A conversation with my wife from the other day

ccrdragon

Her - Honey, when we you be done with the coins that you are collecting?
Me - For tonight or did you mean something else?
Her - when will your sets be finished?
Me - (thinking OMG - she actually has started to care about the coins?!?!?!?!?!) well, for this set (pointing out the SA Coppers) ....
Her - No, that's not what I meant, I meant, when will you be finished collecting COINS????

I looked her straight in the eye, and said, Dear, there are several thousand different types of coins in the world that I have never even looked at, and as long as that is the case, I guess that I will NEVER be done. She just glared at me and left the office.

Am I the only person who has this sentiment about coins? Am I sick? Is there a cure for this (other than getting all of those coins that I have never seen or felt or owned or....)???

I will say this about my wife - I love her, I will always love her and she understands that we need seperate hobbies, she doesn't understand why I would collect COINS. Her view of coins is that they are something to spend to obtain other items (like plants and roses and other nice pretty things that she can grow in her gardens).

Does anybody else here have a spouse who thinks this way about thier coins?
Does anybody have a spouse that collects coins and enjoys the hobby as much as they do?

MacCrimmon

Dear Cecil,

How many pairs of shoes does your wife own? Use a sinking fund analysis on 10 pairs of shoes (averaged at $60 per pair - on sale, no less) per year for 50 years at 8%.

Explain to her that she only has two feet, one left and one right. The eyes, OTOH (coins) are an infinite data device....

BTW, that's $344,262.09 in shoe wastage over 50 years.... Will Sothebys auction those shoes for even half that amount after 50 years? I think not, unless your wife is the next MM!

The above scenario is FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.....DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!

boz

I don't have quite the problem you have. My girl also thinks they are a huge waste, but as long as the bills are paid, I don't care. She is free to move on anytime time she wishes, as we are not married, and she contributes next to nothing. But she talks of marriage incessantly.



I continue to resist

tbirde56

You don't have the problem, she does. That is, as long as you're spending responsibly and she's able to spend the same amount of money oin what she wants. Far it be it from me, or any man, to try to perceive any particular woman's chain of reasoning and the emotions involved but counseling or a long 'talk' may forestall problems over the future of any relationship.
Or you can just tell her you're giving up your collecting and have decided you're a very lucky guy and will spend all that useless money gambling to make you both very rich. And if that doesn't work, with what's left you can drink your miseries away!
Of course, none of this will be at all amusing to her.
Bottom line: she is JEALOUS of the time and money you spend on the coins.
Been there, done that, divorced, remarried, better now.
Coin collecting is a compulsion that can't be divorced. Deal with it.

theboz11

Mine helps me find interesting and beautiful coins on ebay and shows, Rarely do we disagree on a coin or medal.

MSD61

My wife is pretty supportive of my collecting. She too helps me select coins and as a matter of fact it was my wife that urged me to purchase a 1901 Maundy set. She really likes interesting and beautiful not the same old stuff. However, she does rib me from time to time saying "The world is not made of coins you do have other interests." and I do. I am also an antique nut mostly small personal items, like keys, cameras, eyeglasses, etc. But this time of year is not antique friendly. Most if not all are closed until spring which appears to be a while off yet. I also enjoy gardening and painting (on canvas).

But she has never came across to me that I pay more attention to my collecting than her. I have a few friends into collecting and a couple of their wives feel it's some type if phase and are waiting for them to "grow out of it."

Luvdawgs

My husband loves my coin hobby. He encourages me to buy coins that I like when we can fit them into the budget. I even have a few sets I'm working on for him.
He used to collect coins as a child and teen, of which we still have in the old Whitman folders. He's more into Lightside coins, but I'm ever so slowly converting him to the Dark!

I do hope your wife becomes more understanding about your hobby, Cecil.

ajaan

My wife is very encouraging with my collecting. She has never questioned coin I bought. She even tells me to buy more coins at times. She even attends coin shows with me. I just keep telling her about the profit I make when I sell a coin. Of course, she never hears about the losses.

SYRACUSIAN

I think Brad got it right. There is some jealousy involved, mainly of the time spent on coins, shows, the internet,rather than the money, as long as nothing important is missing. I' m not married but I have encountered this sort of difficulties with my ex-girlfriend. When she realized that there was nothing she could do to cure me, she became interested in them, so I had a lot of stuff to talk to her about, and she ended up liking them. But deep inside, she was and still is, totally indifferent,there's nothing to brag about to their girlfriends [-my husband flies helicopters and goes bungee jumping,- mine collects coins! ] .Unless she's someone like Susan, with the hobby within her, women are just silently supportive,indifferent or even hostile to it.

lordmarcovan

<< <i>Bottom line: she is JEALOUS of the time and money you spend on the coins.
Been there, done that, divorced, remarried, better now. >>



Me too.

AuldFartte

Me wonderful wife is incredibly supportive of my coin collecting endeavours. She would rather I remain engaged in the activities associated with collecting than to be chasing her around the house all the time

ajaan

Truth be told, if the choice was my coins or my wife, this would be a no brainer for me.

