An Extensive List of NBA Players that SUCK...
Derrick
Posts: 4,287 ✭✭
*WARNING: THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN. TAKE NONE OF THIS SERIOUSLY, ALTHOUGH I KNOW SOMEONE WILL. *
With no further ado, from the depths of my brain and imagination......
The Official List of Players that Suck:
Tariq Abdul Wahad- what a stupid name.
Ray Allen- got to do a movie scene with two big-tittied chicks, and I didn't.
Kenny Anderson- nickname is Chibbs. How gay is that?
Vin Baker- was in his prime for, oh, 27 minutes.
Mookie Blaylock- was the original name of the band Pearl Jam. And that's his greatest claim to fame. How much does that say for his abilities as a basketball player?
Calvin Booth- because the Sonics save money on travel by just faxing him from city to city, he's so skinny.
Elden Campbell- is less famous than the soup bearing his name. That must suck; less famous than low-quality soup.
Vince Carter- supposed to be the greatest dunker ever, and Jason Freakin Richardson has more dunks than he did last year. What, he's slowing down at age 25? What is this?
Sam Cassell- one look at him, and you know Area 51 is no joke.
Michael Curry- is only the third most famous player in the league named Curry, and the other two suck.
Baron Davis- there are about 47 Davises in the league, so I picked the ugliest one. And the others ain't exactly beauty queens..
Antonio Davis- because, contradicting what I said above, I find myself strangly attracted to him-I mean......uh.......I was kidding? Yeah......that's the ticket!
Chris Dudley- he may seriously be the worst player in league history. And he's a worse FT shooter than Shaq.
Howard Eisley- he went from Heir to Stockton's throne to the Knicks' 8th string point guard. What a dumba$$.
LaPhonso Ellis- because the dickhole should have gone to Illinois, not Notre Dame. I hate Digger Phelps.
Evan Eshmyer- he's 6'11", 255, yet looking at his face, I honestly believe I could beat his a$$.
Patrick Ewing- do you know how many playoff games he choked in at the last second? 206.
Danny Ferry- because he was supposedly one of the better college players ever, yet he only averaged double digits twice in the NBA. And no one really cared when he did.
Marcus Fizer- he sucks. He just plain sucks.
Greg Foster- because I always get him mixed up with Jeff Foster.
Jeff Foster- because I always get him mixed up with Greg Foster.
Kevin Garnett- because I saw him play in the state tourney his senior year, and he wasn't the best player on his own team. And they lost.
Chris Gatling- because he averaged 19 points one season, but did so little else, he couldn't crack the starting lineup.
Brian Grant- because his hair looks like french fries.
Eddie Griffin- he got kicked out of high school, got suspended last year for punching a teammate, and looks like he's depressed as hell when he's playing basketball.
Darvin Ham- got an SI cover in college for breaking the backboard. I broke a salad bowl a couple days ago; where's my SI cover?
Al Harrington- because at this moment, I could beat him at 1-on-1.
Zydrunas Illgauskas- because I had to look up his name, it's so hard to spell. And why would I want to? He's useless. Whoops! He just cut himself shaving. He's out for the year.
Allen Iverson- every time his scrawny ass gets knocked down, I'm hoping it's career-ending. And every time, he gets back up.
Bobby Jackson- was a bltch at Minnesota, and is a bltch in Sac-town. I don't care if McGrady started it, I think there's a rule against fighting players averaging 20 points more than you. If not, there should be.
Mike James- what a boring name.
Harold Jamison- did anyone see him at Clemson? If so, is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking: if he's on an NBA roster, there are about 10 too many teams in the league.
Michael Jordan- remember when your mom used to tell you if you keep making faces, your face will freeze like that? Well, do you have a better way to explain his tongue always hanging about?
Shawn Kemp- went from the most ferocious dunker in the league since Darryl Dawkins to the most voracious eater in the league since Stanley Roberts.
Jason Kidd- because he shoots 13% from the field. If he gets hot.
Brevin Knight- I don't know, he just seems like a geek.
Travis Knight- see: Harold Jamison.
Christian Laettner- remember that game against Kentucky? The Shot? Yeah, he shoulda been thrown out of that game earlier for stomping on a guy's chest. What a farce.
