Random humor
uwftke26
Posts: 3,002
What did the male fly say to the female fly who was sitting on the pile of cow crap?
"Pardon me, but is this stool taken?"
"Pardon me, but is this stool taken?"
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Subject: Real quotes from the world of sports:
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me.
I wan' all the kids copulate me."
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New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked
about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes
first."
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And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said:
"To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
..........................................................
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
............................................................
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius
is a guy like Norman Einstein."
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Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
...............................................................
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,
then line up in a circle."
.......................................................
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with
promoter Don King:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter?
He went to Prison for three years, not Princeton."
...........................................................
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps
a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name,
I can still find my clothes."
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Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock
in the morning regardless of what time it is."
..................................................................
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to
be an uncle or an aunt."
.........................................................
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance
or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
...............................................................
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
told a player who received four F's and one
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on
one subject."
......................................................
Oiler coach Bum Phillips. when asked by Bob
Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, responded:
"Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."
Looking for Marino, Ripken Auto's,Gu & Rc's
Good stuff.
Ref's available