Finely Aged Gum

PSAtan · August 22, 2003 5:43PM

I opened a couple of packs of 1981 Donruss and got this stange urge - Yeah. You guessed. I tried the 22 year old gum. It was the color of bologna after a month in the African Veldt sun. It didn't have a taste, but what frustrated me more was the fact that it wouldn't form a piece of gum. It just shattered like a mirror and stayed in sharp little shards. Two guys had to leave the room and one guy turned purple. I didn't think it was a big deal. I don't think '81 was a good vintage for gum.

I'm willing to chew a 50 year old piece of gum if someone will contribute an unopened pack of 1953 Topps. I don't want the cards, rather I just want the gum. If people will sponsor me per chew (Maybe a dollar), I'll donate the proceeds to a childrens' hospital. I doubt I can make it past five chew so it looks like a five dollar donation. On the fourth chew, I get this premonition of a Roseanne Barr yeast infection growing in my throat and spit it out. However, when that 50 year old piece of gum goes in my yap, I promise all of you something as entertaining as the film, Matrix 2.

Videotapes will be for sale too. Again, all proceeds going to a charity. Anyone have any pay-per-view connections?

Making the world a better place,

Satan

Tipem · August 22, 2003 6:02PM

Satan,

You are one sick man!!!!!!

Nice to have you on the boards.

Vic

dude · August 22, 2003 8:31PM

<<I tried the 22 year old gum. It was the color of bologna after a month in the African Veldt sun. It didn't have a taste, but what frustrated me more was the fact that it wouldn't form a piece of gum. It just shattered like a mirror and stayed in sharp little shards. Two guys had to leave the room and one guy turned purple. >>

Yeah, that's bad, but it's nothing like getting salmonella like I did last year from my 1954 Wilson Franks warehouse find.

Wabittwax · August 22, 2003 8:59PM

I tried a gum from a 1975 Topps pack I opened a couple years ago. It really didn't have much taste and it seemed to dissolve in my mouth instead of turning into gum. The other day I opened a pack of 1967 Donruss The Monkees. The gum was so bad looking that I didn't attempted to try it. It was light yellow with spots of dark yellow, kinda like a leopard. I couldn't bring myself to do it, although I gave it a thought.

RedHeart54 · August 22, 2003 10:34PM

It's the thought that counts.

thegemmintman · August 22, 2003 11:01PM

A few months ago I tried gum from a 1964 Topps Giants pack. Ok we're talking 39 year old gum here! It tasted like sweet shrapnel. My teeth were aching for an hour afterwards.

Now who can beat 39 year old gum? Come on we know you sickos are out there.

Griffins · August 23, 2003 12:31AM

I decided to try it- I have an unopened pack of '70 Donruss Odd Rods, and remember the gum being a little bit more rubbery than Topps gum, so I thought it would hold up a little better. I ripped the pack open and not only did it not have gum, there were a bunch of '96 Topps commons in there. So much for buying unopened stuff on ebay!

<<<On the fourth chew, I get this premonition of a Roseanne Barr yeast infection growing in my throat and spit it out>>>

Satan, if you aren't Caramels you are definitely his also evil twin!

goodriddance189 · August 23, 2003 12:54AM

hahahahahahahahaha

PSAtan · August 23, 2003 1:08AM

Love you all. Right now, the record is 39 year old gum. JFK was being buried as this gum was being made. And, remember, the sickest minds have advanced society the most. It takes centuries to put achievement in perspective. I'm proud of every single one of you.

Best,

Satan

mrc32 · August 23, 2003 1:11AM

PSAtan
I have enjoyed your posts. One question: what do you collect?

Just wondering-
Mrc32

PS- Sorry for the off topic post

Griffins · August 23, 2003 2:43AM

MRC- He collects peoples eternal souls!

Fuzz · August 23, 2003 3:15AM

Have a piece of gum from a 1959 Topps 1 cent pack that I opened to get the wrapper. Also opened a 1955 Topps All-American 1 cent pack that I bought from a promenient dealer that was clearly resealed 9card was vg on all four corners though the wrapper was clean and the gum was a late 70's vintage). Topps changed the size of the gum in most years for wax packs. The correct size of the gum is a closely guarded secret among wax pack authenticators. No joke. Paul Wright, who I believe authenicates for GAI has the best collection and most knowledge of the topic. My best piece of gum is giant grape slab from 1970, again opened to get the wrapper for the collection. It is bigger than a normal card and about 1/2 inch thick. Trying to chew that could kill some one.
Fuzz

