Card Grading 50 years from now!
Mantlefan
Posts: 1,079 ✭✭
Let’s look into the future….the future Conan? That’s right, let’s look ahead to the year 2054!
Fifty years from now, I prepare to have my prized 2010 Topps-Fleer-Ultra-Chrome “Barry Bonds Hits His 800th Home Run” card graded. There are but 2 choices: Jodi-Mo’s PRO-SGC-GAI Co. that only offers 2 grades - Gem Mint and Ultra Gem Mint or good old PSA.
Now run by Joe Orlando Jr., PSA is still offering a May Set Registry Special: 5 day express service for only $10, but I’m impatient and opt for the 10 minute service at $350. This is still a savings as President George Bush III has recently repealed the 20% card grading tax imposed by former President Chelsea Clinton. Actually since 1988, all US Presidents have been named either Clinton or Bush.
I prepare my submission form, include $225 for return service and pop my 40-year-old card into the transporter machine on my desk. I dial the address: PO Box 6180 Newport Swamp [the Beach eroded about 10 years ago!] and wait patiently for my grade.
PSA now uses computer scanners to grade all cards. They have switched to a 10,000 point grading system. The computer scans the card with an Electron Microscope and allows 2,000 points each for centering, corners, surface, picture and reverse. I’m hoping for a 9,300 to 9,400 for this card earning it a Nearly-Perfect-Gem-Mint-Near-Pristine grade. Hopefully, it won’t be assigned to the Computer of Death that is very tough on vintage stuff. Once graded, my card will be placed into 2 ultra clear titanium slabs. These slabs protect against all forms of light, heat and radiation that can damage my beauty. Sadly, the slabs will then be glued together with 2004 PSA paste.
Exactly 10 minutes after sending it, my card appears in my transporter. I carefully open the wrapping to find: yes! a PSA 9566 grade….Perfect-Gem-Mint-Near-Pristine. With trembling fingers I log onto the PSA Set Registry and go to my Barry Bonds Master Set. After entering the card, I soar into 368th place!! John Branca Jr. is at #1 of course, but he only has a 91% completion rate. This set has 633,119 cards and someday I going to catch him!!
Now, what to grade next? Maybe my autographed 2014 Upper Deck- Donruss “Roger Clemens Wins His 500th Game” card. Nah, Clemens re-signed with the Yankees in 2053, and I still hate the Yankees!
Fifty years from now, I prepare to have my prized 2010 Topps-Fleer-Ultra-Chrome “Barry Bonds Hits His 800th Home Run” card graded. There are but 2 choices: Jodi-Mo’s PRO-SGC-GAI Co. that only offers 2 grades - Gem Mint and Ultra Gem Mint or good old PSA.
Now run by Joe Orlando Jr., PSA is still offering a May Set Registry Special: 5 day express service for only $10, but I’m impatient and opt for the 10 minute service at $350. This is still a savings as President George Bush III has recently repealed the 20% card grading tax imposed by former President Chelsea Clinton. Actually since 1988, all US Presidents have been named either Clinton or Bush.
I prepare my submission form, include $225 for return service and pop my 40-year-old card into the transporter machine on my desk. I dial the address: PO Box 6180 Newport Swamp [the Beach eroded about 10 years ago!] and wait patiently for my grade.
PSA now uses computer scanners to grade all cards. They have switched to a 10,000 point grading system. The computer scans the card with an Electron Microscope and allows 2,000 points each for centering, corners, surface, picture and reverse. I’m hoping for a 9,300 to 9,400 for this card earning it a Nearly-Perfect-Gem-Mint-Near-Pristine grade. Hopefully, it won’t be assigned to the Computer of Death that is very tough on vintage stuff. Once graded, my card will be placed into 2 ultra clear titanium slabs. These slabs protect against all forms of light, heat and radiation that can damage my beauty. Sadly, the slabs will then be glued together with 2004 PSA paste.
