There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacher went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's pay. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church. Finally, the preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, "having children is an act of God!" Silence fell on the congregation. In the back of the room, a little old man stood up and in his frail voice said, "Snow and rain are also acts of God, but when we get too much, we wear rubbers."
How they came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles....
The Board got together and the first board member said: "Kids Like Kids" The CEO (who was chinese) stated "Must be Ninja's" Hmm "Teenage Ninja's"... I don't know if that works. Another Member of the board stated... "Kids like animals, we need to think about turtles" hmm.. "Teenage Ninja Turtles"
When all of a sudden, the burn out of the group said "Mutants... They Have to be MUTANTS!" Most of the board members agreed "We don't see that" The Burn Out board member stood up and said "Smoke some of this and you will see it!"
A Man Comes Home from a hard days work and says... "Honey, I only have 24 hours to live, Let's make love like we have never made love before" so for the next 6 hours they made love like they never made before. They finished and he said "Honey, I only have 18 hours to live, let's make love like we never made love before" the next 6 hours they made love like they never made before... After 6 hours, the man says "honey Let's make love...." and his wife interrupts "YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAKE UP FOR WORK IN THE MORNING"
dakra - The punch line of the elephant and mouse joke (as well as the monkey) seems to refer to one's image of being able to be a great lover with others. Basically, due to size, the elephant could not register the amorous actions of the mouse. When the monkey knocked the fruit off the true and hit the elephant on the head, the elephant of course shouted in pain (or in the mouse's mind had an orgasm). So the mouse took the elephant's scream of pain to be one of a passionate climax. Or to look at it in another amusing light, you could infer the elephant was "faking" it to please the mouse. I think women can relate to that in certain instances.
Recommended reading - The PCGS Guide to Coin Grading and Counterfeit Detection and The Coin Collector's Survival Manual and NCI Grading Guide For the Morgan collectors - The Morgan and Peace encyclopedia by Van Allen and Mallis
What would your slabbed coins be worth if the grading services went out of business? What would your coins be worth if the Internet was taken offline for good?
I actually looked up the joke and there are different ways to tell the joke but most of them refer to the cocounut landing on the head of the elephant, the elephant saying "ouch" and the mouse thought he was hurting or pleasuring the elephant. I missed the punch line originally.
Comments
Edited for typo.
The Board got together and the first board member said:
"Kids Like Kids"
The CEO (who was chinese) stated "Must be Ninja's"
Hmm "Teenage Ninja's"... I don't know if that works. Another Member of the board stated...
"Kids like animals, we need to think about turtles"
hmm.. "Teenage Ninja Turtles"
When all of a sudden, the burn out of the group said "Mutants... They Have to be MUTANTS!"
Most of the board members agreed "We don't see that"
The Burn Out board member stood up and said "Smoke some of this and you will see it!"
-David
"Honey, I only have 24 hours to live, Let's make love like we have never made love before"
so for the next 6 hours they made love like they never made before.
They finished and he said "Honey, I only have 18 hours to live, let's make love like we never made love before"
the next 6 hours they made love like they never made before...
After 6 hours, the man says "honey Let's make love...." and his wife interrupts "YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAKE UP FOR WORK IN THE MORNING"
-David
Lord M, you were soooooooo close, but just the thought of the mouse doing the elephant did her in!!!
Thanks to everyone!!
-Dave
For the Morgan collectors - The Morgan and Peace encyclopedia by Van Allen and Mallis
What would your slabbed coins be worth if the grading services went out of business? What would your coins be worth if the Internet was taken offline for good?
Coincidentally, my mouse is acting up today...
-David
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see? My Auctions "Got any 1800's gold?"