RobE · August 23, 2003 3:26AM

Well,this brings new meaning to "Jaw breaker."
We're not talking about an old bottle of Scotch.
I would think this would be like trying to bite into a brick.
Isn't sugar poisionous or something after a number of years?
Have fun in your new found hobby experiment/addiction.

thegemmintman · August 23, 2003 8:33AM

<< <i>Have a piece of gum from a 1959 Topps 1 cent pack that I opened to get the wrapper. >>

Yes, but did you sample the cuisine?

thegemmintman · August 23, 2003 8:36AM

<< <i>Isn't sugar poisionous or something after a number of years? >>

Oh my God! That explains my brief coma!

sellerman23 · August 23, 2003 11:44AM

When I first started collecting in the late 1980's, the people at the card shop thought I was crazy eating gum I pulled from packs as early as 1982.
A couple years ago, I cracked a couple cellos from 1971 and happily scarfed down the gum from those as well. In my opinion, the aging does not make it much better. How many of you could actually make a good wad from the packs from the current year (when they were available)?

Dave

purelyPSA · August 23, 2003 4:19PM

Back when I was a kid I had a friend who loved the gum. He'd go in halfsies on packs - I got the cards, he got the gum. Now that was a good friend to have. Unfortunately a lot of that was 81 Topps as I recall.

ChrisKK · August 24, 2003 12:23AM

well 1964 has me beat. i have only gone back to 1970 topps wax packs. i thought the gum was good, lasted only half the day and felt like rubber by then. what do i know, my nose has been broken so many times i have a limmited sence of taste.

chris

brucemo · August 24, 2003 6:01AM

I ate 1974 Topps gum in 1974. It takes about like 1990 Topps gum eaten in 2002, but the 1990 gum dissolves into nothing almost instantly.

I ate 1981 Donruss Gum in 1981. If I recall correctly, it was nowhere near as good as Topps gum. Wait, did 1981 Donruss even have gum? I might be confusing it with Fleer gum. Fleer had the worst gum. It is obviously true that the people who designed Fleer cards also designed the Fleer gum.

bruce

mrc32 · August 24, 2003 6:04AM

The real question has anyone eaten a 1954 Wilson Frank or a 1963 Fleer cookie????

God help you if you had some 1954 Red Heart Dog Food......

Virtualizard · August 24, 2003 6:33AM

How about ripping open a pack of 1909 Sweet Caporals or Piedmonts, any card would be a nice pull, but would you smoke one?

Or how about some 50 year old Red Man? That stuff would be pretty dried up by now!

JEB.

mrc32 · August 24, 2003 6:37AM

Jeb-
If I was guaranteed to pull a card from one of those packs, I sure would smoke one. I'd even smoke the entire pack!

Virtualizard · August 24, 2003 6:45AM

<< <i>Jeb-
If I was guaranteed to pull a card from one of those packs, I sure would smoke one. I'd even smoke the entire pack!

>>

Hell, if I was guaranteed to pull a MINT Mantle, Musial, or Snider, I would be willing to sample some 1954 Red Heart!

JEB.

PSAtan · August 27, 2003 7:17PM

I think this brings us to the question - Would you cut open your cat if he/she swallowed your 1956 Ted Williams Topps pin? Of course, this would be after it didn't pass in your cat's stool for a week and all hope was lost.

Hypotheticals fascinate me,

Satan

KING KELLOGG · August 28, 2003 1:29AM

You can't eat Red Heart???????

......(burp..)....

Are you sure ????

The cards are great 'ya know..........

Larry

Rainman · August 28, 2003 3:42AM

HAHA I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who chews the old gum. Unfortunately, I can't top the 39 yo gum record. The oldest I've chewed was from 1980 topps...and most recently 3 sticks from 1985 topps...I always enjoyed the topps gum, but unfortunately after 18-23 years, the gum was rather hard and dissolved...and it had lost some of that classic topps flavor.

RobE · August 29, 2003 3:52AM

I wonder if any of your medical insurance includes accidental death by consuming dated goods.

Hope so.

gtbeaker · August 29, 2003 4:31AM

On a similar topic, I opened a wax box of 1981 Topps baseball last summer, and thought I would take a bite out of the "gum" (whatever made it gum at one point is no longer there). After that sampling, I put the remaining pieces in a Ziploc bag and have the bag pinned up to my dry erase board at work. It's a good coversation tool, and every now and then I find someone who wants to give a piece a try!

Finely Aged Gum

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