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"Good Morning Class" 3

Mrs. Coinboard: (teetering) 'Morning Gas!
All: Good morning Mrs. Coinboard!
She stares at the class blurry eyed
Mrs. CB: Wish of you little Peckers wans to tell us 'bout your weekend? Sonof-gunk? Waz wrong? Are you crying beer--I mean, dear?
Sonof-gunk: (Sobbing ) I... I got a mean letter from Santa!
Mrs. CB: No shirt? Wazzit say?
Sonof-gunk: (Begins to read) "Dear Sonofa-B... You are rude and obnoxious and probably not very bright. Santa works too hard all day long and don't see Mrs. Claus enough. Santa don't do all this for the joy and pleasure of dealing with pleasant smart enlightened people like yourself, please stay away from the North Pole. You definitely are not worth doing business with even if you had any real value. Uck Foo, Santa...." What does "Uck Foo" mean, Mrs. Coinboard? Is Santa Chinese?
Mrs. CB: Phanta's dissing you, dear. He's gone from tagz to riches and he just doesn't care 'bout little pecker's like you anymore.
Mrs. Coinboard leans to the left, leans to the right... she sits down, stands up and shouts FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
She tumbles head first onto michael, in his desk in the front row.
michael: yes, yes, yes.. lol. This beauties from an eastern collection....
Braddick: She's plastered!
Airplanenut: Cool!
Dog97: I seen Santa last year... Looked like an ill kept little queer. Had a lttle sissy chin beard... (starts to stroke his AK47) the light was reflectin' off his greasy forehead... hadn't taken a bath, or combed his hair... smelled like a french fart... I shoulda taken him out right there---
Tradedollarnut: I checked with my lawyer... and he said it's okay for me to say SANTA SUCKS!!!!!!!!
All: BWWWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! SANTA SUCKS!!!
Mrs. CB (back on her feet) Clazz! CLAZZZ!!!!
--Silence--
Thas better... Now, I wans you all to write Phanta a letter saying were going sue him, and his stinkin' little elf people too.... K? Mrs. Coinboard's just gonna take a lil' nappy here... she sprawls out over her desktop and is out.
The door to the classroom flies open and two rough looking men in elf suits enter the room.
1st Elf: Which one of you creeps is Legend?
The entire class points to Legend at her desk. The two men approach her.
2nd Elf: Santa says "Hello!"
They push over Legend, desk and all, kick her in the shins, and then run for the door.
1st Elf: (leaving) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
LanLord: Hey!! They can't do that! It's only Halloween! (shrugging, turning to Goose 3) Can they do that?
michael: yes, yes, yes...lol.
Legend: (Jumping to her feet) SANTA! YOU AND ME ARE GOIN' ON A
SLAY RIDE!!!!!!!

On cue, the Angel of Marshall Bear floats down through the ceiling and addresses the children:

The Angel of Marshall Bear: Children in life I was but a little Bear. Happy to live out my days in harmony among the other peaceful creatures of the forest...

Mrs. Coinboard awakens from her slumber and sits up on her desk.

Mrs. CB: Hey! Will ya lookit tha.... ish the Angel of Bearbodkins! Put a sock in it, ya fur ball!
Braddick: She's plastered!
Mrs. CB: (finger to her lips) Ssshhhhhhhhh! Member ya little peckers.
No drinkin' and postin' G-night... (she falls back on her desk)
--Silence--
All: BWWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!
Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare

Comments

  • cachemancacheman Posts: 3,118 ✭✭✭
    What? No pissing Minuteman? No KINCOIN? Otherwise, pretty good Clank....heh heh
  • airplanenutairplanenut Posts: 22,228 ✭✭✭✭✭
    lol! Great job, Clank!
    JK Coin Photography - eBay Consignments | High Quality Photos | LOW Prices | 20% of Consignment Proceeds Go to Pancreatic Cancer Research
  • goose3goose3 Posts: 11,471 ✭✭✭
    imageimageimageimageimage
  • MadMartyMadMarty Posts: 16,697 ✭✭✭
    ROTFLMAOimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

    Man, I'm soooooooooooo happy I shay out of this stuff!!!


    Just lay low and avoid the radar!!!

    Hey RUSS, You still suck, but your still my hero!!!image
    It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving!!!

  • Hey man Russ Is the bomb.image
  • To all
    YAHOO,YAHOO,YAHOO.Does this mean I have been accepted to the forum now. Am I still on the @hit list. If so am I improving?image


    KINGCOIN KING OF COINS
  • keetskeets Posts: 25,351 ✭✭✭✭✭
    man clank, when Mrs. Coinboard was layin' on the desk i thought somebody was gonna try the hind-lick manuever to recusitate her!!image

    al h.image
  • RussRuss Posts: 48,514 ✭✭✭
    You know, I was kind of hoping we could make it through one of these good morning class threads without my name being mentioned.image

    Russ, NCNE
  • LanLordLanLord Posts: 11,718 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Immediate classic. image
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928
    Mrs. Coinboard: (sitting up on her desk) Rhuss...? (she belches and falls backward)
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • keetskeets Posts: 25,351 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hey Russ----that ain't never gonna happen!!!!!!!image

    All: BWWWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!


    al h.image
  • MrLeeMrLee Posts: 1,848 ✭✭✭

    BWWWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! (hic) BWWWAHAHAHAH!!!! (snort,cough) BWWWAAAAAAAHAHBURP!!!!
  • MadMartyMadMarty Posts: 16,697 ✭✭✭


    << <i>You know, I was kind of hoping we could make it through one of these good morning class threads without my name being mentioned. >>




    Yea Right!!!image
    It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving!!!

  • BearBear Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
    Clank - This is the spirit of Marshall Bear, you cant just go around dissing Santa.

    He is the nice fat man, who will bring all of us children of the Forum, numismatic presents

    to ogle and drool over during Christmas. You mess with Santa and it means

    that none of us will get nothing but lumps of coal in our stockings hung with such care.

    Mend your ways Clank and say your sorry to old Santa. Other then that, another classic in

    a growing legend of your literary masterpieces. Bear
    There once was a place called
    Camelotimage
  • Clankeye,

    The highlight of my day. With economies falling, prices rising, and more work getting done by less people at my workplace - I needed just this bit of humor.

    Cheers!

    I can't wait until the next episode.
  • BearBear Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
    Bump
    There once was a place called
    Camelotimage
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928
    Bear---
    Don't be silly. I can't apologize to Santa. Everybody knows that Santa isn't a real person.
    Clank
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • MrLeeMrLee Posts: 1,848 ✭✭✭
    Clankeye. I don't know how you come up with these but they are classics. You really have a gift for it. Thanks for sharing it with us. It makes for a superb Monday. I should have done it a long time ago but I'm going to have to research and save the others. These are just too funny.

    Thanks again. Lee

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