How to explain card collecting to your girlfriend/wife?

TheCARDKid

Explaining card collecting to women isn't the easiest thing in the world.

The reactions I've gotten from women have ranged from..."oh, that's pretty cool" to...."ummm, what are you spending your money on?" But then when you show them how brilliant you are at buying and selling little pieces of cardboard, they start to catch on

I can't imagine explaining the many nuances of collecting, like how the weighted GPA of the PSA set registry works. Or why some errors and variations are worth alot of money and others are basically worthless.

How much does your girlfriend/wife know about your card collection? Do they think its crazy, smart, silly or just plain weird?

Undertaker

I just don't tell em..
Then again, I'm only 20 so I don't live with one yet.

MXracer

Plain and simple...although women will tell you how stupid cards are and how it's a waste of money to spend so much on a "piece of cardboard" cards are a better buy than anything women spend their money on...

She spends $130 on a purse...in 3 weeks it's "out of style" or another woman in her office got the same one so it's now worthless and she has to buy another
I spend $130 on a card and can resell it for $160 right now or maybe even 5 years from now

She spends $70 on a bottle of perfume...in a couple months it's gone
I still have the card I spent $70 on and can turn around and sell it for that or more

She spends $150 on a dress...wears it a couple times and then forgets it in the back of the closet...or heaven forbid she outgrows it
I spend $20 on a pair of jeans, $7 on a t-shirt and have an outfit just like her but also $123 left over to spend on a card that I will be able to get my money back out of and probably a profit too

etc.

She's got a $5000 shoe collection that can now only be donated to the Salvation Army because they're used
I've got a $5000 card collection that could probably be sold for $7500

Who's not spending the money wisely...get off my back woman.

nearmint

None of my friends understand the collecting at all. My girlfriend doesn't understand, either, but her dad collects stamps, so she's used to the idea.

On the other hand, everyone (except for my dad, who thinks I should spend 40 years with the same company) thinks that it's cool that I started my own business, built my own websites, etc. Most of my friends work for big corporations, and they aren't thrilled with their jobs. They're envious that I found something I'm interested in to work on.

My girlfriend tolerates the collecting, and she's very supportive of my business. She has all sorts of ideas on how to run things, and she's dismayed when I do only 1 in 5 of the things she suggests. (Her ideas are usually good, I just don't have the time.) I'm glad she's not the boss!

Mike

Vargha

Outside of the monetary aspect, very few women will have much interest, much less understanding of collecting.

MXracer

I know of two women who collect and are always set up at the card shows I go to...either one of them could beat me up with one hand tied behind their back

nearmint

You mean card collecting, right, Vargha? Beanie babies, Hummels, decorative plates. They collect things, it's just dumb stuff.

Mike

thefootballcardstore

MXracer has the right idea. Hon, you can spend as much as you want, as long as you can resell it someday for at least part of what you paid for it. Not many ways around that.
That used to get her back when I was a collector. Now-a-days, she is fully involved in the business as a bookkeeper and uh, "Advisor". Jeremy

Southsider

I'm pretty lucky that my girlfriend is also a big sports fan. I try to buy some cards of her favorite players to get her interested. She's still oblivious to the concept of their value, but she thinks some of them look pretty. At least she pretends to be interested in my collection.

Vargha

Mike, I am truly a blessed man. My wife tolerates my card collecting (figuring that if the finances are in order then it's no big deal). She thinks that Beanie babies, Hummels, those stupid wicker baskets, etc. are a waste of time and money. I truly don't deserve her and for some reason, all of her friends say that she doesn't deserve me. But when they say it, it sounds like they mean something different.

Cubfan

My girlfriend thinks its a stupid hobby.

My wife, on the other hand, doesnt have a problem with it.

