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"Good Morning Class" 5 - A Trip to Hell

ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
in U.S. Coin Forum
Mrs. Coinboard: Good morning class!
All: Good morning Mrs. Coinboard!
Mrs. CB: Class, as promised last week, we have a guest speaker today. I would like you all to put your hands together, direct from the maw of Hell... for Devil Bear! Let's hear it!
All: (clapping wildly) YEA!!!!!!!!!!
---POOF!!!---
Devil Bear appears before them. He is dressed like Elvis. He bows...
Devil Bear: Thank ya very much, class! I'd like to thank ma mama... an also you little peckerwoods for being... well, for being so downright evil!
All: YEA!!!!!!!
TwoDogs: You weren't dressed like Elvis last week!
Devil Bear: Well, that's perceptive of ya, little dinkles... we're promotin' a new Elvis commemorative in Hell right now. Here it is... got a picture of The King on the "porcelain throne" right here...
UncleJoe: That's in bad taste!
Devil Bear: Hey! Don't be cruel... that's my job! Now buckle up troops, cuz I'm gonna give ya a quick tour of Hell. Here's the first stop....
Devil Bear waves his hand and they are in a dimly lit grading room.
Demonic looking creatures are hunched over coins...
Devil Bear: Kids, this here's the ACG gradin' room.
Goyankeez: Look! They don't have any eyes!!!!
All: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
JeffinMich: How can they grade without eyes?!
Devil Bear: Easy partner... they use their tongues…
One of the demon graders picks up a coin and licks it with his long, engorged tongue
Devil Bear: Waa-hoo! After a while you can just taste those MS 70's!
Slab that puppy! It's shiny as a new bangle on my belt! Remember kids, knowledge is power, but nothin' beats a good set of taste buds! Thank ya very much!! (he bows, then waves his hand again) Next stop! The Eternal Room of Negative Feedback!!!!
The class is staring at a room full of zombies, rocking back and fourth chanting: LIAR! LIAR! FRAUD! GET A LAWYER! LIAR! LIAR! FRAUD! GET A LAWYER!
Zenny: (bolting for the door) Noooo!!!!! I can't stand it!!!!!
Devil Bear: These are my favorites. They’ll neg their own mothers for 12 cents! I got a-hunk-a burnin' love for these folks! This batch is almost ready. When they're done, we send 'em out there to bid on your auctions! Dang! I love this job!!!!!
Zombies: LIAR! LIAR! FRAUD! GET A LAWYER!
Devil Bear: Thank ya very much! (waving his hand) Now class.... I want ya to be real quiet in this next place...
They are in a still, cobweb-filled room
DPoole: Where are we?
Devil Bear: (finger to lips) Shhhhhhhh.... Class, I give you the NGC forum...
All: (quietly) ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......
Cam40: Is that guy over there dead?
Devil Bear: Well... he doesn't think so.
Coindaughter: I'm scared!
Coinguy1: If you ask me a question, I’ll always answer!
Devil Bear: (Patting his head) Thanks, kid… but, this place even gives Devil Bear the creeps! Let's am-scray! (waving his hand)
They are back in the classroom
All: YEA!!!!!!!!!!
Devil Bear: (Deep bow) Thank ya very much, thank ya very much!!!!!
Mrs. Coinboard: Now, Devil Bear why don't you tell the children what they can do to avoid those places?
Devil Bear: (puzzled) ...Why would I do that, Coin-broad? Ol' Devil Bear'd be pretty lonely down there if nobody came to see him!

LuckyBop suanters up to the front of the room. She leans on Devil Bear's shoulder, takes a long drag off a cigarette and blows a smoke ring in his face

LuckyBop: Don't worry, Marshall Beary-wear. The Hepkitty's gonna come see her little Elvis all... night... longy-wong(she kisses his cheek).

The roof to the classroom opens up and a flustered Angel Bear comes flying into the room....

Angel Bear: (hovering, slack-jawed): Kids, in life I was but a little bear. But in death... it appears... I might get lucky!
All: BWWWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The door bursts open and standing there in full uniform is Drill Sergeant Bear

Drill Sergeant Bear: I HAVE NEVER SEEN A MORE MISERABLE GROUP OF PA-THETIC BARNACLE SCRAPPERS IN MY EN-TIRE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!! COINBOARD, YOU HAVE LET THIS GET TOTALLY FUBAR! NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN! ANY QUESTIONS????!!!!!!!

---Silence---

Wallstreetman: Who peed in my kool-Aid?












Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare

Comments

  • RussRuss Posts: 48,514 ✭✭✭
    Bwuahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I swear you get better every week!image

    Russ, NCNE
    eBay consignment sales | | Collectibles from Resco CCC
  • coinguy1coinguy1 Posts: 13,484 ✭✭✭
    Clankeye , I want more. No, not more questions asked of me, more of your episodes! Thanks.
  • LanLordLanLord Posts: 11,718 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Got the entire weekend down in one post.image

    LOL
  • mdwoodsmdwoods Posts: 5,548 ✭✭✭
    Chortle, chortle, and even more chortles. Excellent Clankeye. Another fine job. mdwoodsimage
    National Register Of Big Trees

    We'll use our hands and hearts and if we must we'll use our heads.
  • zennyzenny Posts: 1,547 ✭✭
    Clankeye

    once again you provide a reason for us to not totally hate monday.
  • keetskeets Posts: 25,351 ✭✭✭✭✭
    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

    al h.image
  • prooflikeprooflike Posts: 3,879 ✭✭
    That was pretty good!
    image
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    Oops! Clankeye, clanked the post.
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    I would like to say a special thank you to Keets, who PM'd me during the week and said "You ought to hook our Hepkitty up with Marshall Bear somehow." Good idea, Keets. And now if LucyBop is upset, I can point her in your direction!
    Clank
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • its4realits4real Posts: 451 ✭✭
    Have you ever considered screenwriting?image
    "spare change? Nahhhhh...never have any...sold it all on E-bay..."
    see? My Auctions "Got any 1800's gold?"
  • FC57CoinsFC57Coins Posts: 9,140 ✭
    Carl:

    You were born in '57 right.... So you went through that 1970's "experimental/experiential" phase didn't you....


    ADMIT IT - YOU DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID INHALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

    Great stuff!

    Frank
  • airplanenutairplanenut Posts: 22,231 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Clank, you are sooo funny image

    Cool image
    JK Coin Photography - eBay Consignments | High Quality Photos | LOW Prices | 20% of Consignment Proceeds Go to Pancreatic Cancer Research
  • rkfishrkfish Posts: 2,617 ✭✭✭
    Clankeye,

    Love it! Nice to start mondays with a BIG smile!
    Steve

    Check out my PQ selection of Morgan & Peace Dollars, and more at:
    WWW.PQDOLLARS.COM or WWW.GILBERTCOINS.COM
  • RegistryCoinRegistryCoin Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭✭
    image
  • shirohniichanshirohniichan Posts: 4,992 ✭✭✭
    That's great! You need to hook up with Uncle TRUTH and write a Halloween Special!
    image
    Obscurum per obscurius
  • UncleJoeUncleJoe Posts: 2,544 ✭✭✭
    Clankeye, that was great and I am honored to be one of the classmates.

    I agree with some of the other board members that this is a talent that you might want to expand into new horizons.

    Joe.
  • JeffinMichJeffinMich Posts: 438
    LOL. Clankeye, these posts kill me. Like Uncle Joe, I'm honored to make it in this episode!image
  • LanLordLanLord Posts: 11,718 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I gotta quit being a wallflower whenever controversy arisesimage Or perhaps create my own controversyimage
  • BearBear Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
    A scary Holloween story, Yup, that would be

    right up Old Marshall Bear's Alley. Pilgram, I will be a lookin out for the next

    story and ifen I dont find one, wellll

    I might have to come into town alooking for ya.

    In any event Clanc, You done yourself real proud

    with this here story. Marshall Bear

    PS I thought my evil twin was a real Troll.
    There once was a place called
    Camelotimage
  • cladkingcladking Posts: 28,701 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Best one yet!
    Tempus fugit.
  • cladkingcladking Posts: 28,701 ✭✭✭✭✭
    -and the most accurate synopsis yet!
    Tempus fugit.
  • LucyBopLucyBop Posts: 14,001 ✭✭✭
    So the HepKitty made the funnies........ And Lucy isn't sharing ELVIS with anyone!!!!!!!! Great classroom story!!!!
    imageBe Bop A Lula!!
    "Senorita HepKitty"
    "I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
  • leothelyonleothelyon Posts: 8,470 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I enjoyed reading that, thank you.

    Leo

    The more qualities observed in a coin, the more desirable that coin becomes!

    My Jefferson Nickel Collection

  • Cam40Cam40 Posts: 8,146 ✭
    Its posts like these that make reading here all the more fun.
    Hats off to Clankeye for the eclectic episodes of Ms.Coinboard,all incarnations of our beloved Bear,and fellow classmates.Coins are my favorite subject,and Ms.Coinboard is my favorite teacher.
    image
  • ursabearursabear Posts: 1,888
    Clankeye - it's good to be back after vacation. I liked the weekend synopsis, as usual.
    Is anyone compiling these as a compendium? I can see a wonderful book with these stories.

