Coin Jokes

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JohnZ
JohnZ Posts: 1,732 ✭
in U.S. Coin Forum
Does anyone know any good coin jokes I can steal? (I hope this isn't OT.)

We ARE watching you.

image

Comments

  • LincolnCentMan
    LincolnCentMan Posts: 5,347 ✭✭✭✭
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    What kind of horse is on the Deleware quarter?....











    ...a quarter horse.

    Best wishes,
    David

    P.S. I didnt pen the joke and have no clue who did.
    Lincolncentman Toned Lincolns
  • wallstreetman
    wallstreetman Posts: 2,938 ✭
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    Not a coin joke but pretty funny!

    A guy comes home from work, hits the couch and turns on the T.V. He yells to his wife to bring him a beer before it starts.

    His wife comes from the kitchen and brings him a beer.

    No sooner does she reach the kitchen and he says " can you bring me another beer before it starts"?

    His wife brings him another beer.

    He guzzles the beer down and before she can even reach the kitchen asks " can you bring me another beer before it starts"?

    She goes into the kitchen, gets a beer, walks up to him and slams the beer down on the coffee table. She says " I cook, I clean, I do the dishes, wash your clothes, Im not going to be your waitress"!

    He just shakes his head and says " its started already"!
    You can fool man but you can't fool God! He knows why you do what you do!
  • Placid
    Placid Posts: 11,299 ✭✭✭
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    ACG image
  • dpoole
    dpoole Posts: 5,940 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    ...a quarter horse.

    That's pretty coiny. image

    Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...



  • Placid
    Placid Posts: 11,299 ✭✭✭
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    What did the idiot do with his first 50¢ piece?
    He married it.

    So the hooker comes back to the pimp and hands him $5.10, the pimp asks what guy gave you a dime?
    The hooker say's they all did.
  • Dog97
    Dog97 Posts: 7,874 ✭✭✭
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    What's slang for a Sac dollar?
    Squawbuck! hahahahhahahahaha
    Change that we can believe in is that change which is 90% silver.
  • Woodwind
    Woodwind Posts: 486 ✭
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    Okay, I have one. It's a bit raunchy, so beware.

    An experienced hunter is asked to take his clutzy, not-so-smart younger brother out on a hunting excursion. As they are both crouching down quietly in the woods waiting for deer, the younger brother whispers, "Hey I gotta go to the bathroom."

    The experienced hunter replies back in a whisper, "There are no bathrooms near here. Go behind a tree and take your leak as quietly as possible."

    The brother whispers back, "But I gotta take a dump."

    "A dump? Geesh. Then go back that way, dig a hole and bury it when you're done. Do it quietly or else you'll scare the animals away."

    "But what to I wipe with?"

    "I don't know. Use a leaf or something. Just go."

    "But what if there are poisonous plants out there?"

    "Use something else then. Find something. Try a dollar."

    At that, the younger brother goes away and does his business. A few minutes later, the younger brother comes back with his fingers completely covered in his own waste.

    The older brother asks, "What happened?"

    "Well, you suggested I use a dollar to wipe, so I used two quarters, three dimes, and four nickles."

    image
    Lurking proudly on internet forums since 2001
  • Cam40
    Cam40 Posts: 8,146 ✭
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    whats the difference between Beer nuts and Deer nuts.


    Beer nuts are around $1.75
    and Deer nuts are always under a buck.
  • Cam40
    Cam40 Posts: 8,146 ✭
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    Two ACG coins walk into a building...........you,d think one of them would have seen it.
  • Rnealw
    Rnealw Posts: 43
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    Where did the first copperwire come from?







    Two coin collectors fighting over a DCAM proof Cent.