Exactly 10 minutes after sending it, my card appears in my transporter. I carefully open the wrapping to find: yes! a PSA 9566 grade….Perfect-Gem-Mint-Near-Pristine. With trembling fingers I log onto the PSA Set Registry and go to my Barry Bonds Master Set. After entering the card, I soar into 368th place!! John Branca Jr. is at #1 of course, but he only has a 91% completion rate. This set has 633,119 cards and someday I going to catch him!!
Now, what to grade next? Maybe my autographed 2014 Upper Deck- Donruss “Roger Clemens Wins His 500th Game” card. Nah, Clemens re-signed with the Yankees in 2053, and I still hate the Yankees!
Frank
Always looking for 1957 Topps BB in PSA 9!
Always looking for 1957 Topps BB in PSA 9!
0
Comments
say that after seeing the future of 2054 I've taken the delorean to 2055 to meet with my grandkids to tell them to contact
either Steve Rocchi's or Sean Sskeffington's grand kids and use some of my pocket change to buy out Jodi-mo since Joe Jr's
investor's are tired of the continuous red ink due to the insane low fees of $10 charged by Psa. They will close shop soon.
Therefore, my bet would be to buy the Jodi-mo company and start making some real money since they will be the only company
left in 2055. Then guys like Mantlefan will easily spend the coin to get their modern stuff graded. It is a guarantee to succeed!
After my job is done I then take a break before heading back to 2004. I buy myself the best hooker I can find and go crazy
to the brink of death only to take the new pill "Lebrontia" that is a big commercial success due to the marketing of Lebron
James. The pill works wonders.....
I've now decided that 2055 has a lot going for it so I decide to stick around and come back to 2004 here and there.
Good bye all...
aconte
<< <i>With trembling fingers I log onto the PSA Set Registry and go to my Barry Bonds Master Set. After entering the card, I soar into 368th place!! John Branca Jr. is at #1 of course, but he only has a 91% completion rate. This set has 633,119 cards and someday I going to catch him!! >>
HAHAHA!!!!! 633,119 cards HAH!
thats about it too. very funny read.
http://www.clark22murray33.com
I can see the message boards threads now:
"Is anyone else having to wait 10 whole minutes for PSA's 5 minute service!?!"
"The Computer of Death must have a virus again, because these grades can't be right"
"Do you think that PSA cert numbers starting with ten million are worth less?"
"Will this 2010 wax pack in Mastro's auction set a new record?"
"GAI's set registry should be up and running on Monday"
"Breaking hobby news!! Davalillo Jr. is switching all 99 of his straight 8 sets back over to PSA"
Mike
(shouldabeena10,000)
<< <i>"GAI's set registry should be up and running on Monday" >>
That was cruel, but funny.
Great read! That is a hilarious piece of creative writing. Thanks for sharing your talent!
There will be a new company out called DCA Dead cadaver authenticator.
Question... is there any other kind of cadaver?
Always looking for 1957 Topps BB in PSA 9!
<< <i>MantleFan;
Great read! That is a hilarious piece of creative writing. Thanks for sharing your talent!
There will be a new company out called DCA Dead cadaver authenticator.
Question... is there any other kind of cadaver? >>
Con, the redundancy was the joke.
Also 50 years from now, all existing cards will be in holders. To have them graded, the cards will be cracked from the holder, graded, and then sent back in what will be called 'raw' form. Then these 'raw' cards will reside in collector boxes or 9 pocket kriptonic pages.
BOTR
I'm not too concerned or really care. I will be 110 years old and most likely won't even know my own name. LOL.
Ed
You forgot to mention that finding the other 633,000 cards is easy in 2054...in 2025 PSA debuted the "Lojack" location chip into every holder....activate your set and you get the current name and address of every card you need!!!!
Live long, and prosper.
In 50 years my 1966 set will be 88 years old. And so will I!
1963T Dodgers in 8s
Pre-war Brooklyn 5s or higher