Trajan Langdon- he's still in the NBA? He's what Allan Houston would be if Allan Houston was 6'3" and averaging 3.1 points a game.
Felipe Lopez- one of the first "Next Jordans." One of the worst players in the league, too. He's just brutal.
Tyronn Lue- because guards that shoot 64% from the line suck.
Corey Maggette- was supposed to be the best player in the nation his senior year of high school, but ended up being the third best in the state. I would say he left college too early as well, but Mike Dunleavy would have started ahead of him anyway.
Karl Malone- because I like "The Man Show's" Karl Malone much better. "Until next time, this heaha, Ka' M'lone." Cracks me up every time.
Shawn Marion- is nicknamed after one of the most boring movies ever made. Why not nickname him "Dogma," or "Office Space?" You know, a good movie.
Makhtar Ndiaye- was such a bad college player that he had to leave Michigan. HOW IS HE IN THE NBA?????
Johnny Newman- he's still in the league? I thought he was dead.
Moochie Norris- what kind of self-respecting individual allows themselves to be called Moochie?
Jermaine O'Neal- is a grizzled veteran at age 23. Then again, most NBA players are dads by age 18, so I guess it works out fine.
Shaquille O-Neal- You're not supposed to give yourself a nickname. He's given himself 1,285 nicknames. Each week of the season.
Lamar Odom- Could be *PUFF* really good *PUFF* if it weren't for one *PUFF* one thing...oh man, I've got the munchies.
Greg Ostertag- some of us may think Iverson's a little thug, some of us may think Vince Carter sucks, some may think Dirk plays a boring game, but I think we can all agree on one thing: Greg Ostertag is useless.
Tony Parker- since when do black guys come from France?
Morris Peterson- is it me, or is he really slow for a competent NBA small forward?
Terry Porter- you know how old he is? 109.
Lavar Postell- yet another guy who sucked in college who is now in the NBA. Hey, if this keeps up, I think the Bulls might sign *me.*
Vladimir Radmanovic- OK, fine. I think there's enough European guys in the league. Don't they have their own leagues over there? Do they see us sending Kobe and VC to their leagues? Who wants this guy in the NBA? Honestly, would he be missed if he went home?
Theo Ratliff- due to injuries, hasn't played since 1994.
Mitch Richmond- because he somehow conned the greatest power in pro sports into giving him money to play basketball.
Jalen Rose- because him and Webber's AAU team name when they were 13 was the Superfriends. Why not just cut out all the riff-raff and call themselves The Ambiguously Gay Duo?
Dennis Scott- hasn't made a shot in two years. No, seriously.
Jerry Stackhouse- because his shooting percentage was even lower than Iverson's last year. Also, because he only has 34 career rebounds. Total.
John Starks- I will always hate everyone from the Knicks in their heyday.
Maurice Taylor- because he should be as good as Chris Webber, but he sucks.
Jamaal Tinsley- I thought he was a really polished rookie, but he's only shooting 8% from the field. Wait, no, 6%. I'm sorry, 5%. Run!!!! Jamaal Tinsley's shooting percentage is falling! It'll crush us all!! Oh wait, it's not big enough. False alarm.
Jeff Trepagnier- OK, so he can jump. Go be a high-jumper then, because he sucks at basketball.
Nick Van Exel- could currently be the point guard of one of the greatest dynasties in sports history, but he was too selfish. Think about that: this is the same team that went through the Kobe/Phil/Shaq fiasco season before last, and Van Exel was too selfish for *that.*
Keith Van Horn- I'm hearing how he's having a career rennasiance, but he's averaging fewer points than ever before. Also, he's a 6'10" forward with a career shooting percentage of .435. Man, that sucks.
Ratko Varda- I think the Eastern Europeans name their kids by playing Boggle.
Jake Vohskul- why do tall, talentless white guys from UConn keep getting drafted, and why do they stay in the league? I'm at least white and untalented, if not tall, and I go to a better school than UConn. Can I at least get invited to an NBA training camp?
Antoine Walker- is the 6'9" version of Allen Iverson. Averages more shot attempts per game than 12 individual teams.