1420sports

I am lucky, as my wife is very supportive of my collection. I am on a monthly budget, which may go over at times, and $250 per Fort Washington show. If there is one of those "rare, gotta have cause it is rarely offered type cards" I come up with a game plan, present my plan, and then usually get shot down. The same plan was recently accepted however, for a 1967 PSA 7 lot that I am purchasing in a few weeks. I am fortunate to have a very cool wife with a good eye for cards and some of the cards in my collection were Xmas, wedding, and birthday gifts from her ...

toppsgun

My only problem came when I explained to her what "upgrading" was. Now she applies that concept to house, furniture, clothes, shoes, etc, etc.

Vargha

Maybe she needs to be upgraded.

cspeier1

My wife thinks cards are for little boys.. I keep reminding her that my body is 37, but my mind thinks like a 12 year old.. She doesn't find that very funny. I told her that it's crazy when the smartest person in our family is our 20 month old.. She doesn't find that very funny either.. So we finally agreed that if I receive a "present" in the mail, so does she. I didn't find that very funny.. Now I have a PO Box.. I showed her!!

Chad

fab4

i am lucky also to the point of my father-in-law has a massive collection. he has sets from 51-86 in topps and bowmans. plus autographs and jerseys. he was a college athlectic director and now a scout for the pittsburg pirates, they spent family vacations going to ball games. we were engaged before i found out he collected. we were in dallas for a weekend and they had a massive card show at a holiday inn that i wanted to attend but didn't know how to tell her. i finally just happen to stop in for lunch. i went to the bathroom and 20 minutes later came back with a 67 seaver rookie. that is when she told me her dad collected and she would enjoy going to the show. we spent hours together looking at cards and i picked up a few mantles to look at and the best words ever came out "my dad has that one" after that it was true love. we were married that year in november and for christmas she bought me a complete 65 set. since then she has added a 68,69 and a 75 set for various occasions. i keep 90% of my cards raw and when i upgrade or buy to resell is when i have them graded. both her and my daughter (who is 19) enjoy going over the raw cards before they are sent for submission. i will give them cards to ebay and keep the money. keeps them interested.

......fab4........

Rainman

I must be the minority here- a FEMALE card collector who has been collecting since I was a kid. My grandpa got me into it and I never grew out of it. It's always fun going to shops and getting the "are you in the right place" look or the "oh what does your boyfriend/ husband collect?" I've never dated anyone who collected cards (beyond childhood), so it's funny talking to men my age and saying "yes, I collect sportscards".

ctsoxfan

My wife doesn't mind it at all, though I am sure she finds it a bit odd. I know she sees the way this hobby takes me back to my childhood, and keeps me out of trouble. She unfortunately also sometimes sees the money I make (and spend) on these cards, but when I counter with how much she spends on her stuff (shoes, purses, spas etc), the case is closed. Also, I try to attend shows whenever I can, and I view that time as some quality "alone" time, away from the responsibilities of real life.

There are truly worse places I could be spending my money, as she says...

nearmint

Rainman, is your PM box filling with marriage proposals? Did someone mention upgrading?

mjt

Stone193

Trying to explain card collecting to my wife - you gotta better chance of explaining the thermal coefficient of expansion and contraction to my pet cat Tiger!?!?!?

Mike

BugOnTheRug

Like Southside, my wife likes sports and we both watch baseball, football, and some basketball. She rolls her eyes at my card collecting, stating that I'm 'obsessive' about it. She doesn't mind me spending on the hobby, but we've had some 'discussions' about my purchases, such as $$$$ and being late for church while I waited for a 1972 topps set auction to end (I won!).

Fast-forward to last year: Giant game at Pac Bell park, where team sets were handed out to first 15,000. They were out where we entered.......no big deal to me. But my wife was adamant that we find the set . Next, we have to trade duplicates to get the complete set, so my wife starts asking everybody around her.....then everybody we bumped into going to the Larkspur ferry........ then on the ferry! Obsessive? you bet!

On the way home, I said that collecting wasn't so bad after all..........maybe that she should get more involved. Nope, instead I got the eye-roll.

Go figure............

