Updated Capt Truth!
cladking
Posts: 28,701 ✭✭✭✭✭
It's far in the future and the starship USSPCGS New Hegemony (NGC-1801) has been dispatched to the
site of a missing star cruiser near Metal Core Base the capitol of the enemy homeworld. The war has
dragged on for nearly five years and neither side shows any sign of distress. Enemy losses are huge
but each time one is destroyed three rise up to take it's place. Battle losses are low among the Alliance
but natural causes seem to count for increasing casualties.
Cast of characters:
Truth: Captain of the New Hegemony, straight shooter with a brand new ax to grind.
Mr. Dork: Vulcan science officer. Doesn't do mind melds.
Shiro Green: Communications officer. Always jonesin' to engage the enemy.
Spaceplanenut: Crewman
LW: Crewman
Deebleedee and Deebleedum: Siamese twins. Deebleedee is Leautenant, weapons officer.
Sgt. Clank: Ships counselor.
Lucky Bop: Bartender. Desparately seeking Frankie.
Jayne(6of9): Used to be a Boyg until implants were inadvertantly removed. Originally intended just to
. . . . spice things up a little, but now has become part of the cast. Friends call her 54. Sister to 7of9.(63)
Ceejay: The computer.
Dr Quackenabush: Looks and walks a little like John Cleese.
Scotty Poindexter: Head engineer. Took a vacation and is feeling better now.
CK: An enigma. Always know where he's coming from but never know where he's been. Anachronism.
Ambassador A. Scary: Very wise. Not to be taken litely. Bark is probably worse than bite.
. . . . . . . . . . . Act 1 scene 1
Captain Truth: What's that dam clanking?
Mr Dork: Should I run another system diagnostic? Ceejay found nothing the first four times.
Capt Truth: Oh never mind. What's our ETA at Metal Core Base?
Mr. Dork: We'll arrive at 20:03.3728744 hours sir.
Capt Truth: Warp 9 spaceplanenut.
Spaceplanenut: Aye Sir. Cool.
Shiro Green: Sir there's an enemy vessel approaching at high warp bearing 17.342 mark 8. Deebleedee notified sir.
Capt Truth: Belay that order. Mr Dork is the multiphasic photonic enlightener ready to fire?
Mr Dork: It's never been tested sir. We don't know what effect enlightenment will have on their craft.
Capt Truth: It must work. The war Isn't going well and we must find a more effective weapon. Lucky Bop, what are you doing on the bridge.
Lucky Bop: Sir, I don't know how I know this but I know this war isn't supposed to be. We must have gotten lost in a temporal loop and our actions have led us away from the path history was supposed to have taken.
We must find where things went wrong and break free of this time line.
Capt Truth: Dammit woman I have a war to fight. ...and what's that dam clanking.
Mr Dork: The enligtener is ready sir. We'll have to bank hard to starboard after firing or the echoing photonic energy might engulf the New Hegemony and destroy it sir.
Capt Truth: Make it so! Scotty, we need more power.
Scotty: I'm giving you all she's got sir. Anymore and she might stall.
Clank: (standing next to Scotty in the engine room) (to Scotty) How are you feeling Scotty? You gave us all quite a scare there you know.
Scotty: I'm feeling much better now.
Clank: Good. That's real good. Beam me up to the bridge Scotty.
Scotty: Aye. (beaming Clank) It's always Scotty this, Scotty that! When does Scotty get to beam up?
(back on the bridge). (LW and 54 have wandered in from open and not as open sections of the vessel)
Capt Truth: Is the Photonic generator fully charged? ...and what's that dam clanking?
Mr Dork: Fully armed and ready sir.
Capt Truth: Fire and roll starboard on my mark....FIRE.
Spaceplanenut: (firing) Did you want me to wait for your command to roll or fire and roll?
Mr. Dork: It's too late.
(The ship is totally engulfed in the echoing photonic energy) (All metal on the ship has become completely transparent and plastic items are translucent with an eerie green glow) (soon things return mostly to normal)
Spaceplanenut: Cool!
Truth: What in the blue blazes was that... and what is that dam clanking?
Mr Dork: The photonic energy was dissipated at the atomic level causing a point 003 phase shift and an allignment of the molecular structure resulting in unexpected transparency. Oh! Look there! Clank is still transparent.
(54 is bending over Clank searching for a pulse)
Lucky Bop: Get your claws off him you hussy.
54: I think I can resusitate him or at least his threads. I assure you my interest is strictly professional.
Lucky Bop: Yea, So's mine. (pushing 54 aside)
LW: That shouldn't happen.
...............................to be continued?