    Rotten Rodney
    "There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental
    illness."
    Remember. ... First pillage, Then burn

    image
  • Cam40
    Cam40 Posts: 8,146 ✭
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    ruh roh.

    hope that wasnt taken as anti-semetic by some here.



    image
  • airplanenut
    airplanenut Posts: 22,763 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    << <i>ruh roh.

    hope that wasnt taken as anti-semetic by some here.

    image >>

    Not anti-semetic, but clearly uncalled for and insulting.
    JK Coin Photography - eBay Consignments | High Quality Photos | LOW Prices | 20% of Consignment Proceeds Go to Pancreatic Cancer Research
  • Bear
    Bear Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
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    The remark was in poor tast and in fact insulting.

    A little restraint and self dicipline seems called for.image
    There once was a place called
    Camelotimage
  • Mrpawn
    Mrpawn Posts: 595
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    Coin Jokes

    Sacajaweja dollar

    SBA dollar

    There are a few more
    eBay Auctions
  • Mrpawn
    Mrpawn Posts: 595
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    My neice pulled this one on me...

    Look at the reverse of Memorial cent - see Lincoln sitting there ?


    Now look at the reverse of the CT quarter - do you see the hitchhiker standing by the tree?


















    NO?





    looks like she got a rideimage






    edited to correct dumb spelling error
    eBay Auctions
  • Cam40
    Cam40 Posts: 8,146 ✭
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    hitchhiker by the tree.............LOL.

    Thats a cute kiddie coin joke.
  • OAKSTAR
    OAKSTAR Posts: 8,770 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )

  • Steven59
    Steven59 Posts: 11,230 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    "When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"

  • Steven59
    Steven59 Posts: 11,230 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    "When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"

  • TwoSides2aCoin
    TwoSides2aCoin Posts: 45,217 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    My all time favorite :

    Teacher: Johnny, if you had a quarter in one pocket, and a nickel in the other pocket, what would you have ?

    Johnny: Well that's easy teach'. I'd have somebody else's pants on .

  • The_Dinosaur_Man
    The_Dinosaur_Man Posts: 1,592 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Since 1965, no one has been able to find a naked dime or quarter. You know why that is? They're all clad.

    Custom album maker and numismatic photographer.
    Need a personalized album made? Design it on the website below and I'll build it for you.
    https://www.donahuenumismatics.com/.

  • OAKSTAR
    OAKSTAR Posts: 8,770 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 7, 2023 8:39PM
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    Key date.

    Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )

  • The_Dinosaur_Man
    The_Dinosaur_Man Posts: 1,592 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    You can tell someone has good taste in music when they don't return their bottles and cans. They don't want that nickelback.

    Custom album maker and numismatic photographer.
    Need a personalized album made? Design it on the website below and I'll build it for you.
    https://www.donahuenumismatics.com/.

  • The_Dinosaur_Man
    The_Dinosaur_Man Posts: 1,592 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Why did the coin roll hunter pursue only nickels? He had a five cent interest rate.

    Custom album maker and numismatic photographer.
    Need a personalized album made? Design it on the website below and I'll build it for you.
    https://www.donahuenumismatics.com/.

  • OAKSTAR
    OAKSTAR Posts: 8,770 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Those are really clever @The_Dinosaur_Man!!

    Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )

  • The_Dinosaur_Man
    The_Dinosaur_Man Posts: 1,592 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Why don't vampires smile in coin shops? They can't be seen with DMPLs.

    Custom album maker and numismatic photographer.
    Need a personalized album made? Design it on the website below and I'll build it for you.
    https://www.donahuenumismatics.com/.

  • The_Dinosaur_Man
    The_Dinosaur_Man Posts: 1,592 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Where did the wife send her numismatist husband after a heated argument? Back to his quarters.

    Custom album maker and numismatic photographer.
    Need a personalized album made? Design it on the website below and I'll build it for you.
    https://www.donahuenumismatics.com/.

  • The_Dinosaur_Man
    The_Dinosaur_Man Posts: 1,592 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    How does the grim reaper like numismatists? Slabbed.

    Custom album maker and numismatic photographer.
    Need a personalized album made? Design it on the website below and I'll build it for you.
    https://www.donahuenumismatics.com/.

