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A VISIT WITH MrLee...A CALIFORNIA NIGHTMARE!

On a whim, I decided to take MrLee up on his offer of hospitality and headed to California for a few days of adventure. This was a decision that I would regret within the short span of 24 hours. I had originally planned to leave Cottonwood that Friday morning and drive to the Colorado River just East of Blythe, CA. where I would spend the night. I would continue on my journey Saturday A.M. and be at MrLee's place in the afternoon. If only I had stuck to my original plan...

Once behind the wheel, with the tunes cranked, I just breezed across the Colorado and through Blythe. I figured I'd just kill the drive that day and arrive about 12 hours early.

I pulled into MrLee's driveway just as the sun had set. He met me at the front door and it seemed as if he was a bit put out by my early arrival. He asked me if I would pull the van around the house and into the fenced backyard where I could let my dogs out unleashed. I complied and after having gotten things set up for the dogs, I was invited inside for a meal. After a really nice homecooked meal we sat and talked a bit, looked at coins and watched some T.V. About 10 P.M. MrLee tells me that he's tired and going to turn in for the evening. I thought this a bit strange as he seemed to be growing more and more nervous as the night progressed.

He then told me that he'd show me the room he had prepared for me. Now, MrLee isn't what I would call a "dog person." He didn't want my dogs having the run of his house and hanging out on the furniture, I guess. That meant that my dogs would be sleeping outside. I explained to him that it's "Love me...love my dogs." and that if my dogs couldn't sleep inside, I wouldn't either. This seemed to make him even more nervous but he said, "It's your choice." Pretty soon I was snoozing away in the van.

It must have been about Midnight when I was awakend by the sharp crack of what sounded like the screendoor on the back porch slamming, followed by a muffled curse. I raised my head to see what was going on. I saw a shadowy figure moving along the back of the house to the fence gate which was soon opened. Through the gate came three or four people, all dressed in similar fashion...long, hooded robes. This group muttered among themselves in an agitated manner as they moved toward the shed in the far corner of the yard. When they entered the shed and I heard the bolt thrown from the inside, I knew that I HAD to know what was going on in that shed. Just another mistake in a long list of mistakes.

I crept up to the one window in the shed. It had been painted black on the inside, but there was a pinhole or two where I could get a glimpse of the dimly lit interior of the shed. I could see five hooded and robed figures standing at one end of a rectangular raised platform. An altar? Was I about to witness some sort of bloody sacrifice? No...oh no...something MUCH more horrible than that was about to assault my senses. Soon I became aware of the sound of a rythmic beat underlying the muted conversation amongst the group. That beat was vaguely familiar...

Suddenly, the ritual began. My jaw dropped and I found myself frozen as I watched the scene before me unfold. I was transfixed. The pure horror of what played out in that shed seared my brain with such vivid imprints that it'll be with me 'til my dying day. My eyes burned and my head ached, but somehow I managed to stumble blindly to the van. I quickly packed everything and fired up the van. As I approached the gate in the fence I saw the shed door swing open. I knew that I had no time to waste and drove right through the closed gate. I hit the gas, grabbed another gear and never once looked in the rearview mirror.

It had been a long day, and it was going to be an even longer night. I knew that I could make the long drive home without a problem, though, sleep was the last thing I wanted at this moment. I had a feeling that the nightmares from this experience would last for years and years to come.

The moment the first figure dropped his robe to reveal a 50ish pale and overweight body in tight Victoria's Secret Lingerie stunned me. He stepped up on to what I now realized wasn't an altar at all, but a CATWALK! I was in shock until the very last figure, MrLee followed suit. It was terrible! The loose stomach skin, draped over the garterbelt which supported his black fishnet stockings...flapping as he pranced and sashayed to Boy George and Culture Club's "Karma Chameleon" was too much to bear. As he reached the end of the catwalk and performed his little pirouette with his hands on his hips and I caught sight of the lacy half-cup bra doing nothing to stop the jiggle of his exposed man boobs...

THOSE JIGGLING MAN BOOBS!!!! THOSE HORRIBLE JIGGLING MAN BOOBS!!!!

Oh God! Will I ever get a restful night's sleep again? Will this unGodly sight that's burned into my brain haunt me forever? Only time will tell...
J.C.
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imageimageSee ya on the other side, Dudes. image

Comments

  • MrLeeMrLee Posts: 1,848 ✭✭✭
    We were really hoping you would stay and partake in the festivities but no......you had to turn all prudish on us and in the process wreck my gate. I had such a lovely see-through nightie set aside for you too. Well, it's your loss my friend...your loss.



    BTW ....Those Jiggling Boobs cost me $5000.
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    J.C.
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    imageimageSee ya on the other side, Dudes. image
  • This one certainly needs to remain on the page.

    As a warning...
    J.C.
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    imageimageSee ya on the other side, Dudes. image
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