I bet you don't know what day this is, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed but was always a quick thinker: "Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered from what could have been a very bad situation. His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
I got pulled over by the police today. I was apparently his first speeder because when he got to my car he said, "I've been waiting all day for you." I said "I got here as fast as I could." He let me go.
A defendant was on trial for murder.
There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement, the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door.
The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly.
A minute passed.
Nothing happened. Finally, the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation.
I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate.
A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
“But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.”
The jury foreman replied, “Oh, we looked, but your client didn’t.”
I may have told this one before, so will apologize in advance:
There was a clustered group of nuns who only spoke two words a year and that was to Sister Superior.
After one year, a young nun simply said, "Bad bed."
The 2nd year she said, "Lousy food."
Her 3rd year statement was, "I quit!"
Sister Superior replied, "You might as well quit, you've done nothing but bitch the whole time you've been here".
"Ain't None of Them play like him (Bix Beiderbecke) Yet." Louis Armstrong
Comments
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
HMMM GOOD - Fried Bolonga Mustard pizza
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I bet you don't know what day this is, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed but was always a quick thinker: "Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered from what could have been a very bad situation. His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!"
Wayne
www.waynedriskillminiatures.com
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
I got pulled over by the police today. I was apparently his first speeder because when he got to my car he said, "I've been waiting all day for you." I said "I got here as fast as I could." He let me go.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Fresh air - Time Square
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
A room with a view
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
A defendant was on trial for murder.
There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement, the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door.
The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly.
A minute passed.
Nothing happened. Finally, the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation.
I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate.
A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
“But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.”
The jury foreman replied, “Oh, we looked, but your client didn’t.”
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I may have told this one before, so will apologize in advance:
There was a clustered group of nuns who only spoke two words a year and that was to Sister Superior.
After one year, a young nun simply said, "Bad bed."
The 2nd year she said, "Lousy food."
Her 3rd year statement was, "I quit!"
Sister Superior replied, "You might as well quit, you've done nothing but bitch the whole time you've been here".
Louis Armstrong
Karma always has a way....
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members