BOTR

67standup

Her voice says, "I'm glad that you have your own thing", but her eyes say, "what an idiot to spend that kind of money." I like it when she un-delicately shoves high-value sets out of the way so we can snuggle and watch HGTV. You see the ideas on this show have high investment potential, unlike graded Ruths and 68 Topps 3Ds.

qualitycards

Hey! I do this for a living and my wife doesn't get it. If shes at a show w/ me and sees me spend a few hundred at a table, she will let me know that the driveway needs to be blacktopped or the living room needs curtains. At the A.City Nat'l she didn't want to wait a few hours for the PSA get together, so we left for home Friday morning. For the Cleveland Nat'l I decided to make it a real vacation, she will be at home w/ the cats & dogs & and I;ll take the kids or go solo. My kinda vacation, good food, good drink and a thousand dealer tables of cards to go through ...jay

goodriddance189

my girlfriend thinks collecting is cool, and her eyes always light up when i tell her i'm making money (more dates?). i think she's under the assumption that i do more selling than collecting, but whatever.

TheRoach

What a great thread. I have been collecting since I was about 13 or so. I am 30 now and didn't meet my wife until I was 18 so she didn't have much choice. Throughout our dating years she would ALWAYS buy me packs, singles, boxes to butter me up. I loved it. If we got into a fight, I would purposely hold out from talking to her until she bought me some kind of card or pack. I considered it a peace offering.

After about 8 years, we got engaged and I could tell that she was kind of wishing that the cards would go away. They are all over the place in little stacks. After all of this time she has learned to accept them because she knows that it's them or her.

She has her little fits at least once a week these days when she yells " You're like a freakin' little kid!". That is when I usually respond, "OK, then that makes you a pedafile" and then I go back to admiring my cards which I have layed out across the table as if I was setting up for a card show. It's a little bit weird, I know. But I love looking at all of my cards layed out and displayed.

After all of that was said, I will admit one thing. I do get a bit embarrassed if I am at the local Target or Wal-Mart and I am looking through the cards and a beautiful girl/girls walks by and sees me. I do feel kind of childish for that moment. That is why I always have my 2 year old next to me. If that happens, I look at my son and say in a louder voice "C'Mon, hurry up and pick out your cards". After that I take him to McDonald's since he took one for the team. I may have to stop doing that once he turns 21. He may not like it very much.

I am sure I am not the only one who has done this before or felt this way. It's only natural. I even check out all of the check out lines at the store to make sure I do not go into one with a cute girl at the register. I'll have the old crabby lady ring me up if I am just buying cards. Just the way I am.


TheRoach

nearmint

Great story, Roach! Where are you from, anyway? Does someone outside LaCrosse drink Old Style?

TheRoach

Thanks Nearmint! I am from Chicago, IL. I actually hate Old Style. I used to drink it when me and my friend were like 18-19 because we could all chip in and have our friend's brother get us a freakin' 30 pack of 16oz Old Style cans for like $11.99 on sale. That was a great summer.

I have since switched to Budweiser for the last 10 years or so. Great beer, but it definitely has a ingredient in it that causes some gas the next day.

We just got a beer out here called LaCrosse that I hear is the "original" formula for Old Style. It wasn't bad when I tried one. The older Chicagoans love it!


TheRoach

jaybyrd

My wife (now ex-wife) used to buy some really nice cards when I was working on my 68 BB set. She never would tell me who her contact was, said she didn't want me to buy cards from him. (Wonder if she was having an affair with the card dealer).

She didn't understand it, but when I did a card show and sold $750 worth, she seemed more interested. We have been divorced for almost a year, and I was tempted to e-mail her my want list around Christmas.

Think I would have received any 67 high-grade commons?

jaybyrd

Roach - You may want to broaden your horizons if you think Budweiser is good beer. That stuff is nasty !!

CW

How do I explain card collecting to the warden?

"It's a disease, honey!"

