The latest AP Report on Russ/Compucheap - Busted on Federal Monopoly Charges! ( joking story for fun

ccr

Friday April 18, 2003 (AP) - In the early morning hours of April 18 Russ ( Alias Compucheap ) was arrested by the Coin Hobby Police for Monoplizing the World market of 1964 Kennedy Halfs. " When he was taken away" a neighbor said, " He was in a straight-jacket yelling 'Bwauhahahahaha I Did It, I Did It. ' " Inside they found smelting machines, dies, and sample slabs of 1964 Kennedy Halfs. " We were tipped off when neighbors noticed he would pace in his yard, covered in pixie dust, ranting ' Bwauhahahahaha it`s alive, it`s alive' ", said Major Tom Kriegor. " It looks like he was attempting to hoard the worlds supply of silver Kennedys even if it meant making his own." Police also found a scrape piece of paper scribbled with what looks to be a map with the words ' Bwauhahahahaha It`s Here, It`s Here Bwauhahahahaha' .

VonZipper

CNN now has live helicopter feed from the scene.

dragon

I think this whole thing sounds completely fabricated.

dragon

MrEureka

This is very sad news.

Russ

I only have a second to post what I need to say. I'll try to be clear. Please believe me when I tell you..........aarrghhh!!!!!! Let go of me!!!!!!! .....


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VonZipper

<FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #c0c0c0">CNN now has Geraldo Rivera live at the scene and is saying he thinks their is a secret vault inside the house behind a brick wall that could be filled with rare Franklin half dollars.Stay tuned for more........</FONT>

ksteelheader

CNN now has Geraldo Rivera live at the scene and is saying he thinks their is a secret vault inside the house behind a brick wall that could be filled with rare Franklin half dollars.Stay tuned for more......

VonZipper

Update --- Geraldo is a little embarr-assed to report that the only things found in the vault behind the brick wall were some 1964 Kennedy Accented Hair half dollars that appear to be worthless due to some kind of artificial toning. Geraldo reports that the family of Russ will be putting the coins up for auction on Ebay to help raise funds for his legal defense fund. Oh, one last thing he reports there will be no returns on this auction.

MadMonk

Thanks for a good morning chuckle.

MadMarty

And they don't take no stinkin' Credit Cards through Paypal!!!

VonZipper

continuing update........Geraldo has been granted an interview with Russ from jail, we now go live to Newport Beach Collector Correctional Facility. I'm here with Russ to discuss the accusations that have been levied against him.Well Russ what is going on. "I don't know Geraldo, I had just came back from a local coin show when the police showed up and dragged me away." There have been some reports that you had dealings with a person named "jamesfsm", is this true? "Yes, and I think he is the one who has set me up for these false allegations! I'm innocent I tell you, innocent!" Well there you have it live from Newport Beach Collector Correctional Facility, I am Geraldo Rivera now reporting to you for Fox News. More to follow.......

VonZipper

Geraldo here from Newport Beach Collector Correctional Facility, and with us is the warden of this fine institution, a Mr. David Hall. Now Mr.Hall I was wondering if you could tell us about one of your inmates named Russ. Certainly Geraldo, "Russ has been a model prisoner since he has arrived, up until the other day when he got into an argument with another inmate over the benefits of Monster Toning. Unfortunately he had to be restrained and placed in solitary confinement in a 6x6 foot SLAB. He has been released from solitary and is now in the work program here at the facility." Mr. Hall what exactly is his job? "Right now Russ is working the PCGS Slab machine, and we are keeping a close eye on him to make sure he is not putting fingerprints on anything." Why the Slab machine Mr. Hall? "Russ will build up credits that he can use to have his own coins graded and slabbed so he can use them for trade here in the facility for things such as toiletpaper, toothpaste, jeweluster, etc. and to pay his debt back to the coin collector society." Well there you have it Geraldo Rivera reporting for Fox News.

LucyBop

yet they haven't figured out, is Russ really Lucy?