I Would Like to Vote to Ban Shiroh (Tongue in Cheek)

Clankeye

He has caused all kinds of trouble on the liteside and even in the Open Forum lately.

It's only a matter of time before he spreads his vile world view and low morals to our beloved Dark Side.

Let us be proactive--who will join me in a hearty chant of Shir--oh Must Go! Shir----oh Must Go!!!!

He is a villian and must be treated to the sole of our collected boot!


Col. Clankeye -- Dark Side Protection Committee

Clankeye

Oh, oh... I better put a smiley. I forgot, it's the internet.

Col. Clank

MacCrimmon

Naaaahhhhh! You just want him shackeled so you can get at his Greyside silver!!

laurentyvan

DSPC-does that come with brown shirts?

historygeek

Well, if you are a Colonel then I appoint myself "Supreme Allied Commander".

MacCrimmon

<< <i>DSPC-does that come with brown shirts? >>



No! Elverno will supply everyone with a nicely bronzed Nappy medal.

elverno

Send him to Elba! (Who is this guy...?)

historygeek

What the symbol for the DSPC?

Clankeye

<< <i>DSPC-does that come with brown shirts? >>



Yes, brown shirts. If they were more colorful people might question our originality. Not acceptable.

The Col.

Clankeye

<< <i>What the symbol for the DSPC? >>



Well, I think elverno has a pretty good candidate right there.

Anyone else have something to post as a graphic for the DSPC?

Nappy with a noose. I like it!!!

The Col.

elverno

Remember, at DSPC, "We Conquour to Set Free!"

laurentyvan

How can we be sure the lightside doesn't have a gun to your head, forcing you to potentially disruptive tactics? Lightside divisiveness is legendary after all and so far the darkside hasn't needed protection from Shiroh. (some of his car customers might tho, )

nwcs

Colonel Clank, "You know nahhhhhhthing!"

Clankeye

I have it as absolute fact, laurentvan, that one of Shiroh's next door neighbor's children's playmates heard him chuckling at an off-color joke.

This much is indisputable.

Remember: "Humor is Corrosive--We Don't Like it!"

Col.

laurentyvan

Colonel-is he worth trying to save or are you preparing the concrete overshoes?

theboz11

There will be NO MORE LAUGHING, until Morale improves.

elverno

Clankeye

Bully!!!! I look magnificent!!!

It that doesn't strike fear into the hearts of the weak-willed, slack-jawed Nancy boys, what will?

Now set up my umbrella, and we shall take tea!

Col. Clankeye

laurentyvan

Shiroh must go, the Colonel said;
if he protests, off comes his head!
To Elba, to Elba, to Elba he goes,
to live out his days with Bingo Greentoes.

Clankeye

Let us horse our Chariots of Fire and ride into battle for the greater glory of The Dark Side!!!!!!!!

theboz11

Dare I say "Feed Him to the Hungry Lion

laurentyvan

Poor Shiroh-who knows what fate the Colonel has in store for him? By looking backwards in time we can see some punishments were no fun:


By the time of Henry II, the system of law in England had been improved because Henry sent out his own judges from London to listen to cases throughout all England’s counties. Each accused person had to go through an ordeal. There were three ordeals:

Ordeal by fire. An accused person held a red hot iron bar and walked three paces. His hand was then bandaged and left for three days. If the wound was getting better after three days, you were innocent. If the wound had clearly not got any better, you were guilty.
Ordeal by water. An accused person was tied up and thrown into water. If you floated you were guilty of the crime you were accused of.
Ordeal by combat. This was used by noblemen who had been accused of something. They would fight in combat with their accuser. Whoever won was right. Whoever lost was usually dead at the end of the fight.
In 1215, the Pope decided that priests in England must not help with ordeals. As a result, ordeals were replaced by trials by juries. To start with, these were not popular with the people as they felt that their neighbours might have a grudge against them and use the opportunity of a trial to get their revenge. After 1275, a law was introduced which allowed people to be tortured if they refused to go to trial before a jury.

