not four...so there!!!



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JVette

You only need the passport if you fly to Hawaii.
You can avoid the hassle if you drive there.

- Jack

Stone193

OK - guys - here's part II of the conversation - now ya can't make this kind of stuff up!

Assistant 2: "I don't think ya need a passport for Hawaii?"

Receptionist: "No, it's like Canada...they just let you in...ya need a passport to go to Puerto Rico."



Now, I'm fallin' off my chair!

RedRomad275

This just reinforces my faith in the public school system. Classic

Red

Bosox1976

We used to hassle interns in the food industry with requests like...

"This is a very important party, so we need you to polish these ice cubes..."

After giving them and upside down pan - "Can you bring this steam up to function room b? They need it quickly."

Always good for a giggle.

onlyanumber

I once had a kid--okay, he was a college grad just starting out in telecom, dig through a work van for a can of dialtone. After an hour or so, he came back into the phone room with a can of sealant.

kcballboy

I started framing houses for a guy who apparently thought it was my first job doing so (I had about 2 summers of experience). Anyways, he tells me on the first day to go to the lumber yard and get a board stretcher and, knowing full well what was going on, I went home and watched some TV and took a nap.

I came back after about 3 hours and he asked me if I found one. I played along and told him that I had to check about 4 places because everyone kept saying they were out.

It wasn't until the end of that summer when he was busting my chops for about the 10th time that I told him what really happened. I doubt if he believed me but in the end, I was the one who got a pretty sweet nap on his time.

Alfonz24

How much do elevator passes cost? I remember the upperclassmen tried to sell me one the first day of my freshman year.

yankeeno7

In Radiology school, the big joke was to tell the freshmen to go to central supply and get us sterile fallopian tubes (they are part of the female anatomy)...the people working down there always got a kick out of us sending them

envoy98

That is funny.

Last week at bowling my wife and sister in-law (mixed doubles league) were reading some gossip mag and I noticed they had a picture of Denise Richards and it said she was starring in a movie called "Blonde and Blonder". I promptly quipped, "Oh, they're remaking Dumb and Dumber huh?"

They both just looked at me and said said "Wha?"

...they are both blonde.

Then the lady from the other team overhead me as I was explaining my joke to them, which by the way I found quite funny. She says "When we were in Key West last week my girlfriend and I were laying on the beach when this older couple came up and asked my friend if she would mind taking their picture. Her reply: Sure, let me go get my camera"

Ya gotta love it!

-Josh

Jdurg

At work (an office environment) we typically have a lot of people doing a lot of work and on occassion they'll say something that is so blatantly obvious that it makes your head hurt just thinking about it. As a result, I went into Photoshop and put together a "Captain Obvious" award. It's a simple picture of Superman with the 'S' replaced by an 'O' and a text bubble stating "I'm wearing a cape". Whomever says the most foolishly obvious thing each month gets the award made out to them with their obvious quote printed on the award. This sheet then gets hung outside their office for all to see.

Some of the good ones we've had are;

"The faster I go the faster it gets done."
"No carbs? I wonder how much sugar is in that thing."
"We'll just eat through our lunch hour."
"I used to work there, before I worked here."

stevek

Admittedly, I confess to being one of these "LOL" myself.

My first "real" job out of college was a very good sales position for an elite printing machine manufacturer. I was very happy to get this job.

Well, I knew nothing about the industry terminology and slang so after training for 60 days, I was "released" into my territory and quickly told not to call on the "house accounts" without any explanation - Well how the f* was I to know what a "house account" meant, unless it meant the obvious.

So anyway, I'm driving by this one "house account" and it's this huge chemical plant and I say to myself, "Wait a f*ing minute, this ain't no guy working out of his house!" LOL - I just figured that they didn't want me calling on "house" accounts because people working out of their houses may not really be good prospects for new equipment. So I thought "house account" meant people working out of their house! LOL

Frankly, I got a little p*ssed off that I was given a territory and not allowed to call on some of the major prospects - it took me awhile but after about a year of "bugging" the boss...all of the house accounts in my territory were turned over to me.




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