Yanks Get Spanked, Gemmy's Hand Says No Thanks
stown
Posts: 11,321 ✭✭✭
in Sports Talk
Dateline: Some city in Connecticut
After watching his Yanks get clobbered by the Sox 17-1, Gemmy turned to his only friend for counseling. Unfortunately, he forgot that he inadvertently injured his playing partner when he attempted to punch a hole in his wall after falling behind 8-0 in the second. The hand was no match for the mighty dry-wall material and shattered on impact. When Gemmy, a born right-hander, turned to the second in command, he realized that he was not ambidextrous and any attempts were futile.
He then went into his parents' room to seek reassurance that everything in life would be OK. With this being a regular season game, Gemmy had serious concerns that the Yanks would be able to recover from this lopsided loss. Just the other night, Gemmy was rejoicing a "revenge game" only to see his Yanks get taken to the woodshed the following night. Little Gemmy crawled into his father's lap and with tears rolling down his cheeks, he asked his Daddy to read a mother goose book to help him sleep.
His dad looked at Gemmy straight into the eye and said, "Son, we don't even live in NYC much less NY State. We live in Connecticut and do not have a major league baseball team. Heck, just nine years ago, you only wore Mets' gear from their World Series win. Once the Yankees had the largest payroll in the MLB and won a championship, you cut ties with the Mets and became a Yanks fan. Don't you remember that, son?"
Gemmy tried hard to recall days gone by but it couldn't be true. "You lie!" yelled Gemmy "That's impossible! I have been a Yankees fan my entire life. I have never and will never cheer for another team other than my beloved Yankees."
"Sure you are, son... Sure you are..."
After reading Humpty-Dumpty and putting his son down to sleep, Gemmy's father took the "Let's Go Mets Go!" towel from underneath his bed, turned on the night light, and shut the door.
After watching his Yanks get clobbered by the Sox 17-1, Gemmy turned to his only friend for counseling. Unfortunately, he forgot that he inadvertently injured his playing partner when he attempted to punch a hole in his wall after falling behind 8-0 in the second. The hand was no match for the mighty dry-wall material and shattered on impact. When Gemmy, a born right-hander, turned to the second in command, he realized that he was not ambidextrous and any attempts were futile.
He then went into his parents' room to seek reassurance that everything in life would be OK. With this being a regular season game, Gemmy had serious concerns that the Yanks would be able to recover from this lopsided loss. Just the other night, Gemmy was rejoicing a "revenge game" only to see his Yanks get taken to the woodshed the following night. Little Gemmy crawled into his father's lap and with tears rolling down his cheeks, he asked his Daddy to read a mother goose book to help him sleep.
His dad looked at Gemmy straight into the eye and said, "Son, we don't even live in NYC much less NY State. We live in Connecticut and do not have a major league baseball team. Heck, just nine years ago, you only wore Mets' gear from their World Series win. Once the Yankees had the largest payroll in the MLB and won a championship, you cut ties with the Mets and became a Yanks fan. Don't you remember that, son?"
Gemmy tried hard to recall days gone by but it couldn't be true. "You lie!" yelled Gemmy "That's impossible! I have been a Yankees fan my entire life. I have never and will never cheer for another team other than my beloved Yankees."
"Sure you are, son... Sure you are..."
After reading Humpty-Dumpty and putting his son down to sleep, Gemmy's father took the "Let's Go Mets Go!" towel from underneath his bed, turned on the night light, and shut the door.
So basically my kid won't be able to go to college, but at least I'll have a set where the three most expensive cards are of a player I despise ~ CDsNuts
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Comments
Stowny,
First of all I am left-handed. Secondly, I am honored that you spent an entire Saturday morning writing an essay about me. I am sure it took you that long because you had to look up every big word in the dictionary.
17-1.. That shouldn't happen when one's payroll is $84,801,692 higher.
You did forget one part, though..the part about Spammy sucking his thumb so he can fall asleep wrapped in his mets towel.