If you were found guilty of a crime you would expect to face a severe punishment. Thieves had their hands cut off. Women who committed murder were strangled and then burnt. People who illegally hunted in royal parks had their ears cut off and high treason was punishable by being hung, drawn and quartered. There were very few prisons as they cost money and local communities were not prepared to pay for their upkeep. It was cheaper to execute someone for bad crimes or mutilate them and then let them go.

Most towns had a gibbet just outside of it. People were hung on these and their bodies left to rot over the weeks as a warning to others. However, such violent punishments clearly did not put off people. In 1202, the city of Lincoln had 114 murders, 89 violent robberies and 65 people were wounded in fights. Only 2 people were executed for these crimes and it can be concluded that many in Lincoln got away with their crime.

elverno

We're going to need a flag...

historygeek

Weapons? Do we get weapons?

Clankeye

<< <i>We're going to need a flag... >>



Yes, an absolute must.


Laurentvan--

You shall recieve double rations this evening.


Col.

Clankeye

<< <i>Weapons? Do we get weapons? >>



HistoryGeek--

We shall go into battle armed with the knowledge that we are right and all others are wrong.


Remember: An open mind can have things put in it. It must be discouraged.



Col. Clankeye

shirohniichan

<< <i> >>



Hey, watch where you're stepping, Horse Boy!

laurentyvan

Will this flag do?

Clankeye

I retract my call for Shiroh's banning.

He's a good lad, and does collect coins of the Empire, afterall.

Carry on. Sorry to have disturbed anyone.

Right.


Col. Clankeye

Spinynorman

Reconnaissance is at standby, awaiting further orders, Sir...

elverno

Wrong guy?! Ooo... sorry about that crotch thing...

shirohniichan

<< <i>Reconnaissance is at standby, awaiting further orders, Sir...

>>



Cool moving coin, Spiny. Where can I get me one of them?

Spinynorman

It was unique until you quoted me...

Scandalmonger!

laurentyvan

I had double rations coming-never take food away from a frenchman-it's a gastronomique catastrophe!

cosmicdebris

DSPC what a great idea. Oh Col. Clankeye what position do you have for moi in your infantry?

shirohniichan

<< <i>Wrong guy?! Ooo... sorry about that crotch thing... >>



That's OK-- I've already been castrated over on the liteside, so it doesn't hurt much.

It's amazing how some people over there think they can read others' motives and intentions. Do litesiders really have that power?

ajaan

<< <i>to live out his days with Bingo Greentoes. >>


Not so fast there. Well before many of you joined the forums Shiroh wanted to bring me up before the Darkside Inquisition because I owned a slabbed darkside coin. So don't send him here. Anyway, the California boy wouldn't survive in a real climate. (It is snowing here now and the winds are steady at 30 mph.)

cosmicdebris

In case anyone's wondering THIS is the thread in question.

By the way Carl has a great joke in it.

THE BIRTH OF NUMISMATIC HUMOR-----


CoinCaveman Doops : (holding up a bone chip coin) GORP!!!!!!!!

CoinCavewoman LucyBop: BE BOP A GORP!!!!

CoinCaveman Russ: (pointing) BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!


THE BIRTH OF NUMISMATIC HUMOR----- PART 2 (A New Beginning)


CoinCaveman Doops : (holding up a bone chip coin) GORP!!!!!!!!

CoinCavewoman LucyBop: BE BOP A GORP!!!!

CoinCaveman Russ: (pointing) BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

CoinCaveman Shiroh: (excited) GORP! GORP!

--Silence--

The collected tribe beats Coincaveman Shiroh to death with large rocks.


The End

elverno

<< <i>That's OK-- I've already been castrated over on the liteside, so it doesn't hurt much. It's amazing how some people over there think they can read others' motives and intentions. Do litesiders really have that power? >>



Well, you see there's so much less to study and consequently so much more time... But for those litesiders that get snippy with us Col. Clankeye has an exit policy!

Clankeye

<< <i>Oh Col. Clankeye what position do you have for moi in your infantry? >>



Cosmic, we need men of your skills to create leaflets to drop on the enemy and totally demoralize them.

Imagine the effect of seeing their pompous faces attached to common barnyard animals. The effect would be devastating.

