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zef204
Posts: 4,742 ✭✭
I think I found the "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer." Anyone remember this skit? I saw this, thought of that and wanted to pass it on...
That was a good skit. Not quite as good as Will Ferrell doing Harry Caray but I'm not a hot dog.
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looks exactly like him haha.
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Stingray
Shane
"I'm just a simple caveman. I'm scared of your world. When I get on an airplane, I don't know if I'm being eaten by a giant flying metal monster."
Lee
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wasn't mike newlin the beastmaster?
julen
RIP GURU
Mike Newlin used to be on a local sports talk radio show in Houston several years ago. He would always try to come off as some type of sports intellectual by always using a bunch of big, complicated words, but a lot of the times it was clear that he didn't truly understand the meaning of those words nor could he pronounce them correctly. After a while, I just couldn't stand listening to him.
One in the same?
Stingray
hilarious.. heh..
The funniest skit in my opinion has to be with Adam Sandler as Canteen Boy and Alec Baldwin as the pedophile scout master. Talk about sick, but that's one skit I constantly bust a gut everytime I see it. Don't know how they kept a straight face doing that skit.
Scout Master: … and hanging on the car door… was a bloody HOOK!
Boy scouts #1 to #3: AAH!
Boy scout #1: Hey, I got a cool story mister Armstrong, but I can’t tell it until Canteen Boy gets back.
Scout Master: Where is Canteen Boy?
Boy scout #2: He’s right over there!
[ Camera switches to Canteen Boy, a few feet away from fire camp, staring at a wooden owl ]
Boy scout #3: Canteen Boy come over here!
Canteen Boy: Hang on a second fell- fellows, I got a bit of a situation here!
Boy scout #2: You can relax Canteen Boy that thing is made of wood.
Canteen Boy: [ Touches the owl ] So it is. [ Canteen Boy goes sit at the fire camp ] Good eye!
Boy scout #1: Hey Canteen Boy, I got a really scary ghost story! Once upon a time there was a moron, who always had a stupid canteen wrapped around his neck!
Canteen Boy: Hey, I think I’ve heard this tale before
Boy scout #1:… it was a dark and stormy night, and this moron went into the woods, and a huge bear came up and ripped his head off! – Just ‘cause he looked so stupid! – THE END! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Canteen Boy: Hey you wanna see something really scary? Look in the mirror! Mm-mm!
Boy scout #1: Ha-ha SHUT up Canteen Boy!
Canteen Boy: Hey you shut up!
Boy scout #1: What was that?
Canteen Boy: Nothing.
Scout Master: All right guys! Lay off Canteen Boy, You can hike on back to your tents and hit the hay! Come on! Let’s go! Let’s go! [ Boy scouts are leaving, disappointed, Scout Master holds Canteen Boy’s leg ] Not you Canteen Boy! I wanted to talk to you about something. I see you take a lot of ribbing from the other scouters.
Canteen Boy: Goes with the territory mister Armstrong – it’s sticks and stones!
Scout Master: [ Putting his arm around Canteen Boy’s shoulder ] Attaboy!.. [ Looking at Canteen Boy with lust in his eye ] You know, it seems like the moment you get out of the city, all the problems sort of, fade away… [ Scout Master feels Canteen Boy’s cheek with his nose ] I’m sorry Canteen Boy my - my beard is scratchy isn’t it?
Canteen Boy: [ Very uncomfortable with the situation ] No harm done!
Scout Master: [ Continues to feel Canteen Boy’s cheek ] My beard is scratchy Canteen Boy but it gives good back rubs…
Canteen Boy: Yeah um, yeah I’ll take a rain check on that mister Armstrong.
Scout Master: [ Tears his shirt apart ] Oops! My shirt fell off!
Canteen Boy: That’s a quick fix mister Armstrong just put it back on!
Scout Master: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That’s great Canteen Boy! Hey [Holds Canteen Boy back again, puts an hand on his leg and rubs it] Do you like wine?
Canteen Boy: Actually I prefer pure tap water um, right out of the ol' canteen right here!