  • johnny9434
    johnny9434 Posts: 34,068 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    What ever makes cents, fwiw

  • Coinscratch
    Coinscratch Posts: 11,086 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    This must be the best question ever asked here on these here boards...Over 20 years and less than 15 responses!

    Nobody has the answer... not even...and dare I say..., ..., @MFeld might have something to say....

  • OAKSTAR
    OAKSTAR Posts: 8,770 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )

  • Bullsitter
    Bullsitter Posts: 6,295 ✭✭✭✭✭
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  • Fraz
    Fraz Posts: 2,118 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    The Delaware quarter is a funny coin. Maybe you can work this schtick into something.
    I did not know that Paul Revere was from Delaware.
    He named his thoroughbred Caesar Rodney; sire of generations of winning mounts.
    Caesar and Rodney are the two oddest words to appear together on a coin.

  • jedm
    jedm Posts: 3,266 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @TwoSides2aCoin said:
    My all time favorite :

    Teacher: Johnny, if you had a quarter in one pocket, and a nickel in the other pocket, what would you have ?

    Johnny: Well that's easy teach'. I'd have somebody else's pants on .

    My Dad went by the name of Johnne so of course little Johnny jokes were a specialty of his. This one was my favorite and I've told it hundreds of times. Thanks Joe!

  • Walkerfan
    Walkerfan Posts: 10,392 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Why did the collector pay half $1 million for the Chain Ameri?

    He didn’t have any ‘cents’. :D

    Sometimes, it’s better to be LUCKY than good. 🍀 🍺👍

    My Full Walker Registry Set (1916-1947):

    https://www.ngccoin.com/registry/competitive-sets/16292/

  • Sapyx
    Sapyx Posts: 2,616 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    A long time ago, someone had a website on the theme "why coins are better than lizards". That website is long gone, but my favourite from the list was:

    Coins are better than lizards because you can put two coins in a box overnight and have a reasonable expectation of how many coins will still be in the box the next morning. While they won't reproduce, neither will they devour each other.

    Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.
    Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, "Meditations"

    Apparently I have been awarded the DPOTD twice. B)
  • Coinscratch
    Coinscratch Posts: 11,086 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @The_Dinosaur_Man said:
    How does the grim reaper like numismatists? Slabbed.

    That one took me like 3 days to get. 😂

  • OAKSTAR
    OAKSTAR Posts: 8,770 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )

  • winesteven
    winesteven Posts: 5,604 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 12, 2023 2:23AM
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    Did you know that for Super Bowl 54 they designed a special coin (medal) for the official coin toss? It had Teddy Roosevelt on one side, and Nathan Hale on the other side. Do you know why?
    .
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    So the player had to call “Ted’s or Hale’s”! 😂
    Scroll down to see the medal.
    .
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    Steve

    A day without fine wine and working on your coin collection is like a day without sunshine!!!

    My collecting “Pride & Joy” is my PCGS Registry Dansco 7070 Set:
    https://www.pcgs.com/setregistry/type-sets/design-type-sets/complete-dansco-7070-modified-type-set-1796-date/publishedset/213996
  • GaCoinGuy
    GaCoinGuy Posts: 2,867 ✭✭✭✭
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    What did one penny say to the other penny?

    We make "cents" together!

    Why did the coin go to school?

    Because it wanted to get "cents" of education!

    Why did the penny go to school?

    Because it wanted to get smarter and become a "cents"ible coin!

    imageimage

  • Spawnfreek
    Spawnfreek Posts: 70 ✭✭✭
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    I personally don't know any coin jokes, but I did see a counterfeit "CC" dollar, and thought to myself; "What a joke!"

  • Goldminers
    Goldminers Posts: 4,414 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited October 13, 2023 7:59AM
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    What is it called when the British compare their old coins? A farthing contest.

    I couldn't decide what gender I should be today, so I flipped a coin...
    Wait a minute, how many sides does a coin have?

    What do you call a coin good at football. A quarter back.

    Why don't coins complain about the climate? Because they are used to change.

    What is a coin's favorite music? Heavy metal.

    My US Mint Commemorative Medal Set

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