    Keep it up! Always most wonderful and humerous. image
  • wallstreetmanwallstreetman Posts: 2,938 ✭
    Hey Clankeye, very creative, can I buy you a glass of Koolaid?
    You can fool man but you can't fool God! He knows why you do what you do!
  • BearBear Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
    Is the rumour true, that people were offering

    2 dollars to pee in WSMs koolaid?
    There once was a place called
    Camelotimage
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    Bear--
    You have such a wild imagination! It was only a dollar.

    And WSM, sure, I'd be happy to have a Kool-Aid with you. Fresh pour, though.
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • MrLeeMrLee Posts: 1,848 ✭✭✭
    I always knew the ACG grading room was located in hell. I just didn't know they used their tonguesimage That explains everything! Another classic Clankeye. Thanks for that fine masterpiece of journalism.
  • dpooledpoole Posts: 5,940 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Mrs. Coinboard has some of the coolest lesson plans!

    Clank, these just keep getting better! I got a feeling you're just warming up...

    Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...



  • LanLordLanLord Posts: 11,718 ✭✭✭✭✭


    << <i>Clankeye - it's good to be back after vacation. I liked the weekend synopsis, as usual. Is anyone compiling these as a compendium? I can see a wonderful book with these stories. Keep it up! Always most wonderful and humerous. image >>

    I must admit it, I have them all saved to my hard drive.

    I like classics: Moby Dick, War and Peace, Good Morning Class. Gotta love itimage
  • BladeBlade Posts: 1,744 ✭
    Totally irreverant - I love it!
    Tom

    NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

    Type collector since 1981
    Current focus 1855 date type set
  • coindaughtercoindaughter Posts: 662 ✭
    Oh, wow! I've made it now....I can tell my mom I had a trip to Hell!

    image
    Jacksache auctions
  • nuckleheadnucklehead Posts: 1,500 ✭
    DANG, I missed the first ones, was I in any of those? Sure would hate to miss my 15 minutes of fame. Funny stuff just the same!
    Friends are Gods way of apologizing for your relatives.
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    You were in last weeks, ya nucklehead. Admittedly, it was only one line, but "there are no small parts, only small actors!" Someone said that.

    If anyone is interested in the old ones all you have to do is punch "good morning class" into search, and they all appear. Thanks for all the good words everybody!

    Clankeye
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • wallstreetmanwallstreetman Posts: 2,938 ✭
    Hey Bear,

    Evil offered the most, $10, the money will go to the 'wallstreetman for Koolaid President campaign'!
    You can fool man but you can't fool God! He knows why you do what you do!
  • keetskeets Posts: 25,351 ✭✭✭✭✭
    hey carl

    i'm a tellin' ya, Weird Al Yankovic had better move on over if your creative juices ever spill over and onto your musical gift book!!image the only thing is, it would be like an inside joke that the audience wouldn't get. but ya know, i figure with your co**eyed view straightening things out image you could take events that most would understand and put a snappy humor into them. sign me up for a pre-release copy of the CD!!! and keep 'em coming. Good Morning Class......................

    al h.image
  • FlashFlash Posts: 1,090 ✭✭✭
    Thats great, Clankeye! I'm already looking forward to next Monday. Those weekends just drag on waaay too slow!
    Matt
  • AskariAskari Posts: 3,713 ✭
    image
    Askari



    Come on over ... to The Dark Side! image
  • dorkkarldorkkarl Posts: 12,691 ✭✭✭
    Weird Al!!! remember michael jackson's "BAD"? i loved "EVEN WORSE" by yankovic!

    hey wait a minute..... i was in the previous classroom thread but not this one. WHAT GIVES??? image

    K S
  • RegistryCoinRegistryCoin Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭✭
    Smokin' in the boys room? and What's that powder? Are you ATing coins in the sink again? Truants will be ignored, so get your azz back to clazz. image
  • RLinnRLinn Posts: 596 ✭
    imageAnd all of Mrs. Coinboard's class yelled...."Take us on a fieldtrip!"
    Buy the coin...but be sure to pay for it.
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    What? Hell's not far enough away?
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • AskariAskari Posts: 3,713 ✭


    << <i>What? Hell's not far enough away? >>

    Not for some, it seems. I guess he's holding out for the Sports Card Forum. image
    Askari



    Come on over ... to The Dark Side! image
  • RLinnRLinn Posts: 596 ✭


    << <i>What? Hell's not far enough away? >>

    Hell was not a field trip of Mrs. Coinboard's choosing. That was a no-notice trip imposed upon the class by that evil Devil Bear. Devil Bear wisked us there with a wave of his hand (or was that a paw?). Mrs. Coinborad would probably use the more conventional yellow school bus form of transportation and select some noteworthy destination such as a branch mint where we would be allowed to play with the "mules."
    Buy the coin...but be sure to pay for it.
  • RegistryCoinRegistryCoin Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭✭
    If your are going to misspell Mrs. Coinboard's name, misspell it correctly, That's Mrs. Coinbroad, to you. image
    Looking forward to the next class.

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