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OT - In a hole in the ground there lived an Ajaan

In a hole in the ground there lived an Ajaan. Not a tidy, clean, dry hole, filled with fine furnishings, nor a warm cozy hole with soft chairs to sit down on: it was an Ajaan hole, and that means filth.

This Ajaan was a not very well-to-do Ajaan, and his name was Bingo Greentoe. The Greentoes had lived in this hole for time out of mind, and people considered them very un-respectable, not only because they were dirty and poor, but because they had very bad manners. The Greentoes never had any adventures, not because they didn't care to, but because no wizard or dwarf would stop by their shabby Ajaan hole. This is the story of how Bingo Greentoe almost had an adventure.

One day Bingo Greentoe awoke to a knock on his door, which was perfectly round, unpainted and falling off it's hinges. Bingo jumped out of bed, which was really only a pile of straw on his muddy floor, and triped over a pile of cheap malt liquor bottles on his way to the door. Cursing and drunk Bingo answered the door. To his suprise it was not the police come to take him away again, but a tall wizard dressed in gray. The wizard looked down at the dirty little Ajaan and said sternly "Bingo Greentoe, you are drunk and half naked, put on your trousers!" Bingo stumbled back to his pile of dirty straw cursing as he went and found his trousers. He then returned to the wizard and said "I shall be taking Halfpenny ale at 4 p.m., will you join me?" The disgusted wizard said "I should rather be turned to stone and used as a perch for filthy pigeons, good day Sire Greentoe!" Bingo remained very drunk and poor to the end of his days, and those were extraordinarily short.

image
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Comments

  • image Will there be official coins? image
    Vern
    image
    You want how much?!!
    NapoleonicMedals.org
    (Last update 3/6/2007)


  • << <i>image Will there be official coins? image >>

    If there are can you come and get me and Don at the pub?.. Thanks
    Becoming informed but still trying to learn every day!
    1-Dammit Boy Oct 14,2003

    International Coins
    "A work in progress"


    Wayne
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  • laurentyvanlaurentyvan Posts: 4,243 ✭✭✭
    Heavy the head that bears the crown... welcome gentle bard to your new incarnation as storyteller
    image
    One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics
    is that you end up being governed by inferiors. – Plato
  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    Next week I'll tell the tale of how Bingo Greentoe pawned a magic ring for PBR money.
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  • << <i>Next week I'll tell the tale of how Bingo Greentoe pawned a magic ring for PBR money. >>

    Don't you dare tell them I gave him money for that!
    Becoming informed but still trying to learn every day!
    1-Dammit Boy Oct 14,2003

    International Coins
    "A work in progress"


    Wayne
    eBay registered name:
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    e-mail: [email protected]
  • wybritwybrit Posts: 6,952 ✭✭✭
    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage
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    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage
    Former owner, Cambridge Gate collection.
  • lordmarcovanlordmarcovan Posts: 43,194 ✭✭✭✭✭
    What wybrit said.

    PBR money? image

    Explore collections of lordmarcovan on CollecOnline, management, safe-keeping, sharing and valuation solution for art piece and collectibles.
  • ajaanajaan Posts: 17,028 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I just have this to say: Mr. aethelbore, Mrs. ajaan did not like your reference to 'filth'. She prides herself in keeping this mad house, oh! sorry, mad hole, clean. She is gunning for you.

    DPOTD-3
    'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery'

    CU #3245 B.N.A. #428


    Don
  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭


    << <i>I just have this to say: Mr. aethelbore, Mrs. ajaan did not like your reference to 'filth'. She prides herself in keeping this mad house, oh! sorry, mad hole, clean. She is gunning for you. >>



    image

    I am sure she does the best she can under the circumstances!
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

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  • See, now you've done it. Gotten Mrs. Ajaan Greentoe all in an up roar, not even old dead Kings are safe now. image
    Terry

    eBay Store

    DPOTD Jan 2005, Meet the Darksiders
  • A ripping good yarn!

    Clankeye
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • Good story, Aethelred. Tell us more. image
    currently owned by 5 Labradors

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  • ajaanajaan Posts: 17,028 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Beth, please don't encourage him.