Scout Master: I’m going to get us a little…. wine…. [ Scout Master leaves ]
Canteen Boy: All right a little drop will not kill me I guess…
[ Canteen Boy hears a howl in the forest ]
Canteen Boy: Ooo-Ooo to you! Hey owl! if you’re so wise why don’t you go to sleep it’s the middle of the night! [ Canteen Boy is amused and proud of his remark. ]
[ Scout Master comes back, wearing a bath robe and holding two glasses of wine. Sits besides Canteen Boy ]
Scout Master: Ahhh… Here’s to the Great Outdoors! [ Scout Master intentionally spills wine over Canteen Boy’s sleeping bag ] Oops! Was that your sleeping bag? [ Canteen Boy’s get out of his wet sleeping bag ] You’d better share mine.. It’s Extra Large!
Canteen Boy: [ Naive about the invitation ] Sure why not, until mine dries off, it won’t take long it’s made of Gore-Tex.
Scout Master: Canteen Boy, would you um.. rub some bug repellent on my chest?
Canteen Boy: It’s February mister Armstrong I think all the bugs went down south to hibernate, I’ll be honest with you!
Scout Master: Humor me Canteen Boy!
[ Canteen Boy nervously applies lotion on Scout Master’s chest for a few seconds ]
Canteen Boy: There you go! No more bugs!
Scout Master: I have to apologize for my hairy chest, it can be a little scratchy…
Canteen Boy: Yeah.. my mom might like it as she’s a big Tom Selleck fan!
Scout Master: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! You’re very funny Canteen Boy! [ Reaches out and holds Canteen Boy in his arms ] Make me laugh some more!
Canteen Boy: Actually, I left my joke book over in the tent, how about I go get it?
Scout Master: That’s okay Canteen Boy let’s just, lie here and… look at the stars…. [ Scout Master puts his mouth on Canteen Boy’s cheek and neck ] Do you know um… [ Takes Canteen Boy’s finger and suck it ] do you know how.. how to play… "Truth or Dare"…Canteen Boy?
Canteen Boy: Um, refresh me!
Scout Master: You choose between telling a secret… or doing a Dare…
Canteen Boy: All right: "Dare."
[ Scout Master whispers something inaudible at Canteen Boy’s ear ]
Canteen Boy : [ Looking scared ] You know what mister Armstrong, let’s start off with the Truth!
Scout Master: I’ll tell you a Truth canteen Boy! You know what I hate? Underpants!
[ Scout Masters removes his underpants underneath his sleeping bag ]
Canteen Boy: Gee, I think if you worry about bugs, underpants would be your last line of defense!
Scout Master: [ Throwing his underpants away ] Problem solved!
Canteen Boy: Your problem’s solved but I think my problem’s just beginning! [ Scout Master forces Canteen Boy into spoon like position ] Aahhh What the hell is that?
Scout Master: I don’t know, it must have been a bed bug.
Canteen Boy: That was pretty big for a bed bug!
Scout Master: Okay it wasn’t a bed bug!
Canteen Boy: Let’s go back to saying it was a bed bug! Hey you know what, the park ranger just called! He said: "one camper per sleeping bag!" Sorry! Adios Amigos! [ Canteen Boy tries to leave sleeping bag, Scout Master holds him back ]
Scout Master: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! God you make me laugh Canteen Boy!
[ Scout Masters holds Canteen Boy and falls asleep – the morning after…]
Scout Master: [ Wakes up ] I’m sorry Canteen Boy, I fell asleep before anything happened.
Canteen Boy: No harm done!
Scout Master: Well who’s hungry? I’m gonna go make us a power breakfast! [ Scout Master leaves ]
Canteen Boy: Okay…[ Canteen Boy gets up, whistles to summon snakes and runs away ]
Scout Master: [ Scout Master returns ] Canteen Boy have you ever had a Mimosa? Canteen Boy? [ Snakes "charge" at Scout Master from various location ] Ha! Ha! Ha!.. Canteen Boy you rascal!"
[ Fade out ]
Dude- sorta like listening to Clyde Frazier do Knick games. "Undoubtly the defense was exceptionally perturbed by Stephon's swishin' and dishin' "
That card is amazing.
Don't blow this for us, Gene!
Trebek: This is the Sound a dog makes.
(Silence from the contestants)
Trebek: People, come one. We would have accepted Woof, Arf or Ruff.
Connery: Ahh, Ruff. Thats the way your mother likes it.
The BOC cowbell is my favorite, the Neil Diamond unplugged was great also (anyone know where I can download that one?), and how about the one with Colonel Angus?
Edit to add - Robert DeNiro doing a press conference on suspected terrorists, and Eddie Murphy singing reggae to the VFW.
