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Canseco Contest Time!
zardoz51
Posts: 1,168
It's Contest Time!
It is rumored that there is a total idiot out there who is STILL sitting on a huge accumulation of 86 Canseco Rookies. In fact, he has a fair percentage of the total ever graded by PSA in some vain hope that Jose will eventually pull some sort of OJ move which will create a booming market for at least 15 minutes.
Rather than feel sorry for this greedy lunatic who thought that he'd be retired to a life of luxury after Jose smashed the HR record and had been dutifully enshrined in the HOF, let's try to make this pathetic soul better by having a contest to give him some hope.
So here's the deal. Contestants will give their reasons as to why Jose is a long shot for SOME SORT of HOF. Points will be awarded for creativity and humor. In other words, the funnier, the better chance you have of winning.
There will be three winners and each will receive a genuine 1986 Donruss #39 Jose Canseco Rookie PSA 9.
Winners will be announced next Sunday 3/14
It is rumored that there is a total idiot out there who is STILL sitting on a huge accumulation of 86 Canseco Rookies. In fact, he has a fair percentage of the total ever graded by PSA in some vain hope that Jose will eventually pull some sort of OJ move which will create a booming market for at least 15 minutes.
Rather than feel sorry for this greedy lunatic who thought that he'd be retired to a life of luxury after Jose smashed the HR record and had been dutifully enshrined in the HOF, let's try to make this pathetic soul better by having a contest to give him some hope.
So here's the deal. Contestants will give their reasons as to why Jose is a long shot for SOME SORT of HOF. Points will be awarded for creativity and humor. In other words, the funnier, the better chance you have of winning.
There will be three winners and each will receive a genuine 1986 Donruss #39 Jose Canseco Rookie PSA 9.
Winners will be announced next Sunday 3/14
THE FLOGGINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES
0
Comments
Zardoz,
I am highly offended by the first sentence in your post!!!!!!!
Vic
Im sorry did I say that out loud?
Why bother writing an essay, all I have to do is order something from you, and it arrives packaged with Canseco Rookies.
Robert
Any high grade OPC Jim Palmer
High grade Redskins (pre 1980)
The ball off the head and over the wall for a homer when he was a Ranger, was actually, none other than Ozzie. He was also in the game during that brief pitching attempt.
Now, even though several of these incidents made Jose look foolish, it was still better than coming to the game with a headache and dry heaves. At the times, he liked the attention also. The only problem was that Jose lost contact with Ozzie and he heard off and on that he was traveling different cities using Jose's identity to gain extra benefits wherever he showed up. I believe it wasn't until just last week that Ozzie was caught with a male prostitute, and still claimed to be Jose, that authorities were contacted.
So, if we can all just dismiss all of the not so smart comments or actions by Jose, er.. Ozzie, then based on numbers alone he deserves to be in the Hall much like others who are already in with similiar numbers.
Jose and Ozzie will reportedly have a press conference soon to clear this all up.
TheRoach
Possible scenario : Jose breaks his probation and is sentenced to the big house.
He is attacked by a serial child killer who should have been put to death anyway.
Canseco tears the killer limb from limb with his bare hands,
much to the glee of the Governer who happens to be visiting that day,
and who not only grants Jose an instant pardon, but declares him a state hero.
Parades, guest spots on sitcoms, and his own show on ESPN ensue,
and everyone lives happily ever after ... especially holders of Jose's rookie cards.
"How about a little fire Scarecrow ?"
to donate the prize to ydsotter's program found in this thread.
Rather than give reasons as to why Jose in a long shot for some sort
of HOF, I'll be the first to announce his enshrinement into a HOF for
which he is a LOCK...
Ladies & gentlemen, I'd like to reveal the first three inductees into
the Official "Now That's What I Call Using Your Head" Hall of Fame!
The first member is Howard Magilicutty, the world record holder for
the longest headstand. Unfortunately for Howard, he has been in this
position for so long that if he were to stand on his feet the blood
rushing away from his head would instantly make him impotent for life.
The 2nd charter inductee into the "Now That's What I Call Using Your
Head" Hall of Fame, is Yukomata Yamasotodotado inventor of the head-
mounted toilet paper dispenser.
Our 3rd and final member of this esteemed group is none other than Mr.
Jose Canseco. Jose's claim to head-using fame happened in 1993. The
fly ball that Jose attempted to field bounced off his head and into the
stands for a homerun. Jose commented, "I ran back to the wall and when
I turned around the ball was already there and hit me on top of the head
and went over the wall for a home run. I really didn't feel it. I was
just embarrassed." Now that's what I call using your head!
While doing time, Jose meets Martha Stewart, they fall in love, and become the "IT" couple, pushing aside J-Low and B-Flick.
Canseco card prices skyrocket.
Jose's affinity for steroids and advanced age in sports terms make him a natural for pro wrestling, where it seems that you cannot be a really big star unless you take at least 10 different drugs that you can neither pronounce nor spell, and you are on the far side of 40 (see Rowdy Roddy Piper, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, et al.). With Jose's name identification (and the fact he usually has at least one trampy blonde hanging on his arm), he could be an instant success as a heel wrestler. He can even bring a baseball bat to the ring - it's wrestling, so who cares about the rules.
Jose can take over the old macho Latino heel role best played by Razor Ramon (although the toothpick in the mouth would be pushing it. It will be easy for him. He just has to be as dismissive of the fans as he was as a MLB player.
Just think, the first time Jose gets hit with a powerbomb or put in a figure four leglock on a national pay-per-view, he can clinch his spot in the WWE Hall of Fame and restore the price of graded Canseco rookies.
Nick
Reap the whirlwind.
Need to buy something for the wife or girlfriend? Check out Vintage Designer Clothing.
Does 4th place get two (2) PSA 9 rookie cards?
Forget Pete Rose! Hey look at me,
For years been on a hittin' spree.
I've carried teams upon my back,
I am the Best, not talkin' smack.
I'm big, I'm buff, 'roids made me tuff,
If all those homers ain't enough,
I'm loved by women large and small,
My Bust's a must in the Cooperstown Hall.
Whenever I want, a base I steal,
I'm a 40/40 and that's for real.
Jose Can-you-see, I'm 10 feet tall,
My Bust's a must in the Cooperstown Hall.
I've got the goods, I've got the look,
I'm not just pretty, I've got a Book.
I'm quick, I'm fast, I never fall,
My Bust's a must in the Cooperstown Hall.
But just remember, when you vote this fall,
Forget balls bouncing over the wall.
Vote for me, or I'll tell all,
My Bust's a must in the Cooperstown Hall,
My Bust's a must in the Cooperstown Hall.
I still admit to being a big fan of "Mr. Excitement", the first ever to be a 40/40 guy !! And I do believe he is among the top 20 all-time leaders in HR frequency.
Remember that Bill Mazerowski, Bobby Doerr, and Phil Rizzuto, along with other umpires, broadcasters, front office guys, and such are in baseball's Hall. Who would a rational person choose to have participate in his prime, for his team, Jose C., or any of the aforementioned ???
But in reality perhaps Jose might start dating stars again like he did before with Madonna, perhaps Ocsar winner Charlzie Theron (sp.) and get into Hollywood. Then become cast as a muscle guy with an accent, maybe a movie action hero, much like Arnold S., and then become a top elected government offical. Nahh... that's too unbelieveable to ever happen.