ZhiZhi Wang- after seeing this guy, people still want the other Chinese guy still over there? Fine, they can have him. Let's just hope the Bulls draft Jason Williams if they get the first pick.
Charlie Ward- because he refused to play wide receiver. He would have been an All-Pro receiver as well, but couldn't swallow his pride to leave the QB position. Antaawn Randle-El is doing it, why couldn't you? And I'm a Florida State fan, to boot.
Chris Webber- TIMEOUT!!!!!
Once again, this was only for laughs. If I insulted your favorite player, don't worry; I insulted all of mine, too. If I personally offended you, don't worry; I'll probably do it again at some time.
lol...too funny...
With no further ado, from the depths of my brain and imagination......
The Official List of Players that Suck:
Tariq Abdul Wahad- what a stupid name.
Ray Allen- got to do a movie scene with two big-tittied chicks, and I didn't.
Kenny Anderson- nickname is Chibbs. How gay is that?
Vin Baker- was in his prime for, oh, 27 minutes.
Mookie Blaylock- was the original name of the band Pearl Jam. And that's his greatest claim to fame. How much does that say for his abilities as a basketball player?
Calvin Booth- because the Sonics save money on travel by just faxing him from city to city, he's so skinny.
Elden Campbell- is less famous than the soup bearing his name. That must suck; less famous than low-quality soup.
Vince Carter- supposed to be the greatest dunker ever, and Jason Freakin Richardson has more dunks than he did last year. What, he's slowing down at age 25? What is this?
Sam Cassell- one look at him, and you know Area 51 is no joke.
Michael Curry- is only the third most famous player in the league named Curry, and the other two suck.
Baron Davis- there are about 47 Davises in the league, so I picked the ugliest one. And the others ain't exactly beauty queens..
Antonio Davis- because, contradicting what I said above, I find myself strangly attracted to him-I mean......uh.......I was kidding? Yeah......that's the ticket!
Chris Dudley- he may seriously be the worst player in league history. And he's a worse FT shooter than Shaq.
Howard Eisley- he went from Heir to Stockton's throne to the Knicks' 8th string point guard. What a dumba$$.
LaPhonso Ellis- because the dickhole should have gone to Illinois, not Notre Dame. I hate Digger Phelps.
Evan Eshmyer- he's 6'11", 255, yet looking at his face, I honestly believe I could beat his a$$.
Patrick Ewing- do you know how many playoff games he choked in at the last second? 206.
Danny Ferry- because he was supposedly one of the better college players ever, yet he only averaged double digits twice in the NBA. And no one really cared when he did.
Marcus Fizer- he sucks. He just plain sucks.
Greg Foster- because I always get him mixed up with Jeff Foster.
Jeff Foster- because I always get him mixed up with Greg Foster.
Kevin Garnett- because I saw him play in the state tourney his senior year, and he wasn't the best player on his own team. And they lost.
Chris Gatling- because he averaged 19 points one season, but did so little else, he couldn't crack the starting lineup.
Brian Grant- because his hair looks like french fries.
Eddie Griffin- he got kicked out of high school, got suspended last year for punching a teammate, and looks like he's depressed as hell when he's playing basketball.
Darvin Ham- got an SI cover in college for breaking the backboard. I broke a salad bowl a couple days ago; where's my SI cover?
Al Harrington- because at this moment, I could beat him at 1-on-1.
Zydrunas Illgauskas- because I had to look up his name, it's so hard to spell. And why would I want to? He's useless. Whoops! He just cut himself shaving. He's out for the year.
Allen Iverson- every time his scrawny ass gets knocked down, I'm hoping it's career-ending. And every time, he gets back up.
Bobby Jackson- was a bltch at Minnesota, and is a bltch in Sac-town. I don't care if McGrady started it, I think there's a rule against fighting players averaging 20 points more than you. If not, there should be.
Mike James- what a boring name.
Harold Jamison- did anyone see him at Clemson? If so, is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking: if he's on an NBA roster, there are about 10 too many teams in the league.
Michael Jordan- remember when your mom used to tell you if you keep making faces, your face will freeze like that? Well, do you have a better way to explain his tongue always hanging about?