(Lucky Bop, 54, & Clank are beamed to sick bay where Dr. Quackenabush is waiting.)
(Lucky Bop is still kneeling over Clank searching..... searching.......... searching for a pulse.)
54: (dripping sarcasm) Find anything?
Lucky Bop: Yes, very much.
54: He's OK then?
Lucky Bop: (dreamily) Yes, I'm sure.
Clank: (Some color returning to his face) It still hurts over here. (waving hands in the air) Please be gentle.
Dr Quackenabush: What is this nonsense? Why a duck, indeed!
54: Clank has been exposed to a burst of focused photonic energy with a .003 phase shift, doctor. He appears enlightened.
Dr. Quackenabush: It's all about time.
Lucky Bop: (rising)(to Clank) You'll have to come back so I can see you sometime.
Dr. Quackenabush: Get up on the operating table young man.
Lucky Bop: Yes, Be bop a lula on up.
54: ttt
LW: Time for some testing, testing, testing.
CK: (appearing from no where) Alright. Cheat thread.
.................ACT 1 ....... scene 2
(Captain's ready room)
Capt Truth: What is that dam clanking?
Ceejay: There is no clanking at frequencies within human hearing.
Capt Truth: The noise is driving me mad. What noises are within hearing?
Ceejay: Ship's systems are operating within normal parameters. The vessel is not capable of noise within human hearing and internal sensor logs indicate no sounds in addition to normal dialog.
Capt Truth: Do the sensor logs record all sounds on the bridge?
Ceejay: Bridge audibles are recorded at six distinct locations.
Capt Truth: Overlay a schematic of the placement of my head and interpolate the sounds from that vicinity over a period of time.... say 2 weeks.
Ceejay: There are regular incidents of high amplitude, low frequency vibrations quickly fading to higher frequencies at 22:01.3972 & 1,903 Htz Amplitude .07........
Capt Truth: Save the chatter. What is that?
Ceejay: It would be desribed by a human as a clanking, sir.
Capt Truth: What might cause this clanking?
Ceejay: Ship's computer is fully booted and systems are operating within normal parameters. Extraneous sounds are impossible.
Capt Truth: Think outside the box, dammit. What is that clanking.
Ceejay: (seemingly befuddled) There are no sounds eminating from within the ship and vibrations from outside are lasso'ed and attenuated. The clanking can only originat in the continuum.
Capt Truth. Cue!!?! (hitting communicator) Mr Dork assemble the senior staff. Scotty, I need more power.
Mr Dork: Aye, aye, sir.
Scotty: Aye.
...........................to be continued?
Tempus fugit.
0
Comments
TRUTH
Nice work in melding some memorable Star Trek moments in there.
Looks like Clankeyes`got a run for his money here.
None of you know me so that's perfect........a journey to explore new worlds and of course don't forget the PRIME DIRECTIVE.
09/07/2006
man, that dorky-dude is a total dweeb!
smile's all around.
K S
Good story though.
Brian.
DAN
My first tassa slap 3/3/04
My shiny cents
I hate it when you see my post before I can edit the spelling.
Always looking for nice type coins
my local dealer
I was just trying to make "light" of recent events.
Some of the responses are funnier than the "play".
of such well crafted diversions.Keep up the good work. Your are hereby awarded the bears
coveted "GROWL OF APPROVAL AWARD" for excellence in the field of entertainment authorship.
Camelot
<< <i>Lucky Bop: Get your claws off him you hussy.
54: I think I can resusitate him or at least his threads. I assure you my interest is strictly professional.
Lucky Bop: Yea, Say's you. (pushing 54 aside)
>>
the HepKitty can do some resusitating of her own Daddy-o! Oop Be Ba Doop!
"Senorita HepKitty"
"I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
The ship's counselor-- I like that. Certainly in that case the lunatics would be running the asylum.
I am a firm believer of using the absurd to defuse the serious. Hmmm, that sentence sounded good, I hope it actually means something.
At any rate, I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me... Very fun to read! I anxiously await part 2.
Clankeye
I'm pretty sure you're gonna be OK.
<< <i>(54 is bending over Clank searching for a pulse) >>
Funny, that's the way I wake up every morning. But, it's Mrs. Clank doing the searching.
<< <i>High praise indeed coming from the bard. >>
Clad--
I think it would be more appropriate to refer to me as "The Shard." My ego is so fragile that if someone flamed me, I would shatter like a crystal railroad spike.
Carl
Play is updated.
Don't make me figure out how to start a poll!
So are there no comments because no one likes it, they couldn't find it, or they think
I've written myself into a corner?
Other?
What the Heck is all that Clanking?
"The silver is mine and the gold is mine,' declares the LORD GOD Almighty."