An Introduction

DrNguyenVanFalk

Just wanted to introduce myself to fellow collectors. If any of you dweebs have a problem with that, please be advised that I'm 6'6", 310 pounds of rock-hard muscle, I bench 580 pounds, I'm a 10th level, Ku sublevel black belt in bujutsu, and I enjoy the taste of human flesh. I have 14 children and I'm so virile that women have been known to get pregnant just from riding in an elevator with me. I'm so rich, when I'm smoking a cigar, I light a $100 bill . . . and use it to light a '52 Mantle, which I throw at my youngest son, who gets up and lights my cigar - I teach my kids discipline, unlike wussy fathers today.

First, some background on my collecting history. I used to hang out with Jeff Burdick back in the day and helped him out with his collection. Decent guy, Burdick, but a bit of a pansy. While I was working on upgrades to the American Card Catalog, he would try on skirts and shriek like a little girl. I let him have credit for the catalog, though, because that's the kind of guy I am.

Back in the '50s, I collected everything. I would eat Wilson and Stahl-Meyer franks raw just to get the cards quicker. Don't even ask about Red Heart Dog Food. My collecting stopped for a while in the mid '60s when I became a Green Beret and went to 'Nam. It isn't reported in the commie history books, but I was so badass that the dinks released 100 American POWs in return for the promise that I wouldn't fight any more.

Now that I've made my introduction, I'll have you know that I'll fight any of you Taco Bell-eating, Zubaz-wearing, mommy's-basement-living geeks, at any time, at any card show in the nation. I'll fly in on my corporate jet, kick your tail, and be back at my estate for afternoon beer and volleyball.

P.S., I'm looking for a 2002-03 SPx Darius Miles to complete a set. Any help? Thanks!

AlanAllen

Do you have any extra Red Man Mays cards?

DrNguyenVanFalk

<< <i>Do you have any extra Red Man Mays cards? >>



Is that a threat? 'Cause if so, I'll kick your ass.

maxXposure

I like DrNguyen..

AlanAllen

<< <i>

<< <i>Do you have any extra Red Man Mays cards? >>



Is that a threat? 'Cause if so, I'll kick your ass. >>


It is what it is. (queue monkey hitting gong)

calleocho

Post of the month!

downgoesfrazier

A classic. That post was so good I'll actually make an effort to find you that card...right after I pound a dozen eggs and throw 225 up until I puke.


dgf

wolfbear

I oughta beat your brains in, and I think I will !

1954

Dear Dr.
You have earned our respect. Please forgive us in advance if we have insulted you.

1954
Very humerous

DaBigHurt

When you went to 'Nam, which side did you fight for?

marz

<< <i>Dear Dr.
You have earned our respect. Please forgive us in advance if we have insulted you.

1954
Very humerous >>



It is extremely funny~

koby

Great post!

jimtb

What a post! Kinda puts things into their proper perspective...

helionaut

Sounds like the good Doctor has Real Ultimate Power.

magellan

I think he's Bill Brasky undercover.

RobE

Somebody is sitting in the office waiting room where he made this post.

uniship

That post made me laugh out loud. Just stay away from me at the national so we don't have to roll around on the parking lot outside kicking each other's arse.

koby

<< <i> if I get to meet ole Phil I am going to take some of it out on him. he can see how small a man can bench 500 and toss him across a card show floor with ease! >>

DirtyHarry

Doc - was that your voice in the background on the Bonds steriod tape?

Virtualizard

<< <i>...P.S., I'm looking for a 2002-03 SPx Darius Miles to complete a set. Any help? Thanks! >>




Dr. NVF,

Why don't you attempt a real set? That set is for little girls. You obviously don't make enough money to afford a real set of cards. Since you don't have the income required to collect anything good, your words are meaningless here.

Your 10th level Ku sublevel blackbelt in bujutsu doesn't impress me. My martial arts skills put you to shame. I'd laugh at you while you were eating my flesh and then just pummel you like you deserve.

Your '50s and 60's endeavors are weak, at best. Last year, I found a case of Red Heart and ate it all, so my cards are better than yours!

So, that's why I'm better than you, my cards are better than yours, I make more money than you do, and I could kick your ass any day of the week.

Boy, I love this forum! It really makes me feel better about myself!

JEB.

ChicagoGlen

I'm so rich, when I'm smoking a cigar, I light a $100 bill . . . and use it to light a '52 Mantle, which I throw at my youngest son, who gets up and lights my cigar - I teach my kids discipline, unlike wussy fathers today.

This has got to be the funniest line I have EVER read on any board anywhere. My wife even came in the office to read it. We were rolling!!!

murcerfan

I heard you were a World Famous E-card collector too

RobE

<< <i>

<< <i>...P.S., I'm looking for a 2002-03 SPx Darius Miles to complete a set. Any help? Thanks! >>




Dr. NVF,

Why don't you attempt a real set? That set is for little girls. You obviously don't make enough money to afford a real set of cards. Since you don't have the income required to collect anything good, your words are meaningless here.

Your 10th level Ku sublevel blackbelt in bujutsu doesn't impress me. My martial arts skills put you to shame. I'd laugh at you while you were eating my flesh and then just pummel you like you deserve.

Your '50s and 60's endeavors are weak, at best. Last year, I found a case of Red Heart and ate it all, so my cards are better than yours!

So, that's why I'm better than you, my cards are better than yours, I make more money than you do, and I could kick your ass any day of the week.

Boy, I love this forum! It really makes me feel better about myself!

JEB. >>



Play station 2 muscles.

jrdolan

I think you forgot to mention that you grossed $1.5 million at age 15.

RobE

<< <i>I think you forgot to mention that you grossed $1.5 million at age 15. >>



Yeah but this Monopoly champ cheats by giving himself an extra $500 to secure Boardwalk and Park Place.