Forcing Curmudgeon To Sell Me His '58 Hires Test Mays

PSAtan

I want it. Anybody have any decent advice regarding strategy? Also, any good stories about overpaying or overtrading for a card another collector wouldn't part with?

Tomorrow's forecast - 198 degrees with no breeze for the 73rd millionth day,

Satan

LuxuryWines

Satan,

Plagues,locusts and famine seem to have worked for you in the past....

Robby

Satan The pen is Mightier than the Sword ! You seem to have a knack for pestering people to Death ! Keep at it , I'm sure you'll win out in the end ! Enjoy your sense of humor ! Robby

curmudgeon

Indeed,

I find myself growing progressively weaker. What diabolical spell have you cast, demonmeister? I must glance anew at the splendor of the Mays to regroup my strength. By the way, I live in Phoenix, so threats of hell's heat and no breeze have little influence on me. I've never been crazy about bugs, though, so that locust thing might work.

Up your offer and strip me of my resolve (wait a minute, strike that--sounds too much like a scene from a bondage movie).

theBobs

Perhaps you can take your own advice from your People's Court appearance on Saturday Night Live in 1986? Just remember if you are going to harass, go all the way

Mephistopheles: Now, you listen to me, I'm Mephistopheles, Prince of Darkness! When I start harassing you, you'll know it! ...



<edit>
The People's Court

Judge Wopner.....Phil Hartman
Vonda Braithwaite.....Rosanna Arquette
Mephistopheles.....Jon Lovitz


Judge Wopner: Now, Miss Braithwaite, in your deposition you state that, shortly after you started your business and went into agreement with the Devil, your business actually began to lose money. Now, is this your idea of success in business, Mr. Mephistopheles?

Mephistopheles: [ with a smirk ] Well, your Honor, that was kind of a trick. You see, as I promised Miss Braithwaite, I made her a great hairdresser. Her coifs were magical. Once you got one, you never needed another.

Judge Wopner: So there was no repeat business?

Mephistopheles: Exactly! But it's more or less customary for me to cheat mortals in this way. By observing only the letter of the agreement. For example, I'll give someone eternal youth, then have them sentenced to life imprisonment. That sort of thing. It's pretty standard. I'm the Devil!
Judge Wopner: Now, according to Miss Braithwaite's deposition, shortly after she filed the lawsuit, you began to harass her. Is that correct?

Mephistopheles: Your Honor, that is totally ridiculous.

Vonda Braithwaite: [ enraged ] What about coming to my house in the form of a black cat!

Mephistopheles: That was probably a black cat.

Vonda's Mother: Well, what about throwing all that garbage into our yard! What was that!

Mephistopheles: I did not put garbage into your yard!

Vonda Braithwaite: Who hit my car in the parking lot, it didn't dent by itself!

Mephistopheles: Now, you listen to me, I'm Mephistopheles, Prince of Darkness! When I start harassing you, you'll know it!

<close edit>

murcerfan

Curmmy,
sell that ugly thing already

PSAtan

Yes. Yes. Everything is proceeding as planned. Bobs great pull on the SNL skit. Murcerfan, your check will be arriving shortly. Curmudgeon, you've stopped bugging me. Your insect-like stubborness felt like a big hairy tarantula in my pants. I was getting the same futile feeling as the time I tried to exterminate the roach once and for all. But, it appears we see our A's, BEES and C's the same now. How many times a centipede's legs do you want? Don't be shy. Ask for a lot. It's not like I can just wave my tail and infest your house with yam-sized termites. Nor can I summon a hoard of angry wasps in Arizona (I actually can in Kennebunkport and East Hampton). My concern is that the card not deteriorate into a million little orange ants that cover your floor. Those ants can build a seven foot high hive in a just a few days. I've seen those ants pull chimpanzees into the hive headfirst. How tall are you?

Also, I'd toss these bondage movies in with the deal -

1) Fist and Cuffs
2) A Fist Called "Wanda"
3) Help Momma Pull A Train
4) The Young and the Merciless
5) Leather Island
6) You Actually Like It. You Actually Like It.

Give me a number that makes it fair for you. However, even Satan went wrong and bought tech stocks so don't break my back.

Your new cuddly aphid,

Satan

mrc32

I nominate thee for the worst thread of the year!!!!

PSAtan

I'm willing to bet I come up with stupider posts in the future.

Best Collection By A Transexual
1960 Leaf - The Greatest Set Ever Produced
Great Baseball Card Finds In Iceland
Anybody Ever Swallow A Card?
Announcing My New Grading Service - CGBAC - Cards Graded By Actual Chickens
Shouldn't Tobacco Cards Have An Additional Tax on Them
Kirk Gibson For President
I'll Pillow Fight Anyone For Their Cards

You see, I've only just begun.

Be well, buddy.

Satan

curmudgeon

OK PSatan,

You're starting to creep me out. Last night I get home, and find a thousand or so ants parading around my kitchen and dining room. They're flippin everywhere!!! What are you doing, starting with the small stuff and working your way up? I don't mind ants so much, but if you sic the sewer roaches into my house they'll have to sell my collection to pay for my rubber room at Camp Mindbegone.

Since no one else seems interested in this ongoing saga for my Hires Test Mays, I'd suggest that you move your best offer to a pm, unless your objective is simply to cajole or browbeat me into submission, you fiend.

Mudge

P.S. Your interest has actually spurred me into thinking about listing the Mays on EBay--hope you're happy you sick freak.

theBobs

Ants? Ants? He's Mephistopheles, Prince of Darkness! When he's start harassing you, you'll know it!

PSAtan

Cur (Can I call you that?),

Bobs is right. The ants are a little beneath me. Big on that in my formative years. Besides, I'm not actively pursuing insect torture due to some union issues. Right now, I'm really concentrating on rats up through the toilet when you're pooping, human fingertips in cans of Chef Boyardee and searing fire.

I'm not ashamed of this thread either. They can ridicule us, beat us and stick our love notes way up our chutes o'waste, but I'm in love with your card and I'm going to sing it at the top of my lungs. We owe it to our sisters to stand tall and keep our just plucked chins up while that uncouth legion of baseball card hom0haters tries to tear us apart.

Also, don't put the card on ebay. I'll have to get mean. Probably make you fall asleep in a jacuzzi and wake up a pot roast. Send me a number privately and I'll get you a check/paypal/whatever.

Whatever Satan wants...is always in the hands of some hardball negotiator that tears my bank account apart.

Also, I'll pay for the can of Raid.

S.

PSAtan

Bobs, I appreciate the fan mail. Yes, I like to really do something large and grotesque to announce my presence with authority. Yes - You will know it when I mess with you. Yes - I'm the Prince of Darkness and carry that wonderful title forever. However, you wouldn't believe the permits and paperwork I have to fill out these days. Being "the fallen one" was pretty years back. I was the meanest one down here. Now, all I do is put out fires (Word pun - 50 pts.) Do you think I could ever be as mean as Ivan Boesky? I got these serial killers down here that make it impossible to go out at night. Also, these Hollywood mogul types are more annoying than a javelin stuck in the middle of your back. Quite frankly, I'm thinking of retiring. Maybe Mudge will rent me a room.

What I'd give for a good cigar, a nice sphvitz in a sauna and a young Irish virgin.

Stan A. - I could get a drivers license with one little typo.

goodriddance189

PSAtan-

a few questions-

1. how old are you?
2. what drugs do you take?
3. and can i have some?

-Will

murcerfan

older , wiser and None of your business,

murcerfan

Satan,
e-mail me please. (terwilliger@charter.net)
this is sad and i can tollerate it no more.