Options
Auburn Kicker Attempts Suicide after he misses 5 field goals vs No. 7 LSU
GoBravesGo
Posts: 607 ✭
in Sports Talk
Auburn Kicker Attempts Suicide after he misses 5 field goals vs No. 7 LSU
BY CHRISTA TURNER
Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer
BATON ROUGE, La. - Auburn place-kicker John Vaughn collapsed to the ground after watching the worst night of his career unfold.
Vaughn missed five field goals, including a 39-yarder Auburn needed to force another overtime with LSU.
Vaughn's attempt into a brisk and swirling 15 mph wind at Tiger Stadium clanged off the left upright, sending waves of joy through a school-record crowd of 92,646 as seventh-ranked LSU hung on for a 20-17 overtime win over Auburn on Saturday night.
Just moments after the teams return to Alabama, it was reported today that John Vaughn, field goal kicker for the Auburn Tigers, tried to commit suicide by hanging himself after the loss to LSU Saturday night. His attempt was unsuccessful due to his inability to kick the stool out from under his feet.
BY CHRISTA TURNER
Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer
BATON ROUGE, La. - Auburn place-kicker John Vaughn collapsed to the ground after watching the worst night of his career unfold.
Vaughn missed five field goals, including a 39-yarder Auburn needed to force another overtime with LSU.
Vaughn's attempt into a brisk and swirling 15 mph wind at Tiger Stadium clanged off the left upright, sending waves of joy through a school-record crowd of 92,646 as seventh-ranked LSU hung on for a 20-17 overtime win over Auburn on Saturday night.
Just moments after the teams return to Alabama, it was reported today that John Vaughn, field goal kicker for the Auburn Tigers, tried to commit suicide by hanging himself after the loss to LSU Saturday night. His attempt was unsuccessful due to his inability to kick the stool out from under his feet.
0
Comments
<<< His attempt was unsuccessful due to his inability to kick the stool out from under his feet. >>>
...I guess the guy just can't kick.
<< <i>honestly that is not funny at all. And if you had a family member die of suicide...you sure as hell would not think that is funny. >>
A FSU fan complaining about tastelessness? Ironic, no?
<< <i>
<< <i>honestly that is not funny at all. And if you had a family member die of suicide...you sure as hell would not think that is funny. >>
A FSU fan complaining about tastelessness? Ironic, no? >>
Truely the definition of irony!!
(I bet that "family member" did it because they could not bear to be related to such an obnoxious loud-mouth ass like skippy2louise.)
<< <i>And if you had a family member die of suicide...you sure as hell would not think that is funny. >>
I have and that joke is funny.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide" the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off???"
"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman, fair of face and long of leg is standing on the G.W. Bridge
preparing to jump. "Life is no good to me!", she thinks and steels herself
for the rush of air as she plummets to her doom.
Just then, a merchant-marine shows up, screeches to a halt and hops out of
his car. "What are you doing?", he asks. She responds by saying, "Life is
awful - I'm going to end it all!"
With a look of sincerest pity, the marine says, "Listen, don't jump. I'm
about to be shipped out to the Mediteranean. Why don't you come along with
me. I'll stow you away on the ship, and when we get to the other side of
the ocean, I'll give you a little money to get started - you can start a
whole new life! All I ask in return is gratuitous sex on the trip over."
The woman considers this, thinking "A new life! - for a little sex?" Not
only would she get a new life out of the deal, but the marine IS kinda
handsome - sex won't be so bad at all.
"OK", she agreed. And with that, the marine took her to the ship and they
left port - she, stowed-away under a lifeboat.
Every day, the marine would bring her food and water and she would perform
the gratuitous sex. Everything was great. But about 10 days into the
journey across the sea, the ship's captain was walking the deck when he
heard a noise from under the lifeboat. Looking under it, he found the
beautiful woman.
"What are you doing here?", asked the captain.
"I'm sorry sir," she cried, "I'm a stow-away traveling to Europe to start a
new life. I didn't mean to make a fool of you by hiding abord your ship."
"Me?" the captain asked. "What about you?"
"What do you mean?" she asked.
To which the captain said, "This is the Staten Island Ferry."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think this makes me a pile of crap.
<< <i>suicide is a joke....wtf is wrong with you people? >>
get a load of the FSU fan complaining about tastelessness? as Axtell has pointed out several times, it is truly most Ironic!
<< <i>Anyone that would joke about suicide, and especially anyone who has had a relative who commited suicide and finds joking about suicide funny is a piece of crap. >>
euthanasia would be appropriate in your case.. that would be humorous..
-Gotta love the humor