    DPOTD-3
    'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery'

    CU #3245 B.N.A. #428


    Don
  • Oops. image Sorry, Don. image
    currently owned by 5 Labradors

    Blaze - Yellow male b 3/17/93
    Onyx - Black male b 3/7/99
    Duchess - Yellow female mix b 3/12/02 rescued 9/18/02
    Rifle - Yellow male mix b 12/1/02 rescued 8/8/03
    Diamond - Black female b 5/3/05 adopted 8/3/05

    First Cam-slam - 9/21/04

    My eBay
  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    PBR = Pabst Blue Ribbon
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

    WNC Coins, LLC
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  • 1jester1jester Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭
    That was so funny it was almost un-boring....image

    imageimageimage
    .....GOD
    image

    "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." -Luke 11:9

    "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." -Deut. 6:4-5

    "For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; He will save us." -Isaiah 33:22
  • AskariAskari Posts: 3,713
    image
    Askari



    Come on over ... to The Dark Side! image
  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    Peter Jackson just called......
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

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  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭


    << <i>Good story, Aethelred. Tell us more. image >>



    I am working on a three part tale "Lord of the Coins" which will be published as follows:

    Fellowship of the Coin
    The Two Holders
    Return of the PVC

    This will tell the tale of how Bingo broke into a dragon's cave and made off with a coin collection that was owned by an evil wizard. I don't want to spoil the ending, but there is a lot of boozing and nakedness. Little Bingo spends most of the tale passed-out or in the drunk tank of the Mirkwood Co. Jail.
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

    WNC Coins, LLC
    1987-C Hendersonville Road
    Asheville, NC 28803


    wnccoins.com


  • << <i>

    << <i>Good story, Aethelred. Tell us more. image >>



    I am working on a three part tale "Lord of the Coins" which will be published as follows:

    Fellowship of the Coin
    The Two Holders
    Return of the PVC

    This will tell the tale of how Bingo broke into a dragon's cave and made off with a coin collection that was owned by an evil wizard. I don't want to spoil the ending, but there is a lot of boozing and nakedness. Little Bingo spends most of the tale passed-out or in the drunk tank of the Mirkwood Co. Jail. >>


    OK....you got me. I just Paypaled a bunch of bucks for the video....... now carry on..image
    Becoming informed but still trying to learn every day!
    1-Dammit Boy Oct 14,2003

    International Coins
    "A work in progress"


    Wayne
    eBay registered name:
    Hard_ Search (buyer/bidder, a small time seller)
    e-mail: [email protected]
  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    We are going to ask Gary Coleman to star in the film!
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

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  • mongoosemongoose Posts: 589 ✭✭
    imageimageimageimage
    Joe
  • This got better while I was away. image
    Terry

    eBay Store

    DPOTD Jan 2005, Meet the Darksiders
  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    Bingo is still upset about this!image
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

    WNC Coins, LLC
    1987-C Hendersonville Road
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    wnccoins.com
  • image
    Vern
    image
    You want how much?!!
    NapoleonicMedals.org
    (Last update 3/6/2007)
  • coinkatcoinkat Posts: 22,657 ✭✭✭✭✭
    What a relief... I am not the only one who drinks PBRimageimageimage

    Experience the World through Numismatics...it's more than you can imagine.

  • lordmarcovanlordmarcovan Posts: 43,194 ✭✭✭✭✭
    image

    Explore collections of lordmarcovan on CollecOnline, management, safe-keeping, sharing and valuation solution for art piece and collectibles.
  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    I'd rather have a stout ice cold Guinness!
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

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  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    Bingo seems to be away on an adventure tonight!
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

    WNC Coins, LLC
    1987-C Hendersonville Road
    Asheville, NC 28803


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  • 1jester1jester Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭
    As they say, every Greentoe has his day!

    imageimageimage
    .....GOD
    image

    "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." -Luke 11:9

    "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." -Deut. 6:4-5

    "For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; He will save us." -Isaiah 33:22
  • ajaanajaan Posts: 17,028 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I see no need for this thread to be brought back to life. It was a dud thread from day one, and still is.

    DPOTD-3
    'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery'

    CU #3245 B.N.A. #428


    Don
  • wybritwybrit Posts: 6,952 ✭✭✭
    tttimage
    Former owner, Cambridge Gate collection.
  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    I see Greentoe is back from his "adventure!"image
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

    WNC Coins, LLC
    1987-C Hendersonville Road
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  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    My hand was forced and I had to bring this one back.image
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

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  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    I wanted the following by Laurent in the same place as my original Ajaan tale:

    "In a light, airy castle in the sky there lived an Ajaan. Not a thing of twigs and silks this castle, but of cleanly hewn rock, brick and mortar. It was filled with all manner of writing desks and comfortable chairs and cubby holes and secret places where his treasures could be put and retrieved as needed.

    This Ajaan was well-to do, and his name was Bingo Goldbutton, as he had sewn gold coins to his vest instead of buttons. The Goldbuttons had lived in their castle for many generations, and everyone in the surrounding countryside respected them, and called the Goldbuttons genteel and mannerly and generous, as several times a year Ajaan Goldbutton would pass out precious coins, extra’s from his burgeoning coin business. This is a story of how he sidestepped an adventure and took revenge on his only enemy.