Shawn Kemp- went from the most ferocious dunker in the league since Darryl Dawkins to the most voracious eater in the league since Stanley Roberts.
Jason Kidd- because he shoots 13% from the field. If he gets hot.
Brevin Knight- I don't know, he just seems like a geek.
Travis Knight- see: Harold Jamison.
Christian Laettner- remember that game against Kentucky? The Shot? Yeah, he shoulda been thrown out of that game earlier for stomping on a guy's chest. What a farce.
Trajan Langdon- he's still in the NBA? He's what Allan Houston would be if Allan Houston was 6'3" and averaging 3.1 points a game.
Felipe Lopez- one of the first "Next Jordans." One of the worst players in the league, too. He's just brutal.
Tyronn Lue- because guards that shoot 64% from the line suck.
Corey Maggette- was supposed to be the best player in the nation his senior year of high school, but ended up being the third best in the state. I would say he left college too early as well, but Mike Dunleavy would have started ahead of him anyway.
Karl Malone- because I like "The Man Show's" Karl Malone much better. "Until next time, this heaha, Ka' M'lone." Cracks me up every time.
Shawn Marion- is nicknamed after one of the most boring movies ever made. Why not nickname him "Dogma," or "Office Space?" You know, a good movie.
Makhtar Ndiaye- was such a bad college player that he had to leave Michigan. HOW IS HE IN THE NBA?????
Johnny Newman- he's still in the league? I thought he was dead.
Moochie Norris- what kind of self-respecting individual allows themselves to be called Moochie?
Jermaine O'Neal- is a grizzled veteran at age 23. Then again, most NBA players are dads by age 18, so I guess it works out fine.
Shaquille O-Neal- You're not supposed to give yourself a nickname. He's given himself 1,285 nicknames. Each week of the season.
Lamar Odom- Could be *PUFF* really good *PUFF* if it weren't for one *PUFF* one thing...oh man, I've got the munchies.
Greg Ostertag- some of us may think Iverson's a little thug, some of us may think Vince Carter sucks, some may think Dirk plays a boring game, but I think we can all agree on one thing: Greg Ostertag is useless.
Tony Parker- since when do black guys come from France?
Morris Peterson- is it me, or is he really slow for a competent NBA small forward?
Terry Porter- you know how old he is? 109.
Lavar Postell- yet another guy who sucked in college who is now in the NBA. Hey, if this keeps up, I think the Bulls might sign *me.*
Vladimir Radmanovic- OK, fine. I think there's enough European guys in the league. Don't they have their own leagues over there? Do they see us sending Kobe and VC to their leagues? Who wants this guy in the NBA? Honestly, would he be missed if he went home?
Theo Ratliff- due to injuries, hasn't played since 1994.
Mitch Richmond- because he somehow conned the greatest power in pro sports into giving him money to play basketball.
Jalen Rose- because him and Webber's AAU team name when they were 13 was the Superfriends. Why not just cut out all the riff-raff and call themselves The Ambiguously Gay Duo?
Dennis Scott- hasn't made a shot in two years. No, seriously.
Jerry Stackhouse- because his shooting percentage was even lower than Iverson's last year. Also, because he only has 34 career rebounds. Total.
John Starks- I will always hate everyone from the Knicks in their heyday.
Maurice Taylor- because he should be as good as Chris Webber, but he sucks.
Jamaal Tinsley- I thought he was a really polished rookie, but he's only shooting 8% from the field. Wait, no, 6%. I'm sorry, 5%. Run!!!! Jamaal Tinsley's shooting percentage is falling! It'll crush us all!! Oh wait, it's not big enough. False alarm.
Jeff Trepagnier- OK, so he can jump. Go be a high-jumper then, because he sucks at basketball.
Nick Van Exel- could currently be the point guard of one of the greatest dynasties in sports history, but he was too selfish. Think about that: this is the same team that went through the Kobe/Phil/Shaq fiasco season before last, and Van Exel was too selfish for *that.*
Keith Van Horn- I'm hearing how he's having a career rennasiance, but he's averaging fewer points than ever before. Also, he's a 6'10" forward with a career shooting percentage of .435. Man, that sucks.
Ratko Varda- I think the Eastern Europeans name their kids by playing Boggle.