Are you up to the task?



Col. Clankeye

cosmicdebris

I would be honored to bomb them with leaflets sir!

P.S. I see the thread finally got yanked.

I am glad I saved your jokes.

Clankeye

It did get yanked!

Blast them! Stuff and nonsense!

Now is the perfect time to mount an attack on the Litesiders--they are confused and in disarray!

Forward lads!


Col. Clankpot

cosmicdebris

Yeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww!

ClausUrch

Jawohl Comandant Clankeye! We vil obliterate die Schweinhunds! Fur das Darkside Vaterland!

laurentyvan

Problems Colonel Clankeye- enemy message received and decoded; I will pass it on to you now:

"My Dear Colonel Clankeye,
It has come to my attention that you have attempted to rouse a rabble in defense of what you call “The Darkside”. You have coined a phrase to describe your group with the initials DSPC. It is my duty to inform you that this term is already in use and that my group is simply not amused at your ba$tardization of our name. The “Daughters of Simply Politically Correct” do not enjoy your foul sense of humour, obvious male gender bias against women (as evidenced by the many display’s of scantily clad women on the coins that your group insists on showing), and the unseemly language that is in constant use on your forum. You may not use the DSPC as it has already been in use for some time by us and the idea that we could be confused with you by anyone else is reprehensible in the extreme. You do seem to have one person in your group with some sense of proper protocol who goes by the name of Ajaan (who sometimes uses that cute little mushroom as his symbol) and we wish you would adopt a tone similar to his.

Regards, Thelma Shukhup, President DSPC"

Awaiting your response sir...

elverno

Clankeye

My dear Miss Shukhup--

As I sit in my lonely tent on this the eve of battle, I can not tell you the comfort I find in your warm words. It is as if the words themselves gathered me closely to what I am sure is your ample bosom, calming me, restoring my spirit.

If it were not so that the female sensibilty be too delicate for this rough soldier's camp, how I would wish that you were here. The whiskey and coarse words of the men, I'm sure would prove too much for such a delicate flower as yourself. But how I am sure we would all enjoy your company, over and over again, throughout this long anxious night.

Thank you for your thoughtful message. I shall remain most humbly yours.

Sincerely,

Col. Cornelious Clankeye

laurentyvan

My Dear Col. Clankeye, my grandfather's name was Cornelious and he was a man of honor, strict temperment, and even disposition and I am saddened that you share his name.. I am not so unschooled that I cannot detect sarcasm and innuendo. I shudder at what I think your insinuation means; this veiled reflection on my reputation. I sir, have had children with my husband, and I did not find it necessary to move or wiggle or whatever improper women do. My husband did his duty and that was that. You sir, are a blot on the face of good men and I will not ever enter your tent which you said was, um, where?

Thelma Shukup

Clankeye

Dear Lady,

Be sure that I meant you no disrespect. Your reputation proceeds you, madam. Often, I have stood on the streets of our city, gazing into the red light above your door. Oh, that I had but the courage to knock.

Do you not find it ironic that a soldier so steady in battle, would quake in fear when confronted with knocking on a ladies door?

Yours,

Col. Cornelius

laurentyvan

I will no longer speak to you civilly! I had hopes for you for a moment but you have dashed them all.

I have undertaken an investigation into your background-I do have my sources you know, and have been informed that you have suffered a wound in battle which would make knocking on the door you refer to, quite unneccessary. Take your blustering male ego and go. I give you the DSPC title which will no doubt please you but we have no need of it anymore. Our group has renamed itself Daughters of Correctness and Civility.

This is the last you will hear from me and I can only hope that the good lord can effect a change in your behavior so that you do not suffer the agonies of Hades when the time comes.

From a far remove, Thelma Shukhup

Clankeye

Now listen here you Strumpet--

Are you not the same Thelma Shukup arrested for public solicitation during last years Waterloo Ball? I know this to be the case as the complainant was one Sgt. MacCrimmon of this same regiment.

I will consider further correspondence from you to be harassment. Do not force my hand in public, dear lady, or the consequences will be dire.

Good day to you.

Col. Clankeye