RonAndChelle

I am the one who talked my husband into starting a collection again after finding his collection from when he was a kid (it didn't take much convincing though). I find this hobby to be a blast. I have spent so much time on these boards, eBay and dealer websites that my friends think I have lost my mind. I have a friend here right now who thinks I have just lost my mind because I was showing off the PSA/DNA auth. Mickey Mantle ball that I just bought, the Dan Marino (my husband and I love the Dolphins, especially Marino) UDA jersey that I just picked up and the almost $4500 in cards that I have bought in the past month and a half. I have fallen head over heels for this hobby (and thanks to a few Mickey's Big Mouths I have just fallen head over heels for alot of unopened stuff on the Baseball Card Kid's website). She looked at me and said "what are you going to do with that stuff? We could have went shopping with all of that money, Victoria's Secret is having a clearance sale!" She just doesn't get it. My friends also don't understand why I watch sports with my husband. They watch just to see if a guy's butt is "cute" or something and then go off to the kitchen to get away from the game while I am screaming at the refs for screwing up a call or something like that. In short, I love this hobby and plan to enjoy it for the rest of my life and my husband naturally could not be happier about it. I, however, try very hard not to be the "typical female" and take great strides to participate in the things that he enjoys.

toppsgun

what's a girlfriend/wife?

NickM

My girlfriend is supportive of my collecting, as long as it stays at my place. Her place is OK for NPN responses though. It helps that she's somewhat of a baseball fan. Her daughter couldn't care less about cards generally (although I tried, by buying her Disney, zoo, and similar types of non-sports cards), although she does like the fact that I buy the NPN responses off her that I have sent to her (I figure it's a good way to teach an 8-year old that cards are valuable and to add to her pocket money).

Nick

Davino

My girlfriend is very supportive and actually helps me organize the cards and send them out when we sell any on Ebay. She loves me, so she "more than tolerates it".

Stone193

Chelle

You sound like a good sport - as I have said, my wife is clueless and could care less. Looks like you've got it baaad - the collecting bug - I remember back in the early 90's, I was buying everything in sight! I thought my wife was going to kill me - thank god auctions were telephonic back then or I wouldn't be married right now - spent a small fortune - made really good buys and really bad buys - I really love talking about collectibles - I'm actually more into "other than cards" right now - with all the $ people out there, stuff is so much more expensive now compared to 1988-90. There's a lot of guys here who know tons more than I do but don't hesitate to ask - if you guys are into other kinds of stuff, I'm loaded with oddball things like skeds from the 70's, WS press pins, stadium pins, etc. Love talking about that kind of stuff. So like maybe sometime you could, like talk to my wife and like tell her what she's missin.

Mike

Xena6969

I love my baseball card collection and collecting, I also have a wife, 2 kids and a dog, they know how important my collection is to me, but I dont think they understand the value of it. I keep my more valuable stuff out of harms way from them but I have so much stuff that some of it is accessible to them if they want to get to it. and thats where I use my modern stuff base cards as a decoy to keep the 2 year old away from my higher end vintage collection. I was very curious to see where collecting cards stand in their eyes so I did some tests 1. I gave my son a few cards not worth much and told him they were very valuable to see how he would take care of them result from this test 1 hour later cards looked like they were hit by a tornado ok he is only six years old not ready for collecting yet. test 2 the 2 year old daughter she likes baseball cards just doesnt seem to like sharp corners so she modifies that problem also she likes to add a little enhancement to the picture with crayons but all in all I think she likes them a future prospect collector she may be. test 3 is with the wife I know she has no interest in cards but a little test anyways I gave my daughter a common card worth 2 cents and let her go with it she runs by the wife with card in hand wife atleast lets me know she has a card of mine that is good. I start my act "oh no that card is worth 100 dollars!" wifes reaction "oh well you should of put it away where she cant reach it" not a care in the world. that being said my dog a 160 pound plus english mastiff likes Mark Mgwire or he thought the card was chicken or something for he got a hold of a card I was going to send out for a trade it was a ten dollar mcgwire insert with a thousand holes in it needless to say that trade didnt go through. bottom line for me the wife has no interest in collecting but lets me do collect I am happy with that.