Jake Vohskul- why do tall, talentless white guys from UConn keep getting drafted, and why do they stay in the league? I'm at least white and untalented, if not tall, and I go to a better school than UConn. Can I at least get invited to an NBA training camp?
Antoine Walker- is the 6'9" version of Allen Iverson. Averages more shot attempts per game than 12 individual teams.
ZhiZhi Wang- after seeing this guy, people still want the other Chinese guy still over there? Fine, they can have him. Let's just hope the Bulls draft Jason Williams if they get the first pick.
Charlie Ward- because he refused to play wide receiver. He would have been an All-Pro receiver as well, but couldn't swallow his pride to leave the QB position. Antaawn Randle-El is doing it, why couldn't you? And I'm a Florida State fan, to boot.
Chris Webber- TIMEOUT!!!!!
Once again, this was only for laughs. If I insulted your favorite player, don't worry; I insulted all of mine, too. If I personally offended you, don't worry; I'll probably do it again at some time.
lol...too funny...
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Kobe Bryant - The best player in the league, yet is a MJ wanna-be...but, even MJ himself is a wanna-be these days.
<< <i>Funny list but Ronnie Fields as a Junior was not better then Garnett as a senior. In his Senior year he was better then KG or any other HS player I have seen. Unless you didn't mean Fields in which case the only other star on Farragut was Micheal Wright but he was a Freshman and a none factor. Either way the Admirals chocked. >>
Yeah, but you know how it is...it was only a joke list. Nothing major. Just a little humor. You'll learn not to take me so seriously...
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#1 MICHAEL OLOWOKANDI COLLECTOR
South Of The Border Cards
THE BEST SET IN THE WORLD...
BAD TRADER: AiRjOrDaN22
R.I.P Josher416
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how about Rasheed Wallace - how many people do you know that get thrown out of the game for looking at the ref??
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"Kid, get off me! Go back to school"
eat this, nikobe
LMAOOOOO
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<< <i>Shawn Marion- is nicknamed after one of the most boring movies ever made. Why not nickname him "Dogma," or "Office Space?" You know, a good movie. >>
Grrrr
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<< <i>
<< <i>Shawn Marion- is nicknamed after one of the most boring movies ever made. Why not nickname him "Dogma," or "Office Space?" You know, a good movie. >>
Grrrr
thematrix -
Undertaker - Yeah...that's pretty funny...LOL!
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! ! Greatest Country on Earth ! !
! ! FREEDOM IS NOT FREE ! !
WANTS:Nicer Cal Ripken Inserts.
Also want RCs of current Football-Hockey future stars.
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References:We have traded with many traders on this forum.We can provide list on request.
when you wanna preach, go to church, OK!?
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<< <i>Elden Campbell- is less famous than the soup bearing his name. That must suck; less famous than low-quality soup. >>
i have a real problem with this! I mean, you can make fun of him and all BUT DONT DISS THE SOUP! MMMM, BETTA!
<< <i>thematrix - ...I thought you were leaving dude? >>
I didn't say I was leaving I said I was stopping collecting "dude"
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<< <i>
<< <i>thematrix - ...I thought you were leaving dude? >>
I didn't say I was leaving I said I was stopping collecting "dude" >>
Hmm, don't have to be A$$ about it......DUDE.
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posts is he keeps inundating this forum with his wannabe champion Braves garbage.This year will be just like any other year in Atlanta,they'll make the playoffs,won't sell out the stadium & get beat in the 1st round anyway.Why don't you just join a Braves chat room & give the rest of us here a break;please!
Thito was correct;college basketball is so much better than the NBA!
Under-I am not whining or preaching;just stating the facts as they are.Get over it & dump those NBA cards before all they are good for is wallpapering your room.That is,if there is any room left what with all those Laker posters you probably have up there to excite you.
But don't take any of this serious now,just joking!! LOL!
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Also want RCs of current Football-Hockey future stars.
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References:We have traded with many traders on this forum.We can provide list on request.
I do like hockey better because it's so much faster paced, players aren't as lazy.
batman, I agree. This list was just a joke anyway. As you can see...some of the stuff I said wasn't even TOWARDS the player himself...just some meaningless drivel that I love.