SYRACUSIAN

You don't want Kelly to read this Don.

ccrdragon

Talk like that coul dget you in deep hot water, Don!

lordmarcovan

...or not. Notice he ain't sayin' which he would pick. I know which it would be.

We'd miss him here.

SYRACUSIAN

We'd miss him here.


Because she would exterminate him if she read it?

WhiteLighnin

I am EXTREMELY lucky, my wife loves coins and in all actuallity has a nicer collection than me....helps me buy coins, buys coins for me, and buys coins for both of us together....She is always supportive...that's one of the biggest reasons i love her so much and we get along so great!!!!

ajaan

<< <i>Notice he ain't sayin' which he would pick. I know which it would be >>


Exactly.

tbirde56

Congrats to the lucky coin couples! That's a special and uncommon bond.
My wife would rather look at curtains than coins but she hassles me not about my hobby.

sumnom

My wife and I have seperate hobbies and she never gives me trouble about coin collecting. She teases me now and again but she never gives me trouble about it. The "when are you going to stop" question goes deeper than the coins themselves or even money issues. It is a question of power and jealousy. As long as you are not spending beyond your means, why bother you about it? If you do have a conversation about this, talk not about the coins but why she feels the need to make you stop. This is not about the coins. There is something else going on here.

PuddlePirate

After knocking around the world with me for thirty years my wife sees "coins" as rather harmless and it keeps me settled at home. She finds my growing "darkside" collection fascinating and although she is not "thrilled" with them, she understands my love of history and art.
It is a simple trade off, I get my coins, she gets her antiques, we both stay within budget. The only time hassles really occur is when I get the "If you sold a few of those coins I could get (fill in the blank)"
Overall though that happens very rarely and she knows that if push comes to shove - family comes before everything else.
There are always more coins

WhiteLighnin

<< <i>After knocking around the world with me for thirty years my wife sees "coins" as rather harmless and it keeps me settled at home. She finds my growing "darkside" collection fascinating and although she is not "thrilled" with them, she understands my love of history and art.
It is a simple trade off, I get my coins, she gets her antiques, we both stay within budget. The only time hassles really occur is when I get the "If you sold a few of those coins I could get (fill in the blank)"
Overall though that happens very rarely and she knows that if push comes to shove - family comes before everything else.
There are always more coins >>

wybrit

There are pros and cons:

The cons:
(1) My wife wonders from time to time "where all of this is going."
(2) When she finds out how much it's all worth, she thinks it's nuts tying up all that cash in coins. When I explain that even though it's not an investment, they are doing better than most investments we have, she nods.
(3) But then she forgets we've had the conversation and asks again.

The pros:
(1) Before my daughter came along , my wife and I had done a lot of coin looking together. It was great of her to pretend not to be bored. She would even chat up the dealers and I'd get a better discount for it. Me, I am not the chatting type at shops and shows.
(2) Since she's been to the shops and the shows, she knows when I go to one that I am chasing coins and not other women (not that I would anyway - still happily married).
(3) Every married couple needs "thee" time and "me" time. Coins are my "me" time.

Askari

Sadly, my wife is immune to numismatic charms. I can't even get her to be interested enough to understand the difference between coins and medals -- everything is "coins" (including currency). Money is for saving and/or spending, not for recreational hoarding. If she had her druthers, I switch to a "practical hobby" like home improvement, gardening, or cooking. Nevertheless, she knows I enjoy it and it helps me unwind and relax ... and it's far better than the alternatives many of her friends' husbands indulge.

joesmom

Being one of the relatively few female collectors out there, I have a different situation than most of you guys. My husband doesn't share my enthusiasm for coins, but fortunately our son does! My husband rarely, if ever, questions my spending of either $$ or time on this hobby. He sees that it brings me much enjoyment and a chance to decompress from the stresses of everyday life....basically he sees it that if in the end I'm happy, everyone is happy . He does go with me occasionally to shows and helps with my 'want list' as best he can, even gave me an Australian Lunar bullion set for Christmas! Do I wish he shared my level of enthusiasm for this hobby? Sure! But he has his corvettes and tools, I have my coins and we're both respectful and supportive of each others interests. Just last week he was travelling for work and brought home some goodies for me from Canada. He and his employees travel internationally extensively for work, so he's always coming home with something cool jingling in his pocket for me .

I think he's just happy that I don't spend the $$ on shoes or clothes or jewelry (although I do have a fondness for purses ) just as I'm happy that he's not spending his $$ on bars, drugs or other women. And if in the end both of our hobbies have gained in value, then that's just a bonus! Fortunately my collection is not being amassed in vain. It will all one day be Joe's and even at 7 years old he already knows the value and importance of the coins. He doesn't see them as simply something to buy candy or toys with. He probably has both the coin bug AND the car bug as bad as anyone I know. In fact, some weekends he has a tough choice to make...go with Mommy to a coin show, or go with Daddy to a hot rod show? Fortunately that doesn't happen very often, I just think it's great that we each have an interest to share with Joe, it gives us an opportunity to each have 1 on 1 time with him...on top of all of the family things we do together.

tbirde56