I think we are missing some of the greats. There were a few Celebrity Jeopardys that were a riot.
Sean Connery: "I'll take The Rapists for $600"
Trabek(Ferrell): "That's 'THERAPISTS' for 600."
The gets me all the time.
Also the Harry Caray "Year in Review"...Hey Norm...
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<< <i>There were a few Celebrity Jeopardys that were a riot. >>
Connery: "I'll take Swords for $600."
Trebek: "That's 'S' WORDS."
As long as we're talking SNL skits on a sports board, how about...
-Wayne Gretzky and Mike Myers playing hockey in a Wayne's World "dream" sketch.
-Michael Jordan on Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smally.
-Charles Barkley beating up "Barney".
-George Steinbrenner lamenting how cruel and heartless it is to fire someone. (From the Quickie Mart sketch.)
-The hockey brawl/beer commercial parody with Joe Piscapo and Robin Williams.
-Claudine Longet ski tournament where every skier "gets shot by Claudine Longet".
And the best of all-
Jan Hooks- "Listen, we'll talk quietly so we don't disturb you."
Joe Montana- "That's okay. I'll be in my bedroom masterbating."
I was a big fan of Belushi and Akroyd.
mike
I was young when it started out, but I have a few Tapes and DVDs from the good ol' days. Todays show doesn't hold a candle to those shows. All those guys Belushi, Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Gilda Rattner, Andy Kaufman and then Eddie Murphy inthe early 80's. Some of my favorite old school skits are Eddie's. James Brown in the hot tub, Mr Robinson's neighborhood, Buckwheat... Good stuff. The best part of SNL is it has been a breeding ground for some great films. From Belushi and Aykroyd all the way to Farley and Sandler, the SNL Alum have made some very funny movies.
On a side note...I swear to god that Kevin Nealan is one of my company's web production team. This guy looks more italian, but his stature, dress, voice and hair is uncanny. I enjoy when he insults me like Nick Burns, The Computer Guy, that I know nothing about computers(Jimmy Fallon cracked me up too...sometimes). The funny thing is even though he insults my computer knowledge, with out guys like me selling the products that make networks run, guys like him would be out of a job. OK end of rant
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Also love any of the Tim Meadows "Ladies Man" skits. I can just picture him lisping "Yeah, well that'th jutht dithguthting" when presented with something particularly deviant.
Sean Connery: I pose a conundrum to you, a riddle if you will.
Alex Trebeck: I don't want to hear it.
Sean Connery: What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold. One's a sick duck... I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore.
*****
Alex Trebek: Let's see your answer.. [ screen reads "Buck" ] Oh, I'm sorry.. that must be your wager. A Buck. And you answer is.. [ screen reads "Futter" ] Futter. Buck Futter, I don't get it.
Sean Connery: Ohhhh.. I think you do, Trebek. I think you do, indeed!
****
the Penis Mightier (The Pen is Mightier)
Whore Semen (Famous Horsemen)
Anal Bumcover (An Album Cover)
The Rapists (Therapists)
Dodgers collection scans | Brett Butler registry | 1978 Dodgers - straight 9s, homie
Famous Titties(Famous Titles)
And then he said "Shnogged."
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Or The Coneheads on Family Feud. "Name something people like to bite?"
Link
<< <i>I think I found the "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer." Anyone remember this skit? I saw this, thought of that and wanted to pass it on...
That was a good skit. Not quite as good as Will Ferrell doing Harry Caray but I'm not a hot dog. >>
Hey, isn't this Johnny Damon's dad?
That's "An album cover"
I always thought the years with Billy Crystal, Christopher Guest, Martin Short and Michael McKean were the most consistenly funny and clever due to their versatility.
Stingray
Im almost positive I still have that on tape from when it first aired. Like I said above, those couple of years in the early 80's had some of the best shows ever.
SNL Jeopardy
Photos That Were Used On Baseball Cards
<< <i>Link to Jeopardy skits >>
Awesome, thanks now I can show my wife so she understands why I was laughing so much.
Trebek- Thats Apetit Dejuner
One of my favorites: "The Princess and the Homeboy (G-dog)" with Teri Hatcher and Tim Meadows, circa 1995. Anyone remember it?
"I spent 5 years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover and failing to do so is my greatest regret."
Now read it with a Sean Connery accent.
You really did huh. Good Stuff
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