    One early morning Bingo heard a knock on his door. He opened it slowly, as it was massive and of intricately carved oak, the door swinging open on silent, well-oiled hinges. An old man stood at his door, unwashed, unkempt, and smelling of sausages and fish. Ajaan had never seen someone so thin, and touched by pity invited the beggar inside.

    “Old man,” he asked, what is your name?”
    “My name is Aethelred” the old man answered, throwing off his old coat and revealing well-worn armor and sword.
    “Aethelred,” Bingo exclaimed, “my sworn enemy.”
    “Aye, and today ‘tis your doom! No more will I allow you to steal business from me. Your slabbed coins are more respected than mine, and you undercut me on gold! You gave away hammered coins and charge less for shipping. Prepare to meet your maker.”

    With that, Aethelred pulled his sword and made as if to strike.

    “Stay your hand, OLD DEAD KING,” Ajaan intoned, his powerful voice echoing through the castle halls. “I KNOW YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE!”
    Ajaan gestured with his hands, fingers forming intricate designs in mid-air. A glowing orb of light appeared in front of the old dead king who threw himself backwards in horror.
    “No, not that, please!” he exclaimed but Ajaan was already speaking his words of power.

    “Ike, Ike, take this enemy of mine,
    and place your spell upon his eyes
    so that all coins he sees are thine.”

    With a sudden swooshing sound the ball of light darted around the room three times and then struck Aethelred full in the face. The dead king staggered and recoiled, and then glanced at a nearby desk where lay some coins. He moaned in despair, and turning, staggered out the door as fast as his skeletal legs would allow.
    Ajaan smiled at the effect of his spell, which allowed the cursed to see only Eisenhower dollars, regardless of what coins he was actually looking at.
    “Lucky I wasn’t really mad,” Ajaan muttered, “I could have used my Churchill spell and really ruined his days.”

    And with that matter handled, Ajaan turned to a warm, delicious, and well-deserved breakfast."
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

    WNC Coins, LLC
    1987-C Hendersonville Road
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  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    A classic (in my twisted mind) thread brought back from the dead.
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

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  • wybritwybrit Posts: 6,952 ✭✭✭
    image Great retread!
    Former owner, Cambridge Gate collection.
  • coinkatcoinkat Posts: 22,657 ✭✭✭✭✭
    entertaining and well written... for an old dead king.

    Experience the World through Numismatics...it's more than you can imagine.

  • 1jester1jester Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭
    Nice classic thread!!!

    imageimageimage
    .....GOD
    image

    "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." -Luke 11:9

    "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." -Deut. 6:4-5

    "For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; He will save us." -Isaiah 33:22
  • AuldFartteAuldFartte Posts: 4,597 ✭✭✭✭
    I wasn't here a year ago or I'd have commented then, but ...

    That's the funniest thing I've seen in a loooong time !!! image

    You really should consider writing more, Aethelred !!! image
    image

    My OmniCoin Collection
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    Tom, formerly in Albuquerque, NM.
  • shirohniichanshirohniichan Posts: 4,992 ✭✭✭


    << <i>We are going to ask Gary Coleman to star in the film! >>



    Don't get me involved!
    image
    Obscurum per obscurius
  • So why are his toes green?
    Bill

    image

    09/07/2006
  • ajaanajaan Posts: 17,028 ✭✭✭✭✭


    << <i>So why are his toes green? >>


    Bill, any reference to green toes is just one of aethelbore's hallucinations.

    DPOTD-3
    'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery'

    CU #3245 B.N.A. #428


    Don
  • <<aethelbore's hallucinations>>

    Must be the shrooms. image
    Bill

    image

    09/07/2006


  • << <i>

    << <i>So why are his toes green? >>


    Bill, any reference to green toes is just one of aethelbore's hallucinations. >>



    Must be all that PVC.

    Return of the PVC...that got a giggle outta me. image
  • wybritwybrit Posts: 6,952 ✭✭✭
    ttt - for Gunners fans.image
    Former owner, Cambridge Gate collection.


  • << <i>So why are his toes green? >>

    What? You've never seen "The Rocky-Hole Horror Picture Show" and its revelations of the goings-on in Ajaansylvania?image
    Askari



    Come on over ... to The Dark Side! image
  • AethelredAethelred Posts: 9,288 ✭✭✭
    ttt because Ajaan had it coming!image
    If you are in the Western North Carolina area, please consider visiting our coin shop:

    WNC Coins, LLC
    1987-C Hendersonville Road
    Asheville, NC 28803


    wnccoins.com
  • wybritwybrit Posts: 6,952 ✭✭✭
    Heh. Don't let this thread ever get in the archives. image
    Former owner, Cambridge Gate collection.
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