Into the Future
WoodenJefferson
Posts: 6,491 ✭✭✭✭
WoodenJefferson
Posts: 6,491 ✭✭✭✭
WoodenJefferson
Posts: 6,491 ✭✭✭✭
Comments
and the "1.3 billion credits" thing, how sad but how true.
Too many positive BST transactions with too many members to list.
Dateline:
December 4, 2199
Cherrypickers 5th Edition Finally Issued (SATIRE - - Not to be taken seriously)
After having taken pre-orders for 189 years, the publishers have finally been able to publish the 5th Edition of the famous Cherrypickers' Guide. Most of the delays this time around were no fault of the publishers, but resulted from the huge number of varieties included in the book. Publisher I. M. Joking said, "We had to issue the 5th Edition in twenty volumes this time. The sheer number of varieties of state quarters resulted in 6 volumes devoted to just state quarters, although the series ended in 2008. Once we got the Wisconsin extra leaves, we got the extra trees on Minnesota, then it seemed every state quarter had at least 50 varieties. Then the Presidential coins were issued, and we got varieties of facial expressions, including smirks (the George W. Bush dollar being famous for these), grins (the President Carter dollar has over 100 different grins), grimaces (the President Nixon dollar has over 200 different grimaces), strange smiles (no one knows what President Bill Clinton was doing when his dollar coin design was finalized, angry stares (it is believed President Hillary Clinton was looking at her husband), and the complete "falling" sequence for President Gerald Ford (which has become a popular set of varieties). Then we got the First Ladies coins, and the variations of hairstyles, lipstick, and nail length and colors ran into the thousands. After that, the Mint went to the First Pets series, and unfortunately was unaware of the engravers inside joke of creating "piles" near the First Pets when they were shown outdoors. The Mint then created the "Honest Politicians" series but couldn't find anyone to put on the coins. The effort to eliminate the Lincoln cent failed in 2009, and it wasn't until 2109 that the cent was eliminated. By then it really wasn't worth crap. Seriously. Now that crap is being used for fuel, crap is worth 10 times what common cents are worth. So there were another 103 years worth of Lincoln cent varieties, resulting in 5 volumes of the Guide being devoted to Lincoln cents. In 2059 the Bill Clinton two cent piece was created, because President Clinton always wanted to get his two cents in. In 2060 the Hillary Clinton twenty cent piece was created, because Mrs. Clinton believed her contributions were 10 times as important as her husband's. Both denominations were discontinued in 2075, but contributed several varieties, including some that should have remain unnamed. Jefferson nickels were made until 2138, for 200 years, until the design of the nickel was changed to "The Virginian" from the 1960's television show. Legislators from Virginia had kept the nickel design hostage for over 100 years until they were fooled by this ruse. The Virginian nickel was made for only two years, then the denomination was discontinued. The dime denomination was discontinued when it was realized that fewer people collected them than the half dimes last made in 1873. We could only find ten half dime collectors in the country and only 8 Roosevelt dime collectors. Since the Mint wasn't making any profit on only 8 collectors, they quickly discontinued the denomination in 2015. Kennedy half dollars continue to be made despite being collected only by two guys named "Russ" and "Marty". And despite many commentaries on the artistic merit of the Sacagawea dollar design, it was discontinued in 2100. All of these coins had numerous varieties resulting in this 18 volume Cherrypickers' Guide. Forklift is optional at a slight additional cost. The Cherrypickers' Guide is not yet available in DVD, but place your order now for delivery soon."
The previous article is SATIRE - - Not to be taken seriously.
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