OT: Trade and Grade for the lesser services
kranky
Posts: 8,709 ✭✭✭
I rarely post OT, but I already had this written and since Trade and Grade came up today, I'm posting it.
Reading about the "Trade and Grade" event got me to thinking. That's a slick PR move on the part of both PCGS and NGC. A nice, relaxed time for everyone. I guess all the other slabbing outfits, even those who are at the bottom, will have to do something similar. I can see it now... a classy yacht bobbing lazily off the Florida Keys....
Experienced dealers Al and Bob, and newbie dealer Charlie are fishing off the deck with a bucket of frosty beers by their sides, beneath the "Welcome Crap-U-Grade Dealers" banner...
Al: Hey, I think I have a bite!
Bob: Are you going to rip him?
Al: Wrong, Quiz Kid. I don't mean that kind of bite. I have a big fish on the line!
Bob: Are you going to rip him?
Al: Sheesh, Bob, we're off-duty now. We don't have to rip anyone. Just out of curiosity, do either of you know anything about fishing?
Bob: I'm holding the right end of the pole, ain't I?
Charlie: Yeah, Bob, but, uh, wrong pole, if you know what I mean.
Al: So, did you guys bring any coins for the BOAT trip?
Charlie: Sure did, Al. Since it's my first Crap-U-Grade trip, I brought a case full of my nicest coins.
Al: Well, la-dee-dah, Charlie. I have a beautiful red Unc 1909-S VDB Lincoln, but the *&#$@ mintmark fell off!
Bob: Fell off? I hope you're going to return it to the guy you got it from!
Al: You bet I am. He said that glue would hold for 5 years.
Bob: Ain't this a fancy yacht? I like it here in Florida. So many Crap-U-Grade dealers have nice yachts.
Charlie: Yeah, I noticed that... but where are the customers' yachts?
Al and Bob: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Al: Good one, Charlie! You might just be one of the guys after all. Here, have another beer on me.
Charlie (puzzled): Uh, sure.
Bob: I could use one of these BOAT trips every month.
Charlie: Why do you say BOAT in capital letters?
Al: You can see that?
Charlie: Not really, but I have to say that to set up the joke.
Al: The BOAT trip is where we all get together in a relaxed setting, to talk about the future plans for Crap-U-Grade, and get some coins slabbed.
Charlie: Slabbed? Or graded?
Bob: As long as it's in plastic, Charlie, either way is fine with me. Just as long as it's in the plastic, baby. But can I ask - why did you bring nice coins?
Charlie: Why not? Don't you bring nice coins?
Bob: Charlie, don't you know this is a trip where we bring all our bad coins? BOAT is an acronym, buddy! Bodybagged Or Artificially Toned! Those are the coins we bring! We slab them and then unload them on ebay!
Al: And don't worry, Charlie, I won't tell anyone you have legitimately nice coins.
Charlie: You know, guys, I'm beginning to get a little uncomfortable with this.
Bob: Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.... What's not to be comfortable about? A nice weekend on a beautiful yacht, fishing off the deck, with the soothing thunk of the slabbing machine running in the background... You know, my coin doctor said that every time the sealer thunks, a cleaned coin gets its wings. It's ready to fly away to a new uneducated owner!
Al: Yeah, Charlie. You can learn a lot on these BOAT trips. Did you make it to the Marketing seminar this morning? They showed us how we can put coins on our website that we don't even own! Just find some nice coins on some big legit dealer site, and list them on your own site at a 40% higher price! If someone orders one....bingo! Call up the dealer, buy it from him, sell it to your customer for 40% more. Free money, no work.
Charlie: That sounds a little unethical to me. What if the dealer already sold the coin?
Bob: You shoulda been at the seminar, Charlie. If that happens, just tell the mark...uh, client... that that coin's sold and talk them into something else!
Charlie: Look guys, I want to run an above-board business. I want to work with customers, not cheat them. I want to help them build a great collection, and educate them about their coins. I don't think I want to be associated with an outfit like Crap-U-Grade.
Al: OK, Charlie, suit yourself. If you want to do it the hard way, more power to you. But remember, there are a lot more uneducated buyers out there than there are knowledgeable ones.
Charlie: That's probably true, but I still want to sleep at night.
Bob: Not a problem for me! I sleep like a baby!
Charlie: Guys, do you know what the moral to this story is?
Al: To be honest for once, Charlie, no.
Bob: Actually, I don't know a whole lot about morals.
Charlie: <heavy sigh> Just forget it, fellas, and hand me another beer.
Reading about the "Trade and Grade" event got me to thinking. That's a slick PR move on the part of both PCGS and NGC. A nice, relaxed time for everyone. I guess all the other slabbing outfits, even those who are at the bottom, will have to do something similar. I can see it now... a classy yacht bobbing lazily off the Florida Keys....
Experienced dealers Al and Bob, and newbie dealer Charlie are fishing off the deck with a bucket of frosty beers by their sides, beneath the "Welcome Crap-U-Grade Dealers" banner...
Al: Hey, I think I have a bite!
Bob: Are you going to rip him?
Al: Wrong, Quiz Kid. I don't mean that kind of bite. I have a big fish on the line!
Bob: Are you going to rip him?
Al: Sheesh, Bob, we're off-duty now. We don't have to rip anyone. Just out of curiosity, do either of you know anything about fishing?
Bob: I'm holding the right end of the pole, ain't I?
Charlie: Yeah, Bob, but, uh, wrong pole, if you know what I mean.
Al: So, did you guys bring any coins for the BOAT trip?
Charlie: Sure did, Al. Since it's my first Crap-U-Grade trip, I brought a case full of my nicest coins.
Al: Well, la-dee-dah, Charlie. I have a beautiful red Unc 1909-S VDB Lincoln, but the *&#$@ mintmark fell off!
Bob: Fell off? I hope you're going to return it to the guy you got it from!
Al: You bet I am. He said that glue would hold for 5 years.
Bob: Ain't this a fancy yacht? I like it here in Florida. So many Crap-U-Grade dealers have nice yachts.
Charlie: Yeah, I noticed that... but where are the customers' yachts?
Al and Bob: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Al: Good one, Charlie! You might just be one of the guys after all. Here, have another beer on me.
Charlie (puzzled): Uh, sure.
Bob: I could use one of these BOAT trips every month.
Charlie: Why do you say BOAT in capital letters?
Al: You can see that?
Charlie: Not really, but I have to say that to set up the joke.
Al: The BOAT trip is where we all get together in a relaxed setting, to talk about the future plans for Crap-U-Grade, and get some coins slabbed.
Charlie: Slabbed? Or graded?
Bob: As long as it's in plastic, Charlie, either way is fine with me. Just as long as it's in the plastic, baby. But can I ask - why did you bring nice coins?
Charlie: Why not? Don't you bring nice coins?
Bob: Charlie, don't you know this is a trip where we bring all our bad coins? BOAT is an acronym, buddy! Bodybagged Or Artificially Toned! Those are the coins we bring! We slab them and then unload them on ebay!
Al: And don't worry, Charlie, I won't tell anyone you have legitimately nice coins.
Charlie: You know, guys, I'm beginning to get a little uncomfortable with this.
Bob: Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.... What's not to be comfortable about? A nice weekend on a beautiful yacht, fishing off the deck, with the soothing thunk of the slabbing machine running in the background... You know, my coin doctor said that every time the sealer thunks, a cleaned coin gets its wings. It's ready to fly away to a new uneducated owner!
Al: Yeah, Charlie. You can learn a lot on these BOAT trips. Did you make it to the Marketing seminar this morning? They showed us how we can put coins on our website that we don't even own! Just find some nice coins on some big legit dealer site, and list them on your own site at a 40% higher price! If someone orders one....bingo! Call up the dealer, buy it from him, sell it to your customer for 40% more. Free money, no work.
Charlie: That sounds a little unethical to me. What if the dealer already sold the coin?
Bob: You shoulda been at the seminar, Charlie. If that happens, just tell the mark...uh, client... that that coin's sold and talk them into something else!
Charlie: Look guys, I want to run an above-board business. I want to work with customers, not cheat them. I want to help them build a great collection, and educate them about their coins. I don't think I want to be associated with an outfit like Crap-U-Grade.
Al: OK, Charlie, suit yourself. If you want to do it the hard way, more power to you. But remember, there are a lot more uneducated buyers out there than there are knowledgeable ones.
Charlie: That's probably true, but I still want to sleep at night.
Bob: Not a problem for me! I sleep like a baby!
Charlie: Guys, do you know what the moral to this story is?
Al: To be honest for once, Charlie, no.
Bob: Actually, I don't know a whole lot about morals.
Charlie: <heavy sigh> Just forget it, fellas, and hand me another beer.
New collectors, please educate yourself before spending money on coins; there are people who believe that using numismatic knowledge to rip the naïve is what this hobby is all